Tuesday, September 13, 2005

This week's movies: Lord of War - 50% positive reviews
  • The Good: "An oddly satisfying mesh of an international action-adventure with an extremely dark satire about the global arms trade."
  • The Bad: "Thanks to all of the voice-over, Lord of War feels like a two-hour trailer for a better movie."


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This week's movies: Just Like Heaven - 70% positive reviews. My favorite review: "Just Like Heaven is just awful. It's gonna do great business."


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The Weekend Warrior predicts the box office. He's calling the new releases as follows:
  • Just Like Heaven (Reese Witherspoon romantic ghost comedy) - 3000 screens - in the number one slot.
  • Lord of War (Nic Cage arms dealer action/drama) - 2400 screens - third place
  • Cry Wolf (teenage slasher/horror/mystery) - 1500 screens - number six
  • Venom (another teenager vs evil forces movie) - 750 screens - out of the top 10.
  • The Greatest Game Ever Played - 750 screens - sneak peek, Saturday only.


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Truck spills $800,000 worth of quarters on the highway.


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"PARIS HILTON is keen to make sure her singing career is a success - because she is worried that she will be mocked if it fails."
  • Her fears seem totally unfounded. C'mon, who would mock Paris?
  • Actually, Paris is in the perfect position to fail. Let's face it, if Harry Connick sings badly, he would obviously get more mockery than if he sings well. But Paris? Pretty much the same - at mockery saturation level. So she really has nothing to lose. I mean, is she afraid that people would have a lower opinion of her? Get real.


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Sorry, you just missed it. Saturday was World Naked Gardening Day


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Two more clips from Lord of War. (Nic Cage as an arms dealer.)


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CHERTOFF UNVEILS APATHY ALERT SYSTEM ... "Reacting to criticism that the federal government does not respond quickly enough in times of emergency and crisis, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff today unveiled what he called “a color-coded apathy alert system” that will warn the public of just how sluggish the government’s response will be."


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The Straight Dope: Why are there holes in the prongs of electrical plugs? The simple answer: "Who gives a fuck?"


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The trailer and three clips from A History of Violence
  • "A thriller from director David Cronenberg, 'A History of Violence' stars Viggo Mortensen as a pillar of a small town community who runs a diner and lives a happy and quiet life with his wife (Maria Bello) and two children. But their lives are forever changed when Mortensen thwarts an attempted robbery and is lauded as a hero by the media, attracting the attention of some mobsters (William Hurt and Ed Harris) who believe he is someone else."


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Yet another clip from Elizabethtown


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A new clip from Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown.


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A clip from The Thing About My Folks, the new film with Paul Reiser and Peter Falk.


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The Japanese trailer for Seven Swords.
  • "In the early 1600's, the Manchurians have taken over sovereignty of China and established the Ching Dynasty. While many nationalist revolts still brew within the martial artists' community, the newly set-up government immediately imposes a Martial Arts Ban, forbidding the practice of martial arts altogether in order to gain control and order. Wind Fire (Sun Hong-Lei), a surrendered military official from the previous dynasty, sees this as an opportunity to make a fortune for himself by helping to execute the new law. Greedy, cruel, and immoral, Wind Fire ravages the North-western China, and his next goal is to attack the final frontier, Martial Village. Fu Qingzhu, a retired executioner from the previous dynasty, feels the need to put a stop to this brutality and sets out to save Bowei Fortress. He brings Wu Yuanyin and Han Zhiban from the village with him to Mount Heaven to seek help from Master Shadow-Glow, a hermit who is a master of swords and leads a group of disciples of great swordsmanship. Master Shadow-Glow agrees to help, and orders four of his best disciples to go. Together with Chu Zhaonan, Yang Yunchong, Mulong, and Xin Longzi, the "Seven Swords" is formed and their heroic journey begins. As they lead the entire village to the road of a safer place, they begin to encounter mysterious confusion. Food and water is poisoned, and trails of escape are marked with signs leading the enemy to them. They soon realize that there is an undercover spy, and the "Seven Swords" must identify him/her before Wind Fire's army gets to them. Between this narrow gap of life and death, the situation is further complicated by the blossoms of love."


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Four new clips from Wolf Creek
  • "A chilling, factually-based, story of three road-trippers in remote Australia who are plunged into danger when they accept help from a friendly local."


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The trailer for Rag Tale
  • "'Rag Tale' chronicles a week in the life of a tabloid newspaper in contemporary London. Its tyrannical chairman and obsequious editor (who is also sleeping with the chairman's wife!) battle for political supremacy, using staff journalists as pawns in the power games they play out in the pages of the press."


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The trailer for Human Error
  • "Dobbitt (Knott) is called away from his wife for an indeterminate but lengthy stint at the grungiest of third-world factories – an increasingly dangerous plant that produces toxins as it belches out its mysterious "Units" to meet the company's quotas. Following a seemingly endless days' journey to his new home, Dobbitt meets his new colleague and roommate-from-hell Hanrahan (Berkeley). While Dobbitt tries his hardest to please, Hanrahan is a caustic and bitter man who immediately questions the new arrival's motives. The two report to Merkin (Bower), a petty and paranoid manager who ruthlessly pits his two subordinates against each other. In their own ways, the three "tango" for power within the company and in their dealings with each other, forming and breaking and reforming alliances along the way.


