Friday, September 09, 2005

More seduction tips from the Weekly World News: "TURN YOUR PAD INTO A... LOVE SHACK!" Since I started following their incredible tips, I'm exhausted from love. I had to cancel my subscription. At my age, I just can't service twenty women every day.


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Download First Mommy Barbara Bush's "Houston for the Underprivileged" Tour Guide (whitehouse.org)


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Letterman's "Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your New Teacher"
  • "Science, scientology, what's the difference?"
  • "Show of hands...who has a single, slutty mom?"



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Urban Legends Reference Pages: President Bush fishing in New Orleans. I think Snopes was being a bit disingenuous here. It's not like anyone ever believed these were real pictures, so there was no need to debunk them. Having said that, l'll add that the one of Bush fishing in New Orleans's flooded streets got me laughing out loud. Instead of the guitar picture, there should have been a picture of Bush fiddling in front of a fire.


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'Kiss Kiss', nude show light up Toronto festival . Are you seated? The nudie film features Bob Hoskins in the buff. Yesssssss!! I've been waiting for that. Still no news on the big Abe Vigoda nude scene.


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The full trailer for Saw II. "This sequel to last year's surprise hit features the return of a sadistic, inventive killer known only as 'Jigsaw.'"


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Sin City to be re-released in a two-disc DVD, with an extended cut (additional 23 minutes). Yeah, I know it's a double-dip, and only a few months after the first DVD, but I also know I will own it.


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The Exorcism of Emily Rose is "based on a true story" - here is that story.


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Stars to sing TV themes at the 2005 Emmy Awards. I didn't make the following up:
  • Bill Shatner and an opera star will team up on Star Trek
  • Donald Trump will sing the Green Acres theme


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Conan's latest interview with the Clutch Cargo version of George Bush


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The trailer from Daltry Calhoun
  • "The Knoxville, Tennessee-set film is a dark comedy about a father (Knoxville) struggling to keep his once lucrative Tennessee golfing empire intact when his estranged 14-year-old daughter (a gifted musician) is unexpectedly left in his care. Lewis will star as the current love interest of Knoxville's character, with Banks playing the mother of the girl, Koechner as Calhoun's right-hand man and Gurry as an Australian golf expert."


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Don't Refloat - The case against rebuilding the sunken city of New Orleans.


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Chris Martin says the inspiration behind Coldplay's hit album X&Y is pornography. According to The Sun he said: 'I'd been drained of ideas but then I started getting inspiration and it was mainly from porn."


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Paul McCartney's new album is online for the next four days.


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Restaurant busted for selling faux tiger meat. Inspectors came to shut them down because Siberian Tigers are an endangered species. "After inspection, the owner confessed that the so-called tiger meat was donkey meat that had been dressed with tiger urine to give the dish a 'special' flavour"
  • You mean it's illegal to use real endangered animals? Damn! This news just about ruins my restaurant. I can fake the entree because I can make Buffalo Scoop's Spotted Owl Wings with chicken marinated in spotted owl piss, but I just don't know how to cover the main course (Cap'n Scoopy's Man o' Manatee) because manatees piss in the water.


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N'awlins News Niblets
  • "Decrying the federal government's response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster as 'an utter disgrace,' actor-activist Sean Penn today unveiled his design for a gigantic man-controlled robot suit that, if successful, could bail out the waterlogged city of New Orleans 'within a matter of hours.' Penn's 900-foot tall mecha design features a 250,000 gallon red plastic kegger cup potentially capable of moving millions of gallons of contaminated water from the streets."


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Online Game : Flying Spaghetti Monster
  • "Some people believe the universe was created in the Big Bang. Some believe that it was created when God spoke. And then there are Pastafarians, who believe it was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Guide the Flying Spaghetti Monster around the neighborhood and convert as many citizens into Pastafarians before time runs out. If you convert enough people, you'll win your reward in heaven. Don't try to convert the heathen school administrators; they get angry."


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Brian Williams talks to Jon Stewart about his firsthand experiences in New Orleans.


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Daily Show: "President Bush marked Rehnquist with the kind of remembrance that can only come from an encyclopedia."


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The Daily Show in New Orleans: "If we give timetables on when evacuation will be completed it will only embolden the enemy."


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Mike's Classic Cartoon Theme Songs "a Bob Clampett cartoo-OOON"


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The 5 worst "best friends" from 80's teen movies ...


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You think you're a bad-ass? Check out this guy. Aussie surfer punches out a great white shark


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"Haven't seen much of Lisa Guerrero lately? You'll soon have that opportunity. She posed for the January issue of Playboy magazine, due out the second week in December."


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The latest must-have gadget, Apple's iPod nano. 1000 songs on a device the size of two credit cards.


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The Homosexual Handshake Exposed!


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Day 2 of our 2006 NFL Cheerleader parade goes to Oakland.
  • Our cheerleading expert wrote: "Maybe the Raiders would have faired a bit better in last night's contest had they had these lovely ladies dancing on the sidelines, ala the classic Keanu Reeve's epic, "The Replacements." The web site is a bit difficult to navigate, but we are rewarded with nice pictures of beautiful ladies. I would have like better pictures in the girls bios rather than the glossy Glamour Shots featured. Several years ago this squad arguably replaced the famed Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders as the premiere NFL Cheerleader squad. This year the competition gets a bit tougher, as the Raiderettes slide back a few notches. 8 out of 10."


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Saints to play four home games in San Antonio.


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Here's the video of: "Go Fuck Yourself, Mr. Cheney" Geez, Cheney looks ancient in this video.


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Comedy Central orders 42 more episodes of South Park


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