Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Mise a nu. Great site. Move your cursor over any girl for a nice surprise.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget to click too!

 

What the hell is Rosicrucianism?


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A Bond betting favorite has emerged, but the identity of the next 007 officially remains a mystery.
  • "Just days ahead of an expected official announcement, Englishman Daniel Craig was named as the first 'blond Bond' in an unsourced newspaper report, while British bookmaker William Hill closed betting on Bond after punters rushed to back him."
  • I'm still hoping for Clint Howard.


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Blogger Mr. Breese said...

Wow, and I thought Lazenby was bad...

 

General Zod - 2008 Presidential Candidate


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Did yoiu know that a new automated process allows labs to extract semen from four boars at a time?
  • I know the old ways are sometimes the best, but Pam Anderson could never do more than two.
  • You think you have a shitty job? This guy jerks off a pig all day. It's like being Jennifer Garner.


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Uncensored outtakes from Full House!


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David Lee Roth to Succeed Howard Stern


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Weekly World News: "ARCHAEOLOGIST FINDS LEPRECHAUN COLONY!"


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Letterman's "Top Ten Things Columbus Would Say About America If He Were Alive Today"
  • "I discovered the New World, but who discovered these delicious Cinnabons?"
  • "Hey, my fo'shizzle thing finally caught on"
  • "It's humbling to realize that because of me Americans are getting 20% off on a mattress"
  • "It's nice to see Cher is still around"
  • "As a fellow man of sea, I join you in mourning the death of 'Gilligan'"
  • "I discovered the whole fookin' continent and the only thing named after me is a city in Ohio?"



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Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about .. the District of Columbia? Letterman's writers need to do some homework.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

They also named that detective on TV after him...LT Columbo

 

A clip from The Family Stone.
  • "The comedy revolves around the annual holiday gathering of a Bohemian family that's thrown into turmoil when the fair-haired son introduces his fiancee, a high strung New York businesswoman whom the family hates."


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The Trailer for The Big White, the latest Robin Williams flick.
  • "In the film, a destitute Alaskan travel agent (Robin Williams) thinks he has found the answer to his financial problems in the form of a frozen body, which he tries to pass off as his long-lost brother for the insurance money. The agent's plans are thwarted by a claims adjuster (Giovanni Ribisi) and two aspiring hitmen (Earl Brown and Tim Blake Nelson)."


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This is the week when top-notch directors fell from grace. The reviewers call Where the Truth Lies the worst film from Atom Egoyan in many, many years, possibly the worst ever, and the links below lead to films which may be the lifetime worst from Cameron Crowe and Tony Scott.

This week's movies (NY,LA only): Where The Truth Lies - 29% positive reviews. If there is any bigger Atom Egoyan fan than I am, it would be the reviewer James Berardinelli, and even he had harsh words for this film, as cited below:

  • "Welcome to the lurid world of Atom Egoyan, B-grade schlock filmmaker. Until seeing Where the Truth Lies, I never would have considered applying this title to Egoyan, the eclectic filmmaker of some of the '90s most compelling features (Exotica and The Sweet Hereafter, to name a pair). But the evidence speaks for itself. Where the Truth Lies is a potboiler - a whodunnit/whydunnit filled to the brim with genre clichés. It's compelling in the way many B-movies are - cheap, sleazy, and lacking the depth we have come to associate with this director. The difference between a good potboiler and a bad one comes down to tone, and Egoyan chooses the wrong approach. Where the Truth Lies is slow and dreamy when it should be light and self-mocking. This is Brian De Palma material. The plotline is pure cheese down to the incessant voiceover and needlessly explicit exposition. To add proverbial insult to injury, not only is the movie poorly written, but it is at times boring."


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Anonymous kgb said...

I got harsh words for ya. Atom Egoyan is a dismal filmmaker who's derivative of the stuff he saw in film school. And "Family Viewing" is an outright embarrassment with horrible wooden actors. What a fraud.

 

This week's movies (2100 screens): Domino - 22% positive reviews.
  • "A noisy, ugly, chaotic mess ... One of the worst movies of 2005, and the worst film of Tony Scott's career."


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This week's movies (2500 screens): Elizabethtown - 50% positive reviews. The general consensus so far: a pale Frank Capra imitation. Sigh! I really like Cameron Crowe's best films, but this one seems to be out of the loop.
  • "Can a director survive 3 failures in a row? Elizabethtown is a pale imitation of zany Capra and Sturges screwballs, marred by Bloom's weak turn and overlong plotless text"
  • "Lacks the narrative drive one finds in the classic comedies of Preston Sturges, Frank Capra and Billy Wilder, whom Crowe always seems to try to emulate."


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This week's movies (2700 screens): The Fog - no advance reviews at all. Not one. Nada.


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The Weekend Warrior makes his predictions for October 14th. He thinks Elizabethtown, The Fog, and Domino will take spots 1-2-4, but expects no barn burner among them.


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"BUSH NAMES GUY HE MET AT MALL TO REPLACE GREENSPAN" ... Attempts to Blunt Charges of Cronyism
  • "Davis Logsdon, a political science professor at the University of Minnesota, has a theory about Mr. Bush’s recent appointments: “He may be surrounding himself with lousy people in the hopes that he’ll be graded on a curve.”


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Veteran Comic Louis Nye can now say "Hi Ho!" to Steverino again.


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2005 NFL Cheerleader Tour - Day 21: Arizona Cardinals

Hi, all. A cross country trip combined with a lot of tailgating, two football games, and the desert heat, made for a very tired guy yesterday. Still the weekend adventure was well worth it! A Panther comeback victory (which the Cards should have won), family, and friends were great. The women of Arizona? Oh my God! And that was just the women around town Friday night. The ASU coeds on Saturday, and the female Cardinal fans on Sunday ... Wow!

After the observations over the weekend, and reviews the squads from years gone by, I had high expectations for the Cardinal girls. Perhaps I set them a bit too high. The girls did look great in person, preformed well, and even had a uniform change at the half. But a closer look at the web site confirms what I saw. The girls are incredible, just not as incredible as those in Philly, Tampa, or San Diego (to name a few). Veterans and fan favorites Dawn, Adrianna, and Tiffany lead some fine rookies in 19 year old Nicole, Angie, and Jen. The bios are OK, I would like to see a few more pictures though. The photo galleries have a good series of photos from this season, and last season, but the cheerleaders are not always credited. It looks like an alumnus gathering may be in store, but no other appearances are mentioned. There are a few pictures of the show team that raised my eyebrows. I would like to see more of them. There is no mention of any audition photos, or of any kind of calendar. This team slipped a bit from last year. I hope they rebound in time for the new stadium to be opened next season.

Rating 8.0 out of 10.



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Hey! Is That Jessica Alba's Nipple? We ran these in the Fun House a few days ago, along with the film clip. They are really from the movie, and they are really Alba - but I have no idea what we are actually looking at!


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you stare hard enough, you might actually find Alba's talent somewhere.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you read the update on that story, it says that was a double in the film, not Alba, so might be a nipple, but not Alba's.

 

The Shitty Tipper Database has really gotten quite massive since the last time we checked it.


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Blogger Goose said...

Peyton Manning, 0 tip after a nearly $350 tab? Not the Peyton I've read about...

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Problem is, this site doesn't account for lousy or grouchy service. Sometimes even a small tip is generous.

 

Newslady makes a blooper: Unsurprisingly, your energy company has a plan to jack off. I can understand that. It produces energy ... but I'm not sure how they harness it.


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