Sunday, August 07, 2005

USA TODAY - Grading the summer films


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Remember the woman who was suing big-time Hollywood directors (James Cameron and the Wachowskis) for stealing her ideas? Case dismissed.
  • "She failed to show up for a preliminary hearing of her case. In a 53-page ruling, Judge Margaret Morrow of the Central District Court of California dismissed the suit, saying Stewart and her attorneys had not entered any evidence to bolster its key claims or demonstrated any striking similarity between her work and the accused directors' films."
  • Oh, those crafty shysters, overwhelming the poor woman with such petty legal technicalities.
  • It was especially pernicious to use the rules of evidence against her, because ... she WROTE those damned rules!


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The Diceman makes his pitch for his new genital shampoo - "Gee, your balls smell terrific"


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Mark Ruffalo discusses All the Kings Men and Zodiac


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They're the real Dukes of the real Hazard


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FilmJerk's ever-useful Early Report for August 7


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As my eighth grade teacher would say, "I'm looking at you, Paul Rubens." If you enjoy masturbating in a movie theater, then here is the site for you. Hey, who doesn't? I guess it's really a site for everyone. Probably gets more hits than Google.


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Is it true that anyone who read "Excalibur", by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, went insane? If so, it might explain that whole recent Tom Cruise thing.


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Scientists find that men have trouble hearing women.
  • Reminds me of the great line in Dumb and Dumber when Harry explains how he got unfairly dumped by his girl: "Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."


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Peter Jennings signs off, age 67.


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Paper Apologizes for Review "A month after running a negative review of John Irving's new novel, The Washington Post has run a negative review of that review."
  • Good start. I'd like to know when some of the major papers are going to apologize for their positive reviews - Eyes Wide Shut, for example. Now that I would like to read!
  • "You see, when a Great Director creates a horseshit film with big stars, we are obligated to say it is good, because if we say that it is horseshit, then (1) the director will deny us future access for scoops and interviews (2) the studio will make our lives miserable in terms of obtaining insider info like pre-screenings and info junkets (3) the stars will never talk to us again (4) everybody in the film community will call us dumb-asses for failing to see the genius of the Great Director. So when we run a review of a film by a so-called Great Director, please understand that it's just part of the publicity tour for the film, just the same as when the stars appear on the Tonight Show. That is all."


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Vintage Spanish-language movie posters (1970s)


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Headline we'd rather not think about: Man's testicles snared in a padlock for two weeks


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Borowitz: RAPPER 50 CENT OFFENDED BY NOVAK'S LANGUAGE ... Demands Warning Label for Foul-mouthed Pundit
  • "Elsewhere, one day after a recess was declared in the North Korean nuclear talks, President Bush took advantage of the recess to name John Bolton President of North Korea."


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The General Lee Charges to the top of the Weekend Box Office - Aug. 5-7, 2005
  • The penguin movie moved up to #6!!!
  • Wedding Crashers continued its streak of being in the top two for a fourth straight week.




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Jimmy Kimmel's "Unnecessary Censorship: July 29th, 2005"


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Three new clips from Broken Flowers, the latest Bill Murray arthouse Sad Sack film.


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7 Clips from The Skeleton Key

Official blurb:

  • "From the writer of 'The Ring' (Ehren Kruger) and the director of 'K-PAX' (Iain Softley) comes Universal Pictures' contemporary supernatural thriller, 'The Skeleton Key'. Set largely in the dark atmospheric backwoods just outside of New Orleans, 'The Skeleton Key' stars Hudson as Caroline, a live-in nurse hired to care for an elderly woman's (Rowlands) ailing husband (Hurt) in their home...a foreboding and decrepit mansion in the Louisiana delta. Intrigued by the enigmatic couple, their mysterious and secretive ways and their rambling house, Caroline beings to explore the old mansion. Armed with a skeleton key that unlocks every door, she discovers a hidden attic room that holds a deadly and terrifying secret. Peter Sarsgaard portrays Luke, the local attorney working on the couple's estate, and Joy Bryant plays Jill, Caroline's best friend."


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A new clip from The Man, the "mismatched buddy" comedy with Eugene Levy and Samuel L Jackson. I don't know how good the movie will be, but I laughed my ass off at this scene. Levy is hilarious, and Samuel L is the perfect straight man.


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The hazards of paparazzi life: A photographer was shot in the leg with a BB gun outside a home where he believed Britney Spears was attending a bridal shower


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