Friday, December 23, 2005

Bush Family 2005 Christmas Letter (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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"SANTA'S REINDEER ON STRIKE ... 'WORK CONDITIONS GOT TO BE UNBEARABLE,' SAYS COMET


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Pennsylvania Community Officially Celebrates Festivus


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Mall" Good list:
  • "You toss a penny in the fountain and it hits a corpse"
  • "Lenscrafters promises glasses 'In about a month'"
  • "The sales person keeps offering to measure your inseam - and you're at a bookstore


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What does "Alice in Wonderland" have to do with psychological testing?
  • I took a similar psychological test 30 years ago - maybe even the same one mentioned in the article - and the personnel manager told me that I scored "low in masculinity." I asked him for specific examples, and he said "This question: Would you rather be a florist or a coal miner? Women say florist, gay men say florist, hetero men say coal miner. You said florist." I responded, "I still feel the same. I don't really have any special love of flowers, but I never heard of any fuckin' florist dying of pink lung."
  • Despite this exchange, or maybe because of it, I got the job.


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This Christmas Week in God


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A new pic of Milla as Ultraviolet, aka Resident Evil meets Aeon Flux


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Where are the Oscar nominations for this film? Combien tu m'aimes? (How much do you love me?)
  • "The film offers endless shots of an unclad Monica Bellucci being beautiful from all sorts of angles"
  • "a particularly low-brow sex comedy set in a faux high-brow, very stylised version of the Parisian night. Anyone who thinks that sounds appealing (and/or anyone willing to shell out some dough to drool over Bellucci’s assets) has found his or her match."


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Suicide Girls Steal X-Mas - Topless
  • "Nothing but coal in suicide girls stockings. Ouch! Chloe Suicide is totally hot. Even with Santa down for the count, his groans still sound like 'Ho,Ho,Ho.'"


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"Step aside, Frosty, make way for Snowzilla ... 16-foot-tall snowman attains celebrity status in Anchorage"


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Sienna Miller finds her boobs in 'Casanova'


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The British trailer for Seven Swords.
  • In the early 1600‘s, the Manchurians have assumed sovereignty and established the Ching Dynasty. A highly oppressive reign thus began. To fight against the brutality of the new government and save the innocent, seven unlikely heroes gathered together and became the Seven Swords. Each sword carries its own character – The Transience Sword, The Dragon Sword, The Heaven‘s Fall Sword, The Unlearn Sword, The Deity Sword, The Celestial Beam Sword and The Star Chasers Sword.
  • Nuff said. I think you already know whether you might like it



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Here's the trailer for Bubble, Soderbergh's latest.
  • "Residents of a small town in Ohio puzzle out the details of a murder which took place at the local toy factory."


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Nine clips and five TV spots from Hostel, Eli Roth's follow-up to Cabin Fever.


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Osama's Niece Poses in Racy Photo Shoot
  • That reminds me. Don't miss our next pictorial, The Girls of al-Qaida. Our photo editor wore out 23 airbruses for your entertainment.


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Autopsy results: Tony Dungy's 18-year-old son committed suicide


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Britain's Prince Chuck wants to be King George
  • I'll tell you what would be cooler than that. His name is Charles Phillip Arthur George Windsor. How does King Arthur sound?


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GALLUP: Americans Inventory Their Gadgets
  • Most gadget ownership (DVD players, for example) is fairly constant across all age groups until 65, when it drops dramatically.
  • The exception is gaming systems, where the big drop occurs at age 50. Surprisingly, people aged 30-49 are just as likely to own game systems as people 18-29 (For their kids or for themselves? It doesn't specify.)


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Dr. Evil gets divorced, custody of Scotty undetermined.


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Dick Cheney in Afghanistan: Vice President's Holiday Remarks to Troops in That Other Arabiac Wasteland Which Nobody Cares About Even Though It Actually Harbored the 9/11 Terrorists (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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The trailer for the remake of The Hills Have Eyes
  • "A new take on Wes Craven's 1977 film of the same name, 'The Hills Have Eyes' is the story of a family road trip that goes terrifyingly awry when the travelers become stranded in a government atomic zone. Miles from nowhere, the Carters soon realize the seemingly uninhabited wasteland is actually the breeding ground of a blood-thirsty mutant family...and they are the prey."


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The trailer for RV, a comedy with Robin Williams. Robin is basically playing the Chevy Chase role from those Vacation movies.


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Should Microsoft buy Opera?


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"French Parliament Votes to Legalize File Sharing " because nobody cares to share French movies or music.


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"From 2006 Britain will be the first country where every journey by every car will be monitored "


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