Thursday, July 28, 2005

Jacko's new album flops, opens in the #128 spot on the charts.


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R.I.P. Stifler is dead


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The Top 5 Summer Reading Books For True Christian Kids! (Landover Baptist)
  • They really spent a lot of time on this, including a parody of amazon.com, complete with customer reviews and recommendations for related titles.
  • "Customers who bought titles by Gloria Steinhunt also bought titles by these authors: Adolf Hitler, President George Bush, JorgĂ© Luis Borges"
  • When you click on Adolph Hitler, you will be taken to the real home page of Bob Jones University


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Summer is here. Settle in for Beach TV


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Richard Pryor has filed a lawsuit against director Penelope Spheeris over the first (unreleased) film that Pryor ever starred in. I would love to see him win and flush this film out into the open for all of us.


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Open source beer?? No kidding.


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The trailer for Prime, a new comedy starring that wacky cut-up, Meryl Streep
  • "Prime' is a sophisticated, character comedy set in New York City about Rafi (Thurman), a recently divorced 37-year-old career woman from Manhattan, and what happens when Dave, a talented 23-year-old painter from Brooklyn, falls in love with her. 'Prime' looks at love from everyone's point of view--friends, relatives and in this case, Rafi's therapist (Streep)--and follows all who come apart, and some who pull it together, when two people fall in love."


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The trailer for another upcoming Nic Cage movie, Lord of War
  • "Lord of War" is an action adventure story set in the world of international arms dealing. The film, based on fact, follows the globetrotting exploits of arms dealer Yuri Orlov (Nicolas Cage). Through some of the deadliest war zones, Yuri struggles to stay one step ahead of a relentless Interpol agent (Ethan Hawke), his business rivals, even some of his customers who include many of the world's most notorious dictators. Finally, Yuri must also face his own conscience.


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The trailer for Ghost Rider
  • "In order to save his dying father, young stunt cyclist Johnny Blaze sells his soul to Mephistopheles and sadly parts from the pure-hearted Roxanne Simpson, the love of his life. Years later, Johnny's path crosses again with Roxanne, now a gogetting reporter, and also with Mephistopheles, who offers to release Johnny's soul if Johnny becomes the fabled, fiery Ghost Rider, a supernatural agent of vengeance and justice. Mephistopheles charges Johnny with defeating the despicable Blackheart, Mephistopheles's nemesis and son, who plans to displace his father and create a new hell even more terrible than the old one."


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The Daily Show discusses the end of the war on terror, or at least the end of the phrase "war on terror."


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The Daily Show discusses radio payola: "Usually if you ask a whore to give you the Franz Ferdinand, you get something else entirely."


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"Bob Costas chats with Jon Stewart about his new show Costas Now, which seems to air only occasionally"


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2005 Results of the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fiction Contest
  • "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."


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Something Awful looks at the "International Male" catalogue


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Weekly World News: "GHOST OF LINCOLN ADVISES BUSH ON WAR IN IRAQ." With (incredibly realistic) picture!


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Fascinating! What do music business executives say behind closed doors?


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Dave Chapelle visits a dying kid, and it goes well until they play video games.


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JoBlo: Comic-Con: Behind the Scenes, Pt. 1


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Richard Kelly's ''Southland Tales'' to begin as comic books, end as a movie. I like the idea, but I hope the movie makes sense on its own. Kelly is the director of Donnie Darko. His collaborator on the project is Silent Bob.


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Vienna's Leopold Museum has invited the public to come in the nude to view an exhibition of erotic works


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The trailer for Green Street Hooligans
  • "Journalism student Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) has been expelled from Harvard for a crime he didn't commit. His promising career ended and his future looking bleak, he heads for London to seek refuge with his married sister Shannon (Claire Forlani) and her husband Steve (Marc Warren). Steve introduces Matt to his younger brother Pete (Charlie Hunnam) and, through their friendship, Matt enters the world of football fanaticism and the secrecy and intrigue of the football firm."


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The trailer for Oliver Twist
  • Following their Academy-Award winning film, "The Pianist," director Roman Polanski and writer Ronal Harwood re-imagine Charles Dickens' classic story of a young orphan boy who gets involved with a gang of pickpockets in 19th Century London. Abandoned at an early age, Oliver Twist (Barney Clark) is forced to live in a workhouse lorded over by the awful Mr. Bumble, who cheats the boys of their meager rations. Desperate yet determined, Oliver makes his escape to the streets of London. Penniless and alone, he is lured into a world of crime by the sinister Fagin (Sir Ben Kingsley) - the mastermind of a gang of pint-sized pickpockets. Oliver's rescue by the kindly Mr. Brownlow is only the beginning of a series of adventures that lead him to the promise of a better life.


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Daily Show: "North Korea, the little nuclear state that could, returned to disarmament talks after a year hiatus."


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Borowitz: KIM JONG-IL DEMANDS IPOD ...Latest Twist in Nuke Talks Raises Eyebrows, Concerns


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Roger Ebert said: 'Stealth' is a offense against taste, intelligence and the noise pollution code "
  • "... Jamie Foxx, who in his speech on Oscar night should have thanked God this movie wasn't released while the voters were marking their ballots."


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rob Cohen meet Ewe Boll. Ewe Boll meet Rob Cohen.

His movies have almost no substance, is he related to Michael Bay or Stephen Sommers by some chance?

Damn Hollywood has some crappy directors out there, or bad writers, I'm not sure which anymore.

This movie is gonna bomb badder than The Island. Don't think even Jessica Biel can save it, but Jamie Foxx fans might come so it might beat it on that merit.

Sheesh where are all the good movies at?

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rob Cohen meet Ewe Boll. Ewe Boll meet Rob Cohen.

His movies have almost no substance, is he related to Michael Bay or Stephen Sommers by some chance?

Damn Hollywood has some crappy directors out there, or bad writers, I'm not sure which anymore.

This movie is gonna bomb badder than The Island. Don't think even Jessica Biel can save it, but Jamie Foxx fans might come so it might beat it on that merit.

Sheesh where are all the good movies at?

 

Daily Box Office - Tuesday - March of the Fucking Penguins climbs to #7!!!


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Multimedia: Clips from The Aristocrats - click on the South Park Joke


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"Top Ten O.J. Simpson Excuses For Stealing Direct TV"
  • For some reason, cable guy is afraid to come to the house.
  • Spends a lot of time watching television now that it's too hot to go out and kill.
  • Figured "real killers" might show up on one of them great premium movie channels


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The Right Time to Make Love - tips for teen girls from Evil Knievel and Chewbacca.


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George Bush and Tony Blair playing cards.


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Russell Crowe to star in A Good Year for director Ridley Scott.


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Blind Teen Amazes With Video-Game Skills ... "Brice Mellen is a whiz at video games such as 'Mortal Kombat.' In that regard, the 17-year-old isn't much different from so many others his age. Except for one thing: He's blind. "


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The story actually isn't too surprising. For the martial arts type games, the best strategy is to play aggressively, work the buttons rapidly, and use the special features as much as possible. Also, games with advanced stereo sound can provide positional cues.