Tuesday, September 20, 2005

"The RIAA has been pushing the FCC to impose a copy-protection mandate on the makers of next-generation digital radio receiver/recorders"


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2005 NFL Cheerleader Tour - Day : Dallas Cowboys



Baseball, football, hot dogs, apple pie, Chevrolet ... and The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. A friend of mine lives overseas in a third world country. When he once asked a local if they knew anything about American football, one person said, "Dallas Cowboys." Another person next to him smiled and said, "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders." This squad had truly defined what cheerleading is today in the NFL. One look at the history page and a smile will cross your face when you remember the Love Boat appearances, as well as the classic made-for-TV movies. I give you America's Sweethearts...the
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

We saw them cheer their team to a heart breaking loss last night to Washington. Still, they looked fabulous in the most famous cheerleading outfits in the world. World Class cheerleaders need a world class web site, and boy, do they have it. I have already made mention of the history page, but there is much more: a swimsuit calendar (with lots of pictures), a celebrity scrapbook, a page on their show group, and a nod to their sister team, the Dallas Desperados of the Arena League. I do enjoy the team photo and the bios (click on your favorite lady to learn about her), although the bios only include one picture. I wish there were more. The only major fault I can find with this squad and their site is the cheerleaders themselves. The ladies are stunning, but I thought the ladies of Philadelphia, Washington, and Tampa had a slight edge on them, and even their sister Arena League team gives them a run for their money. This is still an incredible group, but just a few big hitters away from reclaiming the title.



Ranking 9.0 out of 10.



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Much to the general disgust of its agents, the FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. "I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent.


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MadTV wonders how Kenny Rogers would do on "Jackass." Bizarre concept, outrageous execution. Completely stupid, but I found myself laughing against my will!


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"Dutch police and park rangers have admitted they are powerless to stop a growing trend of outdoor sex orgies." Eric Droogh, who is director at the Veluwe National Park, said: "A national debate on wild sex parties in the countryside is essential." The head of one of Holland's biggest national parks says the problem is getting worse and has called for the government to make clear guidelines on outdoor sex orgies.
  • You want guidelines? Here's my clear guidelines. It's OK if it involves naked hot chicks, especially celebrity lesbian orgies or women having sex with octopuses. If it involves any flabby guys in black socks, fatties, or ugly-bugly chicks, make 'em cover that shit unless they are having sex with hot chicks, unlikely though that might be. That is all.
  • I would like to add, however, that the USA should also have a national debate on wild sex parties in the countryside.



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Conan shares some exclusive satellite television programming from the giant NBC satellite dish.


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This is a real news story, not a satire. Governor Jeb Bush becomes the highest-ranking government official since Gerald Ford to have an imaginary friend. In all fairness, though, it turns out that while Ford claimed his friend was imaginary, he actually turned out to be real. In fact, it was former baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn. Therefore, I think we can give Jeb the top spot.


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Feds' FOIA papers reveal an eye for gossip. Sinatra, Liberace, Walt Disney and Warhol among those with FBI files


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"Beedogs.com is the premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes."


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Yankees sign Donald Trump for the stretch drive. He's got some wicked form!


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CHENEY TO SPEND ENTIRE MONTH ABOVE GROUND ... Will Expose Himself to Sunlight to Boost White House Approval Ratings.
  • According to one of the vice president’s aides, Mr. Cheney’s decision to climb out of his subterranean hideout for the entire month of October would mean his longest visit to the Earth’s surface since 2001.


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VH1's Eclectic Cast For The Brand New Season Of The Surreal Life. SHERMAN HEMSLEY, TAWNY KITAEN, FLORENCE HENDERSON. Still no sign of Potsie.


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Jon Stewart's slightly censored Emmy speech about the handling of Hurrican Katrina.


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The first trailer for the new version of The Producers


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SCIENTISTS REVEAL LAWYERS & LEECHES HAVE IDENTICAL DNA"


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Some odd stuff.Monty Python's "Black Knight" sketch, as re-enacted by Star Wars Lego characters!


