Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Beginner's Guide to Search Engine Optimization


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"FILM THREAT'S FRIGID 50: THE COLDEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD 2005"


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Proof that you can find anything on the internet. Cocaine Corner: Best Places To Get Blow in NYC


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"you can drastically improve your luck and quality of life simply by sleeping with Weekly World News under your pillow!" Surprisingly enough, this quote comes from Scientific American. Or not.


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"A judge has told Sam Buck that she can't call her coffee shop Sam Buck's. "


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Released prisoner steals a car three minutes after being released.


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The script for The Pianist


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Mr Twig now has the season finale of South Park.
  • "Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad is arrested for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan's dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his 'disease.' "


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The world's most offensive holiday videos, featuring a Charlie Brown Kwanzaa and Rudolph the Five Legged Reindeer


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The early reviews for The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (76% positive - but the positive reviews are more respectful than gushing.)


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Stephen Colbert interviews Anderson Cooper


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Colbert discusses the uncertain future of pension plans.


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Stephen Colbert discusses the war on Christmas.


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Conan's latest Celebrity Survey


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The trailer for Dreamgirls
  • "Based on the Tony Award-winning musical, 'Dreamgirls' set in the turbulent late 1960s and early '70s, 'Dreamgirls' follows the rise of a trio of women -- Effie (Jennifer Hudson), Deena (Beyonce Knowles) and Lorrell (Anika Noni Rose) -- who have formed a promising girl group called The Dreamettes. At a talent competition, they are discovered by an ambitious manager named Curtis Taylor, Jr. (Jamie Foxx), who offers them the opportunity of a lifetime: to become the back-up singers for headliner James 'Thunder' Early (Eddie Murphy). Curtis gradually takes control of the girls' look and sound, eventually giving them their own shot in the spotlight as The Dreams. That spotlight, however, begins to narrow in on Deena, finally pushing the less attractive Effie out altogether. Though the Dreams become a cross-over phenomenon, they soon realize that the cost of fame and fortune may be higher than they ever imagined."


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Nicole Richie is no longer engaged, presumably because her former fiance finally went to an optometrist.


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Former British PM Margaret Thatcher in hospital
  • It appears from the photograph that her hair has become too big for her head to support.
  • Doctors are uncertain whether to build in an cantilevered neck support or just call a barber


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Kate Moss topless video taken by paparazzi - in the middle of New York City


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Video - "Hottie shows off her tits in a restaurant"


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Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie has confessed to urinating on stage during a recent concert."
  • Big Deal. All the great ones do it. Steve and Edie would often douse the front row, and I think Sinatra once peed on the queen at a royal command performance. Occupational hazard.


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Aniston paparazzo tells his side of the story


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Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum!


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"RUMSFELD: WAR IN IRAQ GOING WELL ON EARTH II" ... Reports Significant Process in Parallel Universe


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"Jennifer Aniston has reportedly burned her wedding dress."
  • I'm thinkin' that whole still Pitt thing still crosses her mind from time to time
  • I can relate. I never got over the death of Mr Greenjeans. I loved that guy. Er ... in a manly way, of course.


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For the record: these are NOT pictures of Jennifer Aniston
  • They have been around forever, and somebody drags them out about once a year and starts the claim again. They are just some random woman posted on VoyeurWeb many years ago. A celebrity imager named Sisyphus, who is well known in the online imaging community, "created" the Aniston ruse many years ago. Here is his confession, which was posted to a popular imaging bulletin board:



    "I want to apologize to anyone who may have been embarassed or have gotten angry over a series of faked celebrity pics that I did a while back as a goof to screw with a buddy. You see I have this friend who thinks that every decent shot of a celeb that he personally hasn't found himself is a fake, and that every damn fake that he finds is real. I'm sure every one of you knows one of these guys, so here's what I did. I bet him that I could give him a disc with 50 pics of celebs on it and within the collection there would be a small number of fakes that I made, his task obviously was to sort them out. I gave him the disc and a week to figure it out, he failed miserably mainly because he did the unexpected and he posted them to a newsgroup and waited for the replies. Unfortunately once he did that the fakes went mainstream and to this day haunt me for which I offer my deepest apologies to all.


    • The Jewel beach pics came out first and the debate raged on with some of my friends putting together this rather impressive presentation as to why the pics had to be real. Sorry, guys.
    • When the SMG/Appleton pic first turned up I immediately contacted the original scanner and and explained what happened and he called me a few choice names then forgave my indiscretions. Why the use of his logo? Obvious subterfuge to keep my friend off track. Sorry, again.
    • The final set was a collage of a Jennifer Aniston lookalike I found on voyeurweb that required no editing just her name tacked on.

    The pics weren't meant to hurt anyone or to go public but I should have known better. I regret that bet every time one of them pops up not so much for doing it but because those damn pics seem to be the only images that I've worked on that anyone actually kept!!"


  • This one is also old, but it is really she. It is the picture that she sued Celebrity Skin over, because she was in her own back yard at the time, not in public, and the picture therefore represented an invasion of privacy. The picture was taken on February 28, 1999, and was first published in Eva Tremila Magazine, April 14, 1999.


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Jon Stewart looks at the case for Saddam's defense


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Jon Stewart talks to Michelle Yeoh about the rigors of Geisha training


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The Daily Show discusses broadcast indecency


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The Daily Show - The Death Limo of Death
  • All Americans can relate to one woman's chilling story of the Super-Stretch Death Limo of Death.


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"Need an alibi? You can buy one!"
  • "For instance, if you lie about going to an out-of-town seminar, the Alibi Network provides fake e-mail confirmations, a fake hotel reception desk to answer calls, and even doctored photographs."



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But it was REALLY good cheese ... Memphis woman hires a hit man to kill four men for a block of cheese
  • She made two minor errors (1) what she thought was cocaine was cheese (2) what she thought was a hit man was a police officer


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The early reviews for King Kong


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Top Ten Euphemisms For Torture


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Astro pic o' the Day: Europe at Night


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