Friday, October 14, 2005

Garland was in total control of the Angels, staking the ChiSox to a 2-1 edge.
  • Konerko provided all the necessary firepower. Uncharacteristically, he did it away from his home park. In the past two years he has 52 homers at home, only 29 on the road.
  • In 2003, Konerko hit .234 with 18 homers - weak numbers even for a shortstop, and enough to send a first baseman to AAA. The Sox stuck with him and since then he has posted back-to-back 40 homer seasons.


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"A VATICAN-recognised university is offering a course in exorcism and diabolic possession." When I get possessed, I hope my exorcist didn't get a "C" in that class.


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The World in a Glass: Six Drinks That Changed History


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Jessica Alba takes on the sexiest roles in movie history - in a magazine. Come to think of it, that requires her to look spectacular and doesn't necessitate any acting. I think she's found her niche.


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The Mirror says the new Bond is "boring, monosyllabic."


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"HUNDREDS of clubbers are descending on the UK's only nude disco every Saturday night." It's hard for me to imagine that a country which once ruled the civilized world now has only one nude disco. How the empire has fallen.


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The trailer for Eight Below
  • "Based on a National Geographic article, 'Eight Below' is the Disney story of two Antarctic explorers forced to leave their team of sled dogs behind as they fend for their survival in the brutal cold."


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Mary-Kate Olsen Leaving NYU


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NBC.com > Late Night with Conan O'Brien =- the latest quotables
  • "The latest political rumor is that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il is close to naming his successor. Kim says the only person with sunglasses big enough to replace him is Nicole Richie."
  • "President Bush defended his Supreme Court nominee, Harriet Miers, calling her 'plenty bright.' Not only that, the President also said that Miers has 'real purty hair.'"
  • "It's been reported that Leo Sternbach, the inventor of Valium, died this week. Not surprisingly, Sternbach's family is taking it very well."






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In celebration of Yom Kippur, the Shofar Player returns to Conan.


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Alexis Arquette will have a sex change, and will make the process into a documentary show for A&E. (He is the brother, soon to be sister, of Patricia, Rosanna, and David.)


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Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents the French Oedipal melodrama, Ma Mere


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Jeff Dowd has his own web page. You know him better as "The Dude" - the real-life slacker who provided the inspiration for The Big Lebowski.


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Where are they now? He-Man


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Cat got your tongue? We know the exact cat.


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2005 NFL Cheerleader Tour - Day 25: St. Louis Rams

OK, the sports fans of St. Louis may have some other things on their minds right now than cheerleaders. The Rams are taking on the best team in the NFL in Indianapolis on Sunday. The Blues have just defeated the Black Hawks for their first victory of the young NHL season. And the Cardinals are playing in some baseball game or something ... nobody is interested in that, right!

The St. Louis Rams Cheerleaders may have the best home page on the tour. A slide show of the cheerleaders advertising their swimsuit calendar sets the tone. The entire web site looks fantastic and is easy to navigate. I love the idea of wallpaper (you can only download one style), and the chance to buy past calendars and posters. The community section is always good, but pictures would make it complete. My biggest problem comes with the section on the girls themselves. They are beautiful. So beautiful they even make those terrible uniforms look good. Latasha, Beth, and Angeline (WOW) are just some of the stunners on this squad. But there are no bios. Did these girls cheer all of their lives, do they have a regular jobs, do they like ponies, dolphins, or rainbows? I wanna know! For all we know, Rams officials just went to down to the local Hooters and threw outfits on some hot chicks. With the time put into this web site, I am surprised that bios were not included on all cheerleaders.

Rating 8.0 out of 10.

We wrap up the 2005 tour on Monday. We may have saved the best for last!


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It's official: James Bond Gets a Makeover - As a Blond - for Casino Royale. Craig hopes to uphold the fine tradition of ... um ... George Lazenby. Seriously, I'm not as skeptical as some of you.
  • Craig has demonstrated that he is a good actor. Not just good - very good. I admire Gwyneth Paltrow, but when I reviewed Sylvia, I wrote, "And to tell you the truth, Paltrow was overshadowed by a charismatic performance by Daniel Craig as Ted Hughes, just as Sylvia Plath was overshadowed by the real Hughes."
  • Craig has also demonstrated that he can be a very cool dude. When I reviewed Layer Cake, I wrote, "It also has a very cool star, Daniel Craig, who can best be described as Steve McQueen with a different accent." Hey, you can't get much cooler than to be compared with Steve McQueen! When I reviewed Layer Cake I didn't even realize I was talking about the guy from Sylvia.
  • I just put those thoughts together and concluded that a guy who is a better actor than Gwyneth Paltrow and as cool as Steve McQueen may indeed be the right man to fill Bond's gimmicky shoes, although in his case they will have to be elevator shoes, unless the director hires very short villains. I say give the man a chance to strut his stuff. If he fucks up, THEN we can make (more) fun of him.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

They hired this guy because he was cheap! He's going to bomb and then they're going to ask Brosnan to come back for one more.

 


Blogger Uncle Scoopy said...

I wouldn't be surprised if you are right.

But I also would not be surprised if he turned out OK.

 

Where are they now? Rick Moranis. He's a C&W singer. SILLY C&W, like Jim Stafford.


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Zarqawi: I Hate My Boss. Weekend retreat with al-Qaeda.
  • "After lunch, the next round of stupidity: another one of those retarded 'team building' activities. These consultants divided us into color-coded teams, and gave us big bags of styrofoam cups and tongue depressors. The idea was that we were supposed to compete to build the highest cup tower. What the fuck this had to do with restoring the caliphate, I had no idea, but during the debrief the consultant finally said it was 'an exercise to help you discover cooperation strategies.' Oh brilliant. Maybe you could have told me that before I decapitated those three idiots on the Blue Team."


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WAL-MART SEX OIL SALES SKYROCKET ... (this is a story?)


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MovieJuice! reviews Serenity. Under the sarcasm, Mark Ramsey makes the point that the movie might have been a hit with some star power, but restricted its audience to Firefly geeks by employing a cast that had zero appeal to a mainstream moviegoer checking the paper for something to see.


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"KID SAVING UP FOR PLASTIC SURGERY -- TO LOOK LIKE BAT BOY!"


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"Cheney Defends Accidental Bombing Of Smurf Village."


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The trailer for Kids in America
  • "Kids In America is a reality-based dramedy about the experiences of young people in modern-day America. Set in the fictional Booker High School a diverse group of students are tired of seeing their freedoms taken away. They band together and change their world by empowering themselves and their community to protect freedoms of expression and speech."


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Tori Spelling's Husband Seeks Divorce . He's asking her for spousal support as well.


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"Jordan is having an operation to reduce her 32FF breasts." I'm sure whatever she chooses will be tasteful and elegant.


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You Have Too Many Kids"
  • "Any movie you take kids to instantly becomes number one film in the country"
  • "You're spending $7.3 million a year in allowance"
  • "Family wiffle ball game has larger attendance than Devil Rays games"



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