Thursday, September 15, 2005

So You Wanna Be A "Hooters" Girl? The Smoking Gun takes a peek at the beloved boobs-and-beer emporium's employee handbook.


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Jo Blo's complete five day report on Toronto Fest


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Bill Gates meets Napoleon Dynamite


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An arrest warrant has been issued for Dennis Rodman in Colorado. It's basically a misunderstanding. For all of the trouble he gets in, Dennis actually seems like a decent guy, and never really does anything mean or malicious. On the other hand, he's just not the brightest bulb on the tree, is he?


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This is a real headline in a real newspaper: "NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow"


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American Pie's Nadia, Shannon Elizabeth, celebrated her birthday in her birthday suit.


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Lawmakers and watchdog groups worry that allowing federal employees to charge up to $250,000 on their government-issued credit cards for Hurricane Katrina-related expenses will lead to a repeat of past abuses. No! D'ya think?


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Whoa! 13 things to do in Boston when you're stoned, dude.


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The trailer for Rob Marshall's Memoirs of a Geisha, which stars Zhang Ziyi


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A very good Robert Wise obit from the New York Times.
  • The submitter wrote: "Robert Wise has left us. Strange because Andromeda Strain just showed up in my mailbox. 1971 was a different world in so many ways ... The Berkley Faculty Club was respected enough that a Republican president backed the creation of a multi-billion dollar germ lab on their say-so. The fine for breaking security was $20,000 and 20 years in prison. And a G rated film showed bare breasts and buns."


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You fear that Bush's apology will soften people's hearts? Join The Angels of Indignation


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Renee Zellweger, Kenny Chesney seek annulment. "Renee said their marriage was four of the unhappiest minutes of her life, and that she would have her next wedding pre-annulled, to streamline the process."


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Anonymous kgb said...

I've said it before, I'll say it again.

How does this dough-faced broad with babyfat get so much press? She's a PIG! Cover the chicks from NYPD Blue, already.

 

Today's report from our cheerleading correspondent:



2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 6: Baltimore Ravens



Today we head to the Inner Harbor of Baltimore, Maryland. Home of a great aquarium, the best crab cakes you will ever have, and beloved Cal and the Orioles. The Ravens are somewhat new to the NFL. Although the team relocated from Cleveland in 1996, none of the Browns history, records, or statistics moved with the squad. This made the Ravens a new, but not an expansion, franchise. The Ravens, originally named the Rhinos but later changed, won Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa over the New York Giants. The team has since been known for toughness and a strong defense.



This toughness translates to the cheerleading squad. I am not meaning to put down the beauty of some of these hard working women, but some members of this team just scare me. Ameerah, Chrissy, Crystal, Dorthy, all hot! Chris, Reggie, Om, Justin, and Mike. YIKES! Guy cheerleaders...hells no! I am an equal opportunity guy. Tall women, short women, any race, religion, or favorite team...I'm behind the girls 100%. I have draw the line at guys. I understand that men allow more technical cheers to be completed. But men in cheerleading garb scream NCAA. This is the NFL. Give me my girls.



I wanted to rate just the girls, but I gotta rate the team as a team. I want to give these beautiful women an 8.5. But every time I look at Colette, Erin, or Toccara, I see the smiling mug of Ricky, Rob, or Dave. Fifteen guys knock down the rating to a 7.0 (a tenth of a point for each Will Farrell-Spartan-wannabe-male-cheerleader). The web site itself knocks it down another point. News and Features? Coming soon. Tryout info or photos? Coming soon. How about some shots from the big Millersville photo shoot back in JuneComing soon. The bios have little info on the squad, and only two photos of each member.

Plus one point for an autographed card set of the girls in swim wear. Minus one point for having to fork over $35.00 to see the goods. One final note...Molly, a body like that and you have five kids!?! One tenth point for each of them. You go girl!



Rating 6.5 out of 10.


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Steve Carell's project list: "Up next in the Carell Carousel is DAN IN REAL LIFE, a Disney romantic comedy about a widower/columnist living with his three kids who falls for his brother's girlfriend. Peter Hedges will direct the film and will rewrite the original script."
  • Given the presence of Disney and Hedges, I think we can expect the warm side of the ancient virgin, rather than his raunchy side.


