Thursday, October 06, 2005

A 2006 Calendar without any of those annoying days or months.


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The adventures of Edward The Less. This is to Lord of the Rings as Python's Grail is to Morte D'Artur, more or less. Mostly less.


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The Rocket doesn't have it, and the Braves even it up. Smoltz is best-ever 15-4 lifetime in post-season, even though this was his first October start since 1999.


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Keira Knightley doing a lapdance in Domino.


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Bush claimed God told him to invade Iraq. Based on the picture, God must have a very soft voice. In fact, Bush is confused because the voice of God sounds an awful lot like ... Dick Cheney. (He was expecting Charlton Heston.)


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George Bush gives ... oh ... New Orleans residents ... the one-fingered victory salute.


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Weekly World News: LESBIAN MOM WANTS TO GIVE BABY BOY SEX CHANGE


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Slashdot has a thread on the attempt to wrest control of the internet from the USA - it has prompted more than 1700 comments (so far)


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Yet another guy is supposed to be the "real" Shakespeare


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Anonymous Pistacchio said...

"The fact that Mark Rylance, artistic director of Shakespeare's Globe theater, has written the forward to the new book published by Longman has added weight to its authenticity."
I prefer to read it like this: "The fact that Mark Rylance, the guy who got a real blowjob in the film "Intimacy", has written the forward to the new book has added weight to its authenticity."

 


Blogger Uncle Scoopy said...

++++
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+
You know, I started to write almost the same thing by changing the real quote to:

"Porno star Mark Rylance has written the forward to the new book published by Longman, thus adding stiff support for the theory."


But then I figured not that many people realize that Rylance is the guy getting the BJ from Kerry Fox, or even know about Intimacy at all.
+
++
+++
++++

 

As it says on our billboards: Austin, Texas - birthplace of the panty raid.


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The third grade insult generator. Using this is like being a character in an Adam Sandler movie. In fact - it's a lot like being Sandler.


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The trailer for In a Dark Place, an indie mystery.
  • A poisoned man and a stranger stumble across a doorway in an abandoned building that makes things disappear... When the stranger walks through and vanishes, the poisoned man is left alone to face an angered man with a crazy disposition. But what's waiting for him through the door is much more dangerous than he'd care to realize.


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The trailer and the first 8 minutes of The War Within
  • "Written and directed by first time filmmaker Joseph Castelo, "The War Within" is the story of Hassan, (Ayad Akhtar in his debut performance), a Pakistani engineering student in Paris who is mistakenly apprehended for terrorist activities and forcibly interrogated by U.S. intelligence services. So shaken by the experience, he vows revenge and joins a terrorist cell based in New York City with plans to begin the ground war in the United States. On the morning the attack is due to take place, all members of the cell are arrested except Hassan and one other member. With no alternative and nowhere else to turn, Hassan must rely on the hospitality of his former best friend Sayeed, who is living the American dream with his family in New Jersey. Lying to his friend about why he is in the US, Sayeed helps Hassan get a job driving a livery cab which furnishes Hassan with the money he needs to start manufacturing explosives in the hope of achieving a smaller but still effective act of terror. With each day that passes, we witness Hassan's religious beliefs as they clash headlong with his feelings for Sayeed's sister Duri, Sayeed, and the rest of the family. What unfolds is a profound human and political drama as we explore Hassan's motives as he struggles to carry out his mission."


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The trailer from the new Jason Biggs movie, Guy X
  • Rudy Spruance is lost. He has been left in the middle of nowhere in the frozen wastes of the arctic. No one comes except a huge swarm of mosquitoes. As he awakens later in an Army hospital that doesn't officially exist, Rudy understand what it is to be on the sharp end of a 'small clerical error'. "You'll want to scratch," a nurse tells him helpfully when he comes round.

    Rudy enlisted in order to escape a little prison time for burglary. His fellow soldiers are a rag-tag bunch of misfits. There's Lavone, a wannabe beat-poet, the sadistic Sergeant Genteen, and Petri, the base dealer who thinks sci-fi movies are the pinnacle of art. And there's the base's commanding officer, Colonel Woolwrap, who sees in Rudy a younger version of himself. Only problem is, Rudy isn't too comfortable under his, or anyone's, tutelage. But then Rudy meets Sergeant Irene Teale - beautiful, intelligent and most importantly, sane.

    Unfortunately, she's the Colonel's girlfriend.

    As Rudy pursues Irene, he uncovers the secret of The Wing: a hospice for American casualties from a reckless mission in the Vietnam war. Woolwrap has been sitting in Qangattarsa waiting for the last of the men to pass away. Meanwhile, the 'patients' remain unconscious, vegetative, erased as the men they one were...

    Except for Guy X.



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The trailer from Jarhead
  • "'Jarhead' (the self-imposed moniker of the Marines) follows 'Swoff' (Jake Gyllenhaal), a third-generation enlistee, from a sobering stint in boot camp to active duty, sporting a sniper's rifle and a hundred-pound ruck on his back through Middle East deserts with no cover from intolerable heat or from Iraqi soldiers, always potentially just over the next horizon. Swoff and his fellow Marines sustain themselves with sardonic humanity and wicked comedy on blazing desert fields in a country they don't understand against an enemy they can't see for a cause they don't fully fathom.

