Wednesday, October 05, 2005

An early ultrasound shows Katie Holmes is pregnant with a tiny PR rep


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Blogger Snakoe said...

Im sorry,But Tom Crusie CANT have children he's STERYL DUHHH!

 

BoSox lose a squeaker, have their backs against the wall. If they can't win three in a row, it's the start of a new curse.


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Hudson wasn't sharp. The Astros laid a ten spot on the Braves. The Braves, facing the best pitching staff in the majors, are facing an uphill struggle. Roger Clemens is next.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't wait for tonights game. Clemens vs Smoltz. If you want to see a great matchup of two future hall of fame pitchers, this is it.

 

David Strathairn discusses playing Edward R Murrow


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"My source tells me that the scuttlebutt around town is that the White House knows something bad is coming, in terms of Karl getting indicted, and they're already trying to distance him from the president."


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Anonymous sparks said...

Of course, for all we know, he's the same source behind the Illuminati-created-Katrina story.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

About frickin' time.

There's also talk of Cheney and/or Bush being named as unindicted coconspirators.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

in your dreams!

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup. But sometimes dreams come true. Like that time I dreamed of a fifty poung red parakeet who blew fire out of its ears and the next day I saw one fly over the interstate. Weird.

 

Art Linkletter spars with property owner.. I'm impressed that Art is still involved in zoning hearings. I had no idea he was still alive. He turned 93 in July!!


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Officials say that paparazzi were not a factor in the Lindsay Lohan car crash.


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Kanye West Saturday Night Live Reunion with Mike Myers


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VIDEO: Janet Jackson's Nude Sunbathing


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is a link to a downloadable version of the video (the ifilm one isn't): http://rapidshare.de/files/5926342/Janet_Jackson_Sunbathing.mov

 

Nick and Jessica Deny Breakup


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PYTHON VS. GATOR EVERGLADES GUTBUSTER DEATH MATCH UPDATE with hi-res picture


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two damn good reasons to stay out of the fucking swamp.

 

The teaser trailer for Yesterday Was a Lie
  • "Hoyle -- a girl with a sharp mind and a weakness for bourbon -- is investigating introverted artist/archaeologist John Dudas. But her work takes an unforeseen twist as she begins to experience events around her in a mysterious, disjointed manner. With the assistance of her loyal partner and a cute young lounge singer, Hoyle uncovers a plot to unravel earth-shattering cosmological secrets, smuggled out of 1930s Germany by a Nazi defector. But when Hoyle's deeper relationship with Dudas is revealed, she learns that the most potent forces of all -- human love, human pain -- cannot be grasped by science alone."


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Anonymous Angelus-12 said...

holy toledo that looks hot
where'd you find that?

 

Four clips from The Greatest Game Ever Played


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Letterman's "Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Buying The Meat-Normous Sandwich"


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Letterman's Top 10 Signs Your Supreme Court Pick Isn't Qualified


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Katie Holmes is pregnant . I guess she's not a virgin any more, unless - wait ... Oh, God. Black masses use crosses, except upside down. Will the Antichrist be a virgin birth, to mock Jesus? Shit, this could be bad.


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2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 18: Minnesota Vikings

With the 2005 NFL season already one quarter of the way completed, the Minnesota Vikings have to be one of the league's most baffling stories. The Vikes were considered by many to be contenders for the NFL crown. Instead they have only racked up one victory in the NFL worst division. The team is swirling in troubles, with rumors of firing head coach Mike Tice, and an ailing QB in Daunte Culpepper.

The Minnesota Viking Cheerleaders appear to be following in the footsteps of their on field counterparts. The home page for the cheerleaders is distracted by a picture of Vikings center Matt Birk. Birk is looming over the right side of the screen looking as if he will pounce on a cheerleader at any moment. Ironic thing is, Birk is out for the season, and isn't even listed on the Vikings roster. Bottom line is this...this site doesn't scream "Cheerleaders Here!" (I even found out that the Vikes are getting a new stadium on this page...why is this information here?) The roster page has individual photos leading to bios, and one picture of a swimsuit calendar. I couldn't find any more pictures of the calendar, but that was alright by me. After going through the bios (all with only one picture of each girl) I determined that only Katie, Niki, and Alli were worth looking at in swimsuits. There is evidence that these girls make appearances, but I have no idea where they are, what they are doing, or which cheerleaders attended the event. You also have no idea where they may be in the future, for they do not list any upcoming appearances. The one saving grace for this site is the Alumni section. Check out photos, uniforms, and cheerleaders from days gone by. This site, the cheerleaders, and the team all seem to be on the same course this year. Going nowhere fast.

Rating 5.5 out of 10.


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Daily Show: "The Bush administration says the ice cap is not melting. Rather, the water has been liberated."


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The White House spokespeople do their best to reassure the right about Harriet Miers. In code.


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The Daily Show: "Nate Corddry gets lessons on geography, names and being a sailor, in a story about a big boat and the city of San Francisco."


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At this moment, it seems he can do no wrong, but even for Peter Jackson, a video game movie that doesn't suck is a tall order.


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Evangeline Lilly in a green bikini


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Photo Gallery - Movers And Shakers - 33 NFL and college cheerleaders


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Nic Cage names his son Kal-el


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Yet another new nickel - with Jefferson facing forward and smiling. The next one features him firing up some chronic.


