Tuesday, October 18, 2005

In case you missed the video of Charles Rocket saying "fuck" on SNL, here's another version.


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Breasts for Peace


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Actor Ashton Kutcher, the brand new husband of superstar Demi Moore who is 15 years his senior, is planning to make a television sitcom about life with an older woman. Kutcher is not afraid of offending Demi with the show's content since it will not be close-captioned for the hearing impaired.


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Anonymous Green Arrow said...

There was already a show like this back in 2000 it was called "Then Came You" staring Susan Floyd.

and then there's "Living with Fran"

 

Hugh Jackman too "fey" to play Bond, Ewan McGregor "too short", Colin Farrell "too sleazy" Outrageous lies! Well, except maybe for the Colin Farrell part.
  • Kidding aside, I'm having trouble believing that this memo is genuine. Ewan is 5'10.5". As I have written elsewhere, that also seems to be Daniel Craig's real height, although he claims 6". As for Hugh Jackman - well, fey means "possessing or displaying a strange and otherworldly aspect or quality; magical or fairylike; elfin." Frankly he doesn't seem all that ethereal or fairylike when he plays Wolverine, but what the hell do I know?


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The latest quotables from Late Night with Conan O'Brien
  • "A lost manuscript by the composer Ludwig van Beethoven has been discovered - and it's going to be sold for over one million dollars. When he heard that Beethoven had written a manuscript, President Bush said, 'That dog can do anything!'"
  • "Tonight on '20/20,' Barbara Walters interviewed the new King of Saudi Arabia about women's rights and Walters asked why the King doesn't let women drive cars. The King answered with two words: Lindsay Lohan."



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Stephen Colbert and Stone Phillips have a gravitas-off.


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The premiere of the Colbert Report: "Anyone can read the news to you. Stephen promises to feel the news at you."


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A sweet five minutes of stand-up from Pablo Francisco


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Vince Vaughn - Jennifer Aniston ... rumor central. Vince denies that they are romantically involved, because there's no romance at all. He's just tappin' that sweet ass like a fresh keg at a New Year's eve party.


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Brian Wilson's Christmas Album.
  • "A very hazy, drug-addled, kind of depressed Christmas"
  • All kidding aside, most of the cuts are awful, but you may get a kick out of Deck the Halls sung Beach Boys style!


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Favreau shows some taste and turns down a big paycheck from the producers of Elf II.
  • The more cynical Will Ferrell responded to their feelers by inviting them to come to his sacred throne with bejeweled offerings, sumptuous treasures, human sacrifices, dancing girls, gold, frankincense, and especially myrrh. The Hollywood rumor mill reports that Will has a $200-a-day myrrh habit.


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The First Music Video Filmed Entirely Using Cellphones


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"Of course I'm not a real person, I'm a big piece of poop." The legendary costumed character, Mr Floatie, wants to run for mayor of Victoria, but may be disqualified because he's actually a big turd.
  • That's odd. I thought that being a big piece of shit was a requirement for public office. I guess the problem is that he is an imaginary piece of shit instead of the real ones we usually have to vote for.


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Dave Barry's choice for headline o' the day so far ... "Birds battle buttocks for top art prize "


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This week's movies (1800 screens): Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story - 57% positive reviews
  • Wittiest review: "I wonder if the 'true story' Dreamer was 'inspired by' was the one where Seabiscuit made over 120 million dollars at the box-office in 2003?"


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This week's movies (2600 screens): North Country - 88% positive reviews. This is Charlize Theron's "small guy versus the establishment" movie which has some Oscar aspirations.


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This week's movies (1700+ screens): Stay - 0% good reviews. It has been described as a pale, pretentious grade-B imitation of Antonioni and David Lynch.


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This week's movies (3000+ screens): Doom - no advance reviews, but some enthusiasm from those who like such things. One genre site called it "Easily the best videogame-to-film adaptation yet." Unfortunately, that is not much help. Considering the competition in that field, it could range in quality anywhere from a bad episode of the Scooby Laff-a-Lympics (which pissed me off. I lost a ton of money betting on the Dastardly team.) all the way up to Casablanca. By the way, it is rated R - thus eliminating a big chunk of the potential video game audience.