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The trailer for Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic
  • "Silverman, who has been compared to the legendary Lenny Bruce, is known as one of the funniest and most provocative people in comedy. Despite the current political climate, in Jesus is Magic, she takes on such pitch-black topics as September 11th, unwanted body hair, and the Holocaust, and spins them into decidedly un-PC comedic gold."


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The Japanese trailer for In Her Shoes
  • "Alternately hilarious and heart-rending, 'In Her Shoes' is about two sisters (Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette) with nothing in common but size 8.5 feet. After a calamitous falling out, they travel the bumpy road toward a true appreciation for one another -- aided along the way by the grandmother they never knew they had (Shirley MacLaine)."


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Madden's long-delayed "Proof" hits theaters. (It stars Paltrow and Dr. Lecter)


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David Letterman and the Talking Dog


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Application Process: Job - United States Supreme Court Justice - Apply your Serenity, Courage and Wisdom


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Katherine Heigl interested in playing Wonder Woman. (Just idle chit-chat, not official casting news.) Damn, it looks like Joan Cusack is out of the running!
  • I've pointed out that my choice would be Monica Bellucci, assuming it's OK for WW to speak with an accent. Catherine Bell would be good. Liv Tyler also looks like Wonder Woman, but doesn't really have the requisite kickassitude.


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Blogger Goose said...

Catherine Bell would be an excellent choice. Her amazing rack, stuffed into that costume, that alone would worth the price of admission. How about some Catherine Bell sometime soon?

 

A new featurette about Doom (the movie).


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Sky Showbiz polled the Best And Worst Dressed Celebs - and Posh Spice almost won both!!


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CNN.com - Whatever happened to 'The Outsiders'? Made twenty years ago, Coppola's teen drama featured possibly the greatest young cast ever assembled. They were all unknown or virtually unknown at the time, but many went on to join the A-list, and even the ones with disappointing careers have stayed busy and have enjoyed moments in the sun. Looking at their lives provides a lesson about the nature of fame. C. Thomas Howell was the star of that film, while Tom Cruise had a smaller part.


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Mr. T pitches a new reality series called 'I Pity the Fool'


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Jon Stewart and Chris Mooney discuss Mooney's subtly titled book 'The Republican War on Science.'


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The Daily Show's Fun Evolution Facts: There is a growing consensus that on the eighth day God created Cher.


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The Daily Show: "Meet the Little Fuckers" A look at the role state and local officials had in making Katrina disaster what it was."


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The Daily Show's Evolution Tour looks at the famous Scopes Trial. "Ed Helms visits at a quaint reenactment town that would be terrifying if it were real."


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The Daily Show looks at what's taught in science class, or, as it's known in some places, 'The Crazy Claim Magic Fun Hour'?"


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2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 4: Philadelphia Eagles

"Scoop - I have started to hear some grumbling that I have been a bit harsh in my ratings of the first three cheerleading squads. Sure all of these ladies are beautiful, talented, and put in a lot of work. But what makes a top notch squad, and a world class web site? Look no further than the defending NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles. When you click on the cheerleader section of the team's web site, you are greeted with this warning.

Thus the sign of good things ahead.

The Philadelphia cheerleading squad had made waves the last few season for sexy uniforms designed by fashion mogul Vera Wang, a racy lingerie calendar, Maxim Magazine layouts, and oh yeah, beautiful women. The web site is professional! Video clips, webcasting, great bios with tons of pics of all of the cheerleaders, a great news section with updates on all cheerleader activities (including auditions and charity work). The site is very easy to navigate and has lots of info.

Oh yeah, did I mention that these girls are hot! These girls even manage to look fantastic in the frigid Philly winter ... they gotta be cold.

I am not an Eagles fan, but I admit the cheerleading squad has my eye. They, like the guys on the field, are among the elite in the NFL. Two Jennifers and one Janipher, make this squad deep! Check out the bios here.

Rating 9.5 out of 10."


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Blogger Dan said...

Their website isn't quite professional -- notice all the red-eye in the photo's. Kind of weird, when red-eye correction is so easy.

I'd take away .1 points for that -- let's call it 9.4

 

Cubespective. "Perfect for five minute time killer at the office."


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FBI agents catch a bank robber while on their lunch break


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Another movie of the week for Michael Rapaport. Thief tries to steal valuable copper wire - from a live power line.


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Playboy.com seeks women for "Girls of the Gap" feature


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Pornstar Shy Love Starts eBay Auction for Cancer Research. "Love has put together a special offer for her fans to bid on which includes two full days with her, including flight and hotel, along with activities that will be decided by she and the winner."


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The hazards of pre-taping. You've won ... an all expense paid vacation to wonderful New Orleans!!!


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Hilarious Domain Name Mispronunciations


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Bonds misses a homer by inches, Giants win


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A script review of Beowulf from Latino Review
  • "Folks, THIS SCRIPT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! The way the script is written, there is no way in bloody hell this will be a PG-13 film. This is definitely going to be a hard R. That would be the only way to do this thing justice. This is Conan the Barbarian R-rated, full of gruesome macho violence, boasting, and lots of sex. At least that is the way it is written. This flick is about a kick-ass balls-to-the-wall barbarian."


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is Working With Al Qaeda"


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