Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The trailer for Separate Lies, an Oscar hopeful starring Tom Wilkinson and Emily Watson


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Another Ted Nugent reality show.


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The solution to the hurricane naming problem: "METEOROLOGISTS TO GIVE STORMS FIRST AND LAST NAMES"


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Blogger Scaramouche said...

I say name them after famous tranvestites. For instance, Hurricane Ru Paul...

 

Letterman's Top Ten George W. Bush Tax-Saving Tips


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Here is the entire first episode of Everybody Hates Chris


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PAT ROBERTSON CORRECTS DATELINE HOLLYWOOD ARTICLE. Televangelist says DeGeneres's homosexuality will cause earthquake, not hurricane


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Kudrow says cancellation of The Comeback is actually a part of show's plot (Note: Dateline Hollywood is a satire site)


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TELETHON TO RAISE MONEY FOR CELEBRITIES WHO NEED MORE CASH TO DONATE TO HURRICANE VICTIMS


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The Daily Show's Rita Digest - "As it turns out, Hurricane Rita was the Ghostbusters II of hurricanes."


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"Dr. Irwin Redlener and Jon Stewart talk about the state of our country's disaster preparedness."


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The Daily Show looks at some of the reporters working hard to make hurricane stories completely about themselves.


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The Daily Show's Senior Hurricane Analyst Ed Helms takes to the streets to help the needy.


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The Daily Show's Steven Colbert does This Week in God


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Late Night with Conan O'Brien - last week's quotables
  • "In a recent interview, Martha Stewart says she didn't get into any fist fights in prison. Martha says she preferred to kick people to death"
  • "Yesterday, President Bush made his fifth visit to the area that received the most damage form Hurricane Katrina - the White House."
  • "In France, a man is in trouble because he lived with his dead mother for 5 years so he could keep collecting her pension. In a related story, this morning police arrested Melissa Rivers for the same thing."



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Conan the Late Night Barbarian gives some back-to-school tips.


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This week's movies - 800 screens: Oliver Twist - 53% positive reviews. The reviews can be summed up in one word - (Cue JoAnn Worley) - "BORRRRRRRRRRING!"
  • "A work of craft that could be flying the Masterpiece Theatre banner. You know, an earnestly worthy adaptation of a literary classic, as faithful and polished as it is ponderous and unprovocative."
  • "acceptable yet thoroughly uninspiring"
  • "A version of Oliver that's so safe, it's pretty much a case of baby-sitting.
  • "probably the most faithful adaptation. But hardly anyone will take notice; it's just a tale that's been told too many times before."


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This week's movies - 1000 screens: The Greatest Game Ever Played - 80% positive reviews.


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This week's movies - 1200 screens: A History of Violence - 83% positive reviews. There are really no reviews which are very negative. The "rotten" reviews say things like "gripping, intense experience" and "always engaging"


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This week's movies - 2300 screens: Serenity - 67% good reviews (but that's based on only six reviews.)


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This week's movies - 2700 screens: Into the Blue - No good reviews. Hey, I got your good review right here. (Grabs crotch.) Jessical Alba in a bikini for the entire movie. Now review dis! (Grabs crotch.)


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The Weekend Warrior makes his predictions for the upcoming weekend.
  • Warrior thinks that Serenity, the epic space adventure from Buffy's Joss Whedon, will take over at #1 despite being limited to 2300 screens.
  • Into the Blue, the eye candy underwater adventure with Paul Walker and Jessica Alba should slip in to #3, or possibly #4 (it's a virtual tie), with a presence on 2700 screens.
  • David Cronenberg's A History of Violence is expected to finish a respectable #7 despite being in only 1200 theaters.
  • The Greatest Game Ever Played, the Disney golf film, is way down there at #9, although its revenues come from only 1000 screens. This movie must not have tested that well if it comes from Disney and is getting such a limited release.


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The biggest star in post-Taliban Afghanistan? Mr Bean. Just a few years ago, the Taliban banned all entertainment, and instituted systematic repression and public executions. Now they have Mr Bean. Many Afghanis long for the good old days.


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BUSH PRAISES SWIFTNESS OF HURRICANE RITA PHOTO-OPS ... But Says Government Must Create Impression of Concern Even Faster in Future


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iowahawk: Little Pink Footballs
  • "University of Iowa law prof Erin Buzuvis posts a stirring cri de couer to protest the shockingly pink visitors' locker rooms at Iowa's Kinnick Stadium. My network of Iowa City researchers located her first draft in a dumpster behind Dirty John's."


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the way Iowa played against Ohio State this past weekend, maybe Iowa's home locker room should be pink.

 

Borowitz: DESPERATE FOR AIRTIME, BIN LADEN STARTS COVERING HURRICANES ... Madman Turns Weatherman to Get on TV


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Court forces RIAA to dismiss case against mother & child .
  • "While the case was dismissed, the mother had to pay legal fees as the Judge refused to award her attorneys fees. The reason is that the plaintiffs' lawyers had taken the appropriate steps in trying to prosecute the mother and that the mother used tactics to obstruct the Plaintiff to efficiently prosecute her."


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The army's killer dolphins let loose by Katrina. So far, their only opposition has been frickin' sharks with laser beams. (NOTE: The Guardian and Observer look sorta like real newspapers, but often use fact-checkers rejected by Weekly World News. These are the same guys who printed the Presidential I.Q hoax, and claimed that the pentagon was predicting and planning for global warming.)


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