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Everything you would ever possibly care to know about the etymology of the word "cunt"


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The teaser, trailer, and two scenes, from Dear Wendy,a typically strange Lars van Trier script, directed by Thomas Vinterberg. The flick features a topless scene from Alison Pill.
  • "'Dear Wendy' is a story about the young loner Dick who lives in the poor mining town of Estherslope. When he happens upon a small handgun one day, he finds himself strangely drawn to it, despite his fervent pacifist views. Together with his newfound partner he soon convinces the other young outcasts in the town to join him in a secret club he calls The Dandies. A club based on the principals of pacifism and guns. Despite their firm belief in the most important Dandy rule of all - never draw your weapons - they soon find themselves in a predicament where they realize that rules are made to be broken."


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The trailer for a Thai film, The Overture
  • "The Overture' is inspired by the life of musician Luang Pradit Pairoh, whose mastery at playing an instrument called the ranard-ek (sort of like a wooden xylophone) made him a legend in the world of classical Thai music."


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The trailer and four clips from Unknown White Male, a documentary.
  • "A young man with a British accent turns up one rainy day in Coney Island, frightened and alone, with no clue to his identity. The process of re-establishing his family ties and life story forms a fascinating portrait of a man who, as far as he knows, doesn’t have a past."


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Five clips from A History of Violence, David Cronenberg's latest


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The trailer for Dirty Love (Jenny McCarthy's comedy.)


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A seven minute sneak peek of Flightplan (The Jodie Foster airplane thriller.)


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WTF?? Katrina, The Drink? "Get Blown Away." Very tasteful.


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This week's movies: Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - 84% positive reviews. Tim has become a critic's darling, and not without reason!


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This week's movies: Flightplan - 33% positive reviews. Sample:
  • "When the truth does finally come out, it’s so laughably improbable that it destroys any sense of decorum the movie might have left. Add to that a completely ludicrous finale, and you’ve got a movie that might’ve looked good on paper but utterly fails in execution. It isn’t the worst flick you’ll ever see, just drab, dull, and pointless."


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whenever I see a review that says "You could say that...", I add in my head just after it "Yes, you could say that, but you'd be lying."

 

This week's movies: Roll Bounce - only three reviews on file. They all say the same thing - essentially that the film succeeds in its own modest, cheesy way.


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The Weekend Warrior makes his predictions for the upcoming weekend. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride goes into 3000 theaters, and is expected to take the #1 spot. Another new film, Jodie Foster in Flightplan, heads for 3400 screens, and is expected to finish a strong second. Roll Bounce, the roller disco movie, will be on 1700 screens, and is expected to slip into fifth place.


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`Fat Actress' Kirstie Alley Loses 50 Lbs and her show! ... "'I think (they) have great concerns about me not being fat."


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"ET has learned that lovebirds JERRY O'CONNELL and model-turned-actress REBECCA ROMIJN are engaged"


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The soundtrack for Elizabethtown


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GALLUP: Bush Ratings Reach Low Points of Presidency


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retroCRUSH looks at the worst Halloween costumes ever. I kinda like the Father Murphy costume. I think you could wear it and claim to be Torgo!


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Simon Wiesenthal, holocaust survivor turned Nazi hunter, dies at 96. There are not many of the WW2 generation left. The war ended 60 years ago.


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"Acting angry is not hard," said Geraldo. "Crying on camera really is. But I have my own technique. When I say 'Can you get a shot of that dead body over there' and the camera pans away, I rub pepper in my eyes."


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not very funny. These articles are a poor substitute for The Onion.

 

ZELLWEGER SAYS CHESNEY LIED ABOUT SADDAM'S WMDs ... Phony Weapons Claims at Heart of Celebrity "Fraud" Annulment


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I-Mockery.com - The Greatest Horror Movie Moment!


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Here is a bigger, better picture of that Lohan nipple-slip.


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Make your plans to attend the end of the world on June 1, 2014 at 9:15 A.M. BYOB.


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