    Jamie Foxx portrays Sergeant Sykes, a Marine lifer who heads up Swofford's scout/sniper platoon, while Sarsgaard is Swoff's friend and mentor, Troy, a die-hard member of STA-their elite Marine Unit.

    An irreverent and true account of a war that was antiseptically packaged a decade ago, 'Jarhead' is laced with dark wit, honest inquisition and episodes that are at once surreal and poignant, tragic and absurd."


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Twelve (!!) clips from North Country
  • "'North Country' stars Academy Award winners Charlize Theron ('Monster'), Frances McDormand ('Fargo') and Sissy Spacek ('In the Bedroom') in the inspiring story of a single mother who rallies her coworkers to rise above the unfair treatment they face at a local mining company."


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2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 19: San Francisco 49ers

This once-proud franchise has fallen on hard times. They have gone from multiple Super Bowl victories and the moniker "Team of the 90's" to a franchise that is looking at its second straight overall number one draft selection. Look for the current NFL top pick, Alex Smith, to start this Sunday against the Indianapolis Colts. Welcome to the NFL Mr. Smith.

My brother lives in the Bay Area. I went to see the 9ers play the Panthers in 1997 at then Candlestick Park (or wait, maybe 3 Com). He told me that everyone knew that the 9ers cheerleaders played second fiddle to the local hotties, the Raiderettes. Well, the Gold Rush is full of beautiful ladies, but ten years did not change his statement. Alexis, Janelle, and Kristin lead a bevy of head turners on this squad. It is too bad that this intro page is also where the site ends. It seems odd that an area so renowned for technology would have such a weak web site. None of the standard extras are found here, just bios of the girls and a brief history section. It is too bad because this team could have received a much higher rating that the one that they received.

Rating 6.5 out of 10.


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URL says it all, but subtly: lhiob.com (Let's hug it out, bitch.)


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Kevin Smith's video journal about making Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks


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The Daily Show: A look at what finally got Miller to testify: a letter from the cutely-named Scooter Libby.


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The Daily Show: China's empire is growing, and not just from the ground-up rhino penis they add to many of their meals.


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The Daily Show's Senior White House Correspondent Rob Corddry explains Plamegate in twelve rhyming words.


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Senator John Edwards tells Jon Stewart how that whole wacky running for the vice presidency thing worked out.


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This week's movies, late entry (only 11 theaters)Good Night, And Good Luck - 96% positive reviews. I believe that Clooney's movie, at least for the moment, is the only major non-documentary rated higher than 95% on the Tomatometer, which seems to indicate that it could be a serious Oscar contender.


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You say you're rich? You need a Christmas gift for a friend who is very gay? How about a private Elton John concert? Only 1.5 million clams.. I didn't make that up, nor did I fabricate the fact that you will get to keep an official Elton John piano as a souvenir!


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Bush Is Drinking Again"
  • ... ". "He's been pronouncing words correctly"


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Your Doctor Wants To Have Sex With You"


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Conan O'Brien's Celebrity Survey
  • Some of his best ones ever. For example, how did celebrities complete this sentence "in addition to being my lover, my wife is also my ..."
    • Tom Hanks ... "best friend"
    • Joe Lieberman ... "confidante"
    • Ashton Kutcher ... "grandmother's bridge partner"


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Conan O'Brien's new commemorative stamps.


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"Tom Cruise Waging War Against Satire" Oh, sure, you think satire is OK, but you're glib, and don't know the history of satire.


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Another silly trailer, this one for Psycho, the romantic comedy.


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Another zany trailer: this one from Titanic, the horror film


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The Daily Show: "After 85 days in prison Judith Miller was eager to get home and spend some time...with Lou Dobbs."


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Ever suffer from or heard of Spontaneous Announcement Syndrome?


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"Hillside Strangler" with Brittany Daniel gets a DVD release date


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Angels beat Yanks, tie the series 1-1


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Talk about a tough nut to crack. A start-up company introduces Flock, the new browser on the block


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A preview of the new BBC content-sharing system


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A downloadable version of the Janet Jackson sunbathing video


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The trailer for Syriana
  • "From writer/director Stephen Gaghan, winner of the Best Screenplay Academy Award for "Traffic," comes "Syriana," a political thriller that unfolds against the intrigue of the global oil industry. From the players brokering back-room deals in Washington to the men toiling in the oil fields of the Persian Gulf, the film's multiple storylines weave together to illuminate the human consequences of the fierce pursuit of wealth and power. As a career CIA operative (George Clooney) begins to uncover the disturbing truth about the work he has devoted his life to, an up-and-coming oil broker (Matt Damon) faces an unimaginable family tragedy and finds redemption in his partnership with an idealistic Gulf prince (Alexander Siddig). A corporate lawyer (Jeffrey Wright) faces a moral dilemma as he finesses the questionable merger of two powerful U.S. oil companies, while across the globe, a disenfranchised Pakistani teenager (Mazhar Munir) falls prey to the recruiting efforts of a charismatic cleric. Each plays their small part in the vast and complex system that powers the industry, unaware of the explosive impact their lives will have upon the world."


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John Lennon's greatest album? The one with the stamps pasted in it.


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