Sunday, December 18, 2005

"The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge."


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Global warming seems a lot worse if you're a polar bear.


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Bad Santas run wild in Auckland
  • I love this quote: "A police spokesman described it as fairly average behaviour from an organised group of idiots."
  • Who would have thought Reindeer Games was such a popular movie in New Zealand?



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Here is the original source for the assertion that the President called the Constitution 'just a goddamned piece of paper'
  • The quote has supposedly been corroborated by three anonymous sources, presumably from the GOP leadership on the Hill, but in any case three people alleged to have been present when the words were spoken.


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If you can't wait, here is what the President is going to say: *** Bush's Prime Time Speech on Iraq *** (Or you can print it out and follow along, if you like, to see if he deviates from his prepared speech. It'll be like reading your Shakespeare while you watch PBS. Yup, exactly like that.)


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A Gallery of Hubble's Greatest Images


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Garciaparra, Dodgers agree on a contract.
  • The team just had the second-worst year in L.A. Dodger history, so they are looking for help
  • Nomar is only 32, and may be capable of returning to his peak form. If so, the Dodgers made a helluva pickup, because he's a terrific hitter and can fill in at almost any position. If not? Well, it's only a one year deal.


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No ham for Christmas: Muslim menu for Aussie hospital
  • To me, the oddest thing about this article is this quote: "We'll still make Christmas special – we've got prawns and all sorts of other special treats." For people so sensitive to Muslim dietary requirements, they really don't seem to be equally worried about respecting the Jewish dietary laws.


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VIDEO. What every women should give her man for Christmas? "Bigger Jugs And A Shaved Pussy"


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Check out this commercial for the 1970 Dodge Charger


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VIDEO: The Backwards Bowler


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Film Jerk's Early Report for December 18
  • "This week's Early Report covers the 53 known new movies opening in theatres or expanding their runs between Wednesday December 21 and Friday January 27"



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UK nights
  • Some outstanding photographic representations of the UK at night


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Famed military historian calls Iraq "the most foolish war since Emperor Augustus in 9 BC sent his legions into Germany and lost them".
  • Wow - the silliest war of the entire Christian era? The President should be proud. That covers a lot of ground. More foolish than Crimea? More foolish than Napoleon's invasion of Russia? More foolish than the Bay of Pigs invasion? More foolish than The Children's Crusade? Sillier than the Honey War of 1839? More foolish than Italy's two wars with Ethiopia? (Hell, I think the first one was actually called The Extremely Foolish War, and we even kicked its sorry ass!)


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SITE NOTE: the blog is back to the old format now that blogger.com seems to be publishing properly.



If you actually preferred the temporary format that we were using, just
bookmark this URL instead.


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Robert Novak leaving CNN
  • The Douchebag of Liberty (aka The Prince of Darkness) will be making the move to PBS.
  • Nah, I'm just fuckin' witcha! Fox News, of course.


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"US cinema legend Woody Allen said he is a 'mediocre' director of 'miserable work'."
  • "People think I'm an intellectual because I wear glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money".
  • Woody is not exhibiting false modesty. He genuinely thinks that is a fair self-assessment. He's way too hard on himself, of course. He's not exactly Robert Rodriguez in the visual imagination department, but his limitations as a director are more than offset by his writing abilities. The man has been nominated for "best screenplay" something like 13 times, so I think it's a safe conclusion that he knows his way around a script.
  • And, well, he's also been nominated as the best director four times, winning for Annie Hall. I really like what he did as a director in some films, like Zelig, Manhattan, and The Purple Rose of Cairo. Both Annie Hall and Manhattan are rated among the IMDb Top 250.
  • Summing up his giant filmography as "mediocre", Allen said "Match Point" (2005), "Husbands and Wives" (1992) and "The Purple Rose of Cairo" (1985) were "three films of mine that are good films. Those are good films by anybody's standards".



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Shock. The Colts lose!
  • The win was critical to the Chargers, who are batting desperately for the sixth and final AFC playoff spot. (According to the CBS playoff update, if the season ended right this minute, the Chargers would lose that spot to the Steelers on a tie-breaker.)


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Weekend Box Office Results, December 16-18, 2005
  • Kong was off about $13 million from the predictions we normally cite, although other industry sources had pegged it even higher. The sum of the top ten was off by the same thirteen million.
  • I think it is entirely possible to make too much of Kong's underperformance. This weekend was 22% AHEAD of the same weekend last year, and that's something which probably should be viewed as half-full rather than half-empty. Perhaps one might conclude that the predictions were just too high all around, and that it was not reasonable to expect $100-$120 million from Kong and Narnia, during a weekend which produced only $99 million from all of the top twelve films added together in 2004! If Kong and Narnia had actually churned out $120 million together, as some optimists thought, this weekend would have beaten last year by 60%. To be honest, I just don't know how much of Kong's "underperformance relative to expectations" is attributable to Kong, and how much is attributable to the expectations.
  • Looking at it another way, the Konger took in $50 million on his opening weekend. Opening at the same time of year in 2001, The Fellowship of the Ring took in about $47 million against much easier competition than that faced by Kong. Ticket prices are higher now, so Kong sold fewer tickets than Fellowship, but it is fair to say that Kong approximately matched Fellowship, which went on to gross nearly a billion world-wide.
  • Brokeback Mountain broke forward substantially this week. Although not expected to crack the top ten, it finished eighth overall, despite being in only 69 theaters. It accumulated a whopping $34,000 per screen. Memoirs of a Geisha also fanned its way into the top twelve, with $23,000 per screen on 52 screens.
  • Although it could not match Kong hype-for-hype, the week's other opening, The Family Stone, did not get ignored by moviegoers. It did well, grossing 30% above expectations, with about $13 million in some 2400 theaters.




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Approximately 1000 Anne Hathaway screencaps from Havoc, including all the good stuff


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Time names Bono, Bill and Melinda Gates Persons of Year
  • They just didn't say which year


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"Ladies' Man: Kong and his women."


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Michael J Nelson has finally been given his ultimate vehicle: the commentary track for a colorized version of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Mike is the MST3000 guy. Don't miss his review of 90s monkey movies.


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Top Science Stories of 2005


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The Worst Cars of 2005


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Tera Patrick Topless in Howard Stern's Tickle chair


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The new heavyweight champ is seven feet tall and weighs 323. He's also 43-0.
  • He's a Russian, and he will crush you.
  • Seriously, the crowd thought he should have lost the decision, but I suppose everybody would be rooting for the guy who is a foot shorter.


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Jack Anderson, the Pulitzer Prize-winning muckraking columnist died Saturday. He was 83.
  • Anderson took over Drew Pearson's column when that pioneer retired.
  • You know he had to be a decent guy, because he was hated by Joe McCarthy and was on Nixon's famous "enemies list"


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Ashlee Simpson collapses in Tokyo
  • She was rushed to a hospital, but her concert was completed, as planned.
  • She may miss several more concerts, but there is no need to reschedule them.


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"Nobel Peace Prize Winner Calls for Total Annihilation of the U.S." Hey, that's new. They usually only call for the violent destruction of Israel.


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"A major study recently concluded that every individual on the planet is an incompetent buffoon."
  • "The results, while unsurprising to most laymen, nonetheless confirm scientifically for the first time an impression that has been shared by most members of the human race since, approximately, the dawn of time. A spokesman for the institute said they were 'fairly pleased with the results, but not really sure what to do with them now that we have them'."


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