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The trailer from One Bright Shining Moment: The Forgotten Summer of George McGovern, which retraces George McGovern's bold presidential campaign of 1972.
  • Hunter Thompson's "Fear and Loating on the Campaign Trail" summarized the quixotic McGovern campaign best: "The tragedy of all this is that George McGovern, for all his imprecise talk about new politics and "honesty in government," is one of the few men who've run for President of the United States who really understands what a fantastic monument to all the best instincts of the human race this country might have been, if we could have kept it out of the hands of greedy little hustlers like Richard Nixon."


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Another clip from Jenny McCarthy's new comedy, Dirty Love


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Here's a long clip from Cry Wolf


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Damned activist judges! A Nepalese court has ruled that women may no longer be kept in a cow-shed during their period.


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A clip from Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit


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The new trailer from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


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Roman Polanski update. What exactly is a Pole Dancing Home Party?


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German inventor: I never used dead cats for fuel. "I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."


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"The Ted Williams Memorial Display with Death Mask from The Ben Affleck 2004 World Series Collection"


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You think it's tough when you lose your keys? Heather McCartney lost her prosthetic leg when she clashed with security guards at Jennifer Lopez's office.


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BUSH DETERMINED TO PLAN NEXT CATASTROPHE. "As long as I sit in this chair, all future catastrophes will be planned by me."


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"Jon Stewart leads the first-ever Daily Show discussion panel in the Evolution/Schmevolution debate."


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Daily Show: "Evolution Tour: Hooters" "A look at a living monument to the Darwinian processes of adaptation and natural selection."


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The Daily Show's Lewis Black looks at evolution.


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What, me sorry? Bush apologizes - "A humbling moment which raises two questions: Who are you? What have you done with the president?"


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The Daily Show: Test your knowledge with this Evolution/Schmevolution question.


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You gonna go trick or treating this year? No shit, Sherlock.


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Candice Michelle, wrestling diva and the godaddy.com babe, will pose for Hef! Loyal readers know that she has appeared nude in an episode of "Hotel Erotica."


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Other Tarantino Crap: Man Uses Samurai Sword To Rob Restaurant Patrons


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Alaska zoo gets elephant treadmill. There are only two of the mammoth appliances in existence, with the other being in Kirstie Alley's house.


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The Rocket wins one for his mom.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clemens is the best pitcher most of us will see in our lifetimes. 340 wins. That's incredible.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clemens is the best pitcher most of us will see in our lifetimes. 340 wins. That's incredible.

 

Headline of the day: Missing dolphins spotted in sea. I guess Sean Penn can stop searching the desert.


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Nostalgia: retroCRUSH looks at "selling cards for Captain O"


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Andruw Jones hits the 50 homer milestone for the year, and also reaches 300 for his career. In the entire history of the Boston/Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves, no player had ever reached 50 homers in a season. Mathews and Aaron held the record jointly, each having reached 47 in his best year.


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URL says it all, but deceptively: NICE-TITS.org


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U.S. gang leaders report that skyrocketing fuel costs are crippling their ability to administer 'drive-by' shootings.


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Disney Delays Opening of Baghdad Theme Park


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"Existence Of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush" ...
Would Have Rescued Them If He Had Known They Were There, He Claims


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You know what this weekend is, doncha kids? Nudestock. Sorry to say you're too late to get admitted.


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Astro Pic '' the Day - What the hell does a comet look like? Even though it's just a tiny rock floating through space, it has some fairly large impact craters. If you think about the mathematical likelihood of a collision out there, you'll realize it's been around a long, long time.


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Oscar Winning Director Robert Wise Dies, aged 91 ... "Robert Wise, who won four Oscars as producer and director of the classic 1960s musicals 'West Side Story' and 'The Sound of Music' ..."


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Coming Soon has an exclusive clip from The Thing About My Folks


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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be planning a wedding at George Clooney's Italian villa.


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