Monday, August 22, 2005

Some new state quarters.


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Six new clips from The Brothers Grimm, Terry Gilliam's new film which opens Friday.


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UW-Madison is the top party school. Brigham Young finished last.


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Rocker Mick Jagger can't GIVE no satisfaction


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Borowitz: BOTH EVOLUTION AND INTELLIGENT DESIGN FAIL TO EXPLAIN BUSH ... Scientists in Oslo Debate Origin of President


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which leaves the theory of creation: boy, God must REALLY hate the US then!

 

Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents My Name is Tanino
  • My Name is Tanino is an Italian coming-of-age comedy which never reached the States and is not available on North American DVD. So why the hell am I watching an Italian language DVD and writing about this film? The primary reason is that it features topless nudity from Rachel McAdams, who was virtually an unknown when she did this movie, but is now on her way toward A-list stardom (if she isn't already there) after an unbroken string of successes: Wedding Crashers, Mean Girls, Red Eye, The Notebook.


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President Bush Delivers Statement on the Forced Withdrawal of Israeli Religious Zealots From the Gazarian Strip (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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Women like R-rated laughs
  • I guess that's obvious, but I never would have guessed that "Women made up 54% of the audience for The 40-Year-Old Virgin, distributor Universal Pictures says. And they have made up the majority of the audience for Wedding Crashers, which has taken in $177.9 million."


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The Future of Terrorism: What al-Qaida Really Wants "the organization's master plan."
  • They pretty much want the same things we all want - a good life for their kids, affordable medical care, true love, some decent cable channels, and a painful death to all non-believers.


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A very big gallery from George Clooney's Good Night, and Good Luck, about Sen. McCarthy and Ed Murrow.


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Iron Maiden vs Sharon Osbourne at Ozzfest
  • Iron Maiden was "continuously pelted with ice, bottle caps, and eggs."
  • Hey, one thing I don't get. If you're some kind of bad-ass heavy metal pseudo-Satanic dudes, doesn't that kind of audience hatred mean that you're doing your job correctly? I mean that's the way Andy Kaufman always played it when he was Tony Clifton or the woman-wrestler. Or are people supposed to love up Iron Maiden like they do with Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme?


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Film Jerk's Early Report for August 22


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Say gals, looking for a way to avoid anal sex? Why not tattoo your asshole to look like a second vagina?


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More Nobel Prize candidates! Scientists prove that we are annoyed by annoying people and things!


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Conan O'Brien spends an evening as a Security Guard.


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The international trailer for In Her Shoes
  • "Alternately hilarious and heart-rending, 'In Her Shoes' is about two sisters with nothing in common but size 8 1/2 feet. After a calamitous falling out, they travel the bumpy road toward a true appreciation for one another -- aided along the way by the grandmother they never knew they had."


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Here is the trailer from Doom which was shown at ComicCon
  • "Something has gone wrong at a remote scientific research station on Mars. All research has ceased. Communication has failed. And the messages that do get through are less than comforting. It's a level 5 quarantine and the only souls allowed in or out are the Rapid Response Tactical Squad - hardened Marines armed to the teeth with enough firepower to neutralize the enemy... or so they think. The research being done at Odluval station has unwittingly opened a door and all hell has broken loose. A legion of nightmarish creatures of unknown origin lurk behind every wall and stalk the countless rooms and tunnels of the facility, killing what few people remain. Sealing off the portal to Earth, Sarge (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), Reaper (Karl Urban) and their team must use every weapon at their disposal - and some they find along the way - to carry out their orders: nothing gets out alive."


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Clever Movie Title Sequences Designed by Saul Bass


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One poll shows the President's job approval rating at a new low, heading for Carter Country.
  • He still has plenty of goals left to reach if he can just get those gas prices up a little more! Four presidents have made it into the 20s. Bush's dad crashed to 29 from his high of 89. Carter, who had the lowest average rating for an entire Presidency (45), hit a nadir of 28. Nixon plummeted to 24 just before he resigned in August of 1974, and Truman set the all time record of 23 when he fired MacArthur.
  • Presidential Approval Ratings, 1953-1999 . (The Truman info can be found in the Gallup "65 years of polling" link below)


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Gallup Poll Quiz - trivia about 65 years of polling.


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I didn't know that! Can you guess which state has the highest SAT scores? (.pdf format)


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Blogger wiley said...

The reason why the Midwest and South have so many of the top states?

The ACT is the more common college entrance exam in those states. So only dorks (like me :)) took the SAT as well.

 

Arthouse hotshot Atom Egoyan faces an NC-17 rating for his new movie, over a threesome between Kevin Bacon, Colin Firth, and Rachel Blanchard. The producer says, " It cannot be cut without compromising the central scene of the narrative and thus rendering the mystery of the film incomprehensible."



TRIVIA: the guy who wrote the book upon which this film is based (see below) also wrote the words and music for the Pina Colada Song!



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"Records related to Kennedy's assassination are still being hidden for reasons of 'national security.'"


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Damn, I love Norway. Norwegian police have to call a taxi to respond to emergency calls.


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Coors pays $60 million per year to be the official beer of the NFL


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Anonymous Sparks said...

Does that mean we'll see it on the sidelines next to the Gatorade?

 

Wal-Mart Charges Master Thieves $175 for Stolen Sheep Shit


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Goalie attends rock concert, Belgian youth soccer team suffers 50-1 defeat. The general manager of the Kansas City Royals is currently trying to book a match against them.


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Norwegians behave oddly "when passing sheep in traffic."
  • I'm shocked! You mean Norway now has cars faster than sheep?
  • What they really mean is even sillier. Norwegians are more likely to slow down when they see sheep than when they see children.
  • Well, of course. It's illegal and immoral to stop and have sex with children.


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The Straight Dope: Did New York water pressure drop because of toilet flushing after the Super Bowl?


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Snoop starts his own youth football league.
  • People in the rival league are complaining because Snoop runs a better program and charges half as much!! Oh no, not that! Why can't he offer poor quality at a high price like everyone else? That no-good S.O.B.! Why does he hate America?


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English as She is Spoke


The official blurb:
  • In 1855, when Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino wrote an English phrasebook for Portuguese students, they faced just one problem: they didn't know any English. Even worse, they didn't own an English-to-Portuguese dictionary. What they did have, though, was a Portuguese-to-French dictionary, and a French-to-English dictionary. The linguistic train wreck that ensued is a classic of unintentional humor, now revived in the first newly selected edition in a century. Armed with Fonseca and Carolino's guide, a Portuguese traveler can insult a barber ("What news tell me? All hairs dresser are newsmonger"), complain about the orchestra ("It is a noise which to cleve the head"), go hunting ("let aim it! let make fire him"), and consult a handy selection of truly mystifying "Idiotisms and Proverbs."
  • According to McSweeney's, Mark Twain read this book, and wrote "Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect."


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Claymation. Master Little teaches kids how to live with a small penis.


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Make your own Magazine Cover


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Coogan says he has not impregnated Courtney Love.
  • The BBC considers it news that somebody denied fucking Courtney Love? I'd like to see them find somebody who'd admit fucking Courtney. Now THAT would be a story. What did they expect Coogan to say? "Oh, yeah. (Blows on nails. Shines them on chest.) I tapped that ass. Fucked her in every one of her needle holes. Fall on your knees in admiration."


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How did Jude Law turn into Tommy Lee overnight?


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WTF? Salvador Dali story of the day. "Sacha Baron Cohen was dunked in the sea by Pamela Anderson's bodyguards - after rugby-tackling the actress at her dogs' wedding." The only thing that would make this story better is if the dogs wrote their own vows.


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