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The Weekend Warrior makes his predictions for October 21-23
  • He thinks Doom (3000 screens) will make an impressive debut (for this time of year), with Oscar-hopeful North Country (2600 screens) a distant second.
  • The other two new films, each on about 1800 screens are Dreamer (the Seabiscuit clone from Dream Works), and Stay, a psychological thriller starring Obi-Wan and Naomi Watts. The Warrior thinks Dreamer will finish a respectable fourth, with Stay a distant and forgotten ninth, soon to disappear back into the obscurity whence it emerged.
  • Clooney's Murrow film is expected to expand modestly (200 theaters or so), and is not expected to crack the top 10


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Saturday night is dead to TV. "ABC has essentially put a prime-time slot up for auction to anyone who has a compelling idea."


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"NEW SUPER-TINY IPOD IS IMPLANTED DIRECTLY INTO THE BRAIN" ... 100 Million Americans Could Be Hardwired for Sound By 2008, Says Jobs


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"Jon Stewart points out to Dolly Parton that the way people think of her is not so sisterly and auntish."


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The Daily Show's Rob Corddry recalls the best moments from America's favorite TV show, 'The White House.'


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"Madonna has revealed she had to write a grovelling letter to Abba " In order to get the rights to some of their music, she had to beg and plead and say how much she loved them. They didn't believe her, until they realized it was THE Madonna, and she is undoubtedly tone deaf.


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Weekly World News: "HOW TO FOOL BABES INTO THINKING YOU'RE A DOCTOR"


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GALLUP: The American people think their government sucks across the board. Unfortunately, in a democracy, "people get the government they deserve."


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What's Really in Your Halloween Candy? Eye of newt? Toe of frog?


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

More like "Ton 'o Sugar"

 

The Daily Show: "If Bush's delivery made you think he was engaging in impromptu discussion with soldiers, fear not."


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"Adam Carolla wants Alec Baldwin to gain 80 pounds and become the 'mountain man' who will be the next president."


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"Miers Tells Senator the Constitution Protects Right to Privacy "
  • "U.S. Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers says she believes there's a constitutional right to privacy and that two cases the court relied upon when it legalized abortion were ``correctly decided,'' according to Senator Arlen Specter. "


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT: What happened to the scoop free pic of the day?

 

"Crazy lady from this weeks episode of Trading Spouses. I bet her husband changed all the locks as soon as she left. This woman needs her own show, I would watch every week."


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Four clips from Prime
  • "'Prime' is a sophisticated, character comedy set in New York City about Rafi (Uma Thurman), a recently divorced 37-year-old career woman from Manhattan, and what happens when Dave (Bryan Greenberg), a talented 23-year-old painter from Brooklyn, falls in love with her."


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The trailer for Breakfast on Pluto
  • "A vibrant, picturesque new movie from Neil Jordan, the award winning director of 'The Crying Game,' 'Interview with the Vampire,' and 'The End of the Affair. Set in the 1970's, 'Breakfast on Pluto' follows the exploits of Patrick Braden (Cilian Murphy), an endearing, but deceptively tough young man. Abandoned as a baby in his small Irish hometown and aware from a very early age that he is different, Patrick survives this harsh environment with the aid of his wit and charm, plus a sweet refusal to let anyone and anything change who he is. Jordan weaves a wonderfully surreal and magical tale to bring us this funny, moving and poignant rites of passage account of a young man enduring the trials and tribulations he faces with a smile and unwavering faith in the inherent goodness in us all."


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"Two trade groups sued Arnold Schwarzenegger over a law he passed banning the sale of violent video games to children under the age of 18."


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again, the game industry goes out of it's way to shoot itself in the foot. Yes, violent DVDs can be sold to youth, but arguing that is like Scott Peterson saying OJ got away with it, why can't I. They need to know that the majority of people have no clue about gaming. The media paints the worst possible picture of gaming and when the uninformed see game producers fighting to keep selling "violence to children", it only re-enforces that negative impression.

 

Top ten signs that your barber is working for al-Qaeda
  • "Instead of small talk about sports, it's small talk about streets flowing with Zionist blood"
  • "Customers pay with cash, credit card, or goat"



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Stephen Colbert - National Treasure


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"Stephen Colbert is the first name in journalism. Not alphabetically, of course."


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Stephen Colbert discusses the public trust.


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Colbert Report: Journalistic Courage


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The Colts fell behind 17-0 early. No problem, except that they only won by 17. The scary thing is that they don't even need Manning this year.


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The 'stros were one out away from the World Series. Unfortunately for them, that out needed to come from the best hitter on the planet.


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IMDb celebrates its 15th Anniversary


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