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NHL drops the puck for the first time since ... what? 1974? Is Rocket Richard still playin'?


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"Hurricane Rita inflicted substantially more damage to offshore oil and gas facilities in the Gulf of Mexico than Katrina"


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"After enduring a year of rumors that their marriage was in trouble, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have really split." But - and this is the key point - they still insist that the rumors were untrue.


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The Roman Catholic Church has instructed the faithful that "some parts of the Bible are not actually true ... like that whole wacky New Testament. In fact, we're actually still Jewish. Who would have guessed? It's fakokta."


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Emperor Palpatine leading Harriet Miers look-alike contest. "Madam" and Zell Meller are also in the running.


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Many of you have written in to say, "nice page, Scoop, but you need more gosh-darn capital letters." We aim to please. PRESIDENT NOMINATES TOKEN VULVA-EQUIPPED JUDICIAL HOBBYIST HARRIET MIERS AS ASSOCIATE CRONY OF THE U.S. SUPREME COURT (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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Scientists find: Only earthlings worship God. The rest of the universe worships Oprah.


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Dedicated fans of "Lost" view episodes multiple times.
  • Hey, I can relate. I still have, stored in memory, all the songs from Popeye cartoons. "Oh, I don't care whose brother you love ..."
  • Of course, I was six at the time that I re-watched all those episodes of Popeye and The Three Stooges.


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Conan O'Brien's latest edition of "If They Mated"


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"Emilio Estevez has added Sharon Stone and Elijah Wood to the high-wattage cast for 'Bobby,' his passion project about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, which he will write and direct."

There is a special emotional connection between Bobby Kennedy and Emilio Estevez.

  • Emilio's dad (Martin Sheen) played Bobby in The Missles of October.
  • Martin Sheen also played John Kennedy in a TV mini-series.
  • Like Bobby Kennedy, Emilio Estevez has a perpetually hammered brother, and a brother who really likes poontang. Of course, in Bobby's case it was two different brothers.


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Any Bonds Today?. Bugs Bunny takes time out from his usual zany WW2 antics (making racist fun of Japanese people) to do something completely different (making racist fun of black people)! Vintage Americana look at "the way we were," which is to say "the way we didn't have enough sense to avoid being."


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Anonymous Aaron said...

I'll agree that Bugs Bunny wasn't always necessarily politically correct and that our country could certainly be ashamed of itself for past transgressions. However, Mel Blanc was mimicking Al Jolson from "The Jazz Singer". Al Jolson originally did the black face. Bugs is innocent to the extent that he was simply duplicating what had been in real life.

 

Some French dudes seem to have scored a King Kong poster. Or not. But it looks cool.


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Bush Explains Magic Suit Criteria In Supreme Court Choice


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North Korea Offers Delay Political Asylum ... 'Hammer' Will Fit Right In, Says Kim Jong Il


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From Dave Barry: Python tries to swallow Gator in Glades creature clash. Don't miss the picture.


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Conan O'Brien and John McEnroe look far into the distant future - all the way to the year 2000.
  • "President Bush finally throws himself into helping with the hurricane aftermath when he's assured aftermath doesn't involve actual math."
  • "Paris Hilton will be featured in 'U.S. News and World Report' when it's revealed that, after the University of Texas, she has the greatest number of incoming freshmen."
  • "Michael Jackson will give back the entire Beatles song catalog when he realizes that it's over 11 years old."
  • "The Vatican will maintain its official ban on gay priests, but will, as a conciliatory gesture, allow bayberry-scented candles during mass."



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Four featurettes about "Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story," aka "Seabiscuit II"


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"Conan to Turn Entire Show Over to U2 "
  • I'm not sure that's what the headline writer meant. I think he meant "Conan to devote one entire show to U2," unless Bono is planning to do all of Conan's schtick from now on!
  • This headline writer did better than CNN, which wrote "Conan giving show to U2," which made me picture Bono sitting quietly while Conan does hand shadows.
  • This brings me to a pet gripe. Why do some people write internet headlines in condensed form with the artificial present tense ("Dog bites man") instead of in normal English ("A dog bit a Kingston man on High Street yesterday")? The standard headline format was designed because newspapers have a limited amount of space in both dimensions - but there is no need to apply that convention to the internet (except for humor, as Andy Borowitz does). Web pages don't run out of room! In this Conan/U2 case, artificially dropping the article changed the meaning of the headline. If he had just typed "Conan to Turn An Entire Show Over to U2," it would have communicated his message, but he dropped the article to conform to a newspaper convention, even though he was not writing for a newspaper, but for a radically different medium which requires different conventions.
  • I would prefer "Conan WILL Turn AN Entire Show Over to U2." Complete sentence. Correct verb tense. And while we're at it, capital letters in the middle of a sentence are for dinosaurs and Germans. Why not a nice, simple, "Conan will turn an entire show over to U2"?
  • Since headline format is, by its very nature, ungrammatical and ambiguous ("New Zealand finds Black Cocks hard to swallow"), I suggest dropping that convention faster than President Bush dropped Advanced Calculus at Yale.


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Mussina has enough to best the Angels' ace, stake Yanks to 1-0 edge.


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"Actress Lindsey Lohan has been involved in a traffic crash in West Hollywood."


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