Monday, December 26, 2005

The third richest man in the USA is ... who again?
  • Bill Gates and Warren Buffett are widely known by name, and Gates's face is immediately recognizable to the general public, but the number three guy??? Well, he's the world's most obscure zillionaire.


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Netflix KOs Blockbuster Online


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"Five prominent major league players were named in a $35 million lawsuit over an alleged phone card scam"
  • Ortiz, Tejada, Pedro Martinez, Dotel and Lugo reportedly were named in the suit.


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"the ten worst Britons of the past 1,000 years, with one from every century."
  • The worst guy of the 12th century - Thomas a Becket. He ‚Äúdivided England in a way that even many churchmen who shared some of his views thought unnecessary and self-indulgent. He was a founder of gesture politics. He was also greedy."
  • King John made the list
  • as did Jack the Ripper
  • The 20th century winner and also the worst Briton of all time is, of course, Hugh Grant, a last-minute choice which was forced by the committee's 11th hour decision to ignore Dick Cheney's honorary UK citizenship.


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Will placing tinfoil in your car's hubcaps or hanging a CD from your rear-view mirror fool police radar?
  • Oh, of course. What could go wrong? Just put a little Reynolds Wrap on your hubcaps and you can confidently soar through a school zone in triple figures, as safe as one of those invisible space ships on Star Trek.


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Was "Uncle Sam" originally a meat packer in Troy, New York?


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"Through her publicist, Longoria said on Monday that 'the police report is highly inaccurate, defamatory, false and fraudulent.'"
  • This is publicist talk for "self-evidently true, but embarrassing to my client"


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Sarah Silverman sings a duet with her vagina. Her asshole sings a bass line.


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Punk'd by a Lotto Hoax!


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The Year in Pictures 2005 - MSNBC.com (Two slideshows - readers' choice and editors' choice)


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When will our Federal government finally bust the greedy and ruthless ferret monopolists?
  • One word from them, and the poor people of your city might never see another ferret.
  • I wonder if they are part of an organized crime syndicate, laundering drug money through ferret profits.


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Scientists prove that spoons really do vanish
  • Next up on the scientific docket: the cause of unpaired socks


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Headline of the day: "Remote-control roaches are plagued by spammers"


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The passing of an era. ABC Bids Farewell to Monday Night Football
  • It brings back great memories for us old guys. Monday Nights with Howard, Dandy Don and the Giff.


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It's that time of year again. Here is the place to go to vote for your favorite nude scene of 2005. Results to be posted on New Year's Day, as usual.


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Weekend Box Office Results, December 23-25
  • The results are so diffuse as to be difficult to interpret, because some films opened on Wednesday, some Friday, some Sunday. Kong and Narnia were about even for the weekend. The weekend was down 14% from last year, but that is mostly because Christmas fell on a different day of the week. The predictions were far off, but that was to be expected. It was a dartboard toss, since the weekend was filled with new releases and an unpredictable Sunday/Christmas
  • The biggest losers of the week were Kong, which managed to underperform even radically diminished expectations, and Cheaper by the Dozen 2, which was widely ignored. (Not only were the reviews dreadful, but families saw essentially the same film last week in Yours, Mine, and Ours)
  • The biggest winner was Narnia, which pulled back even with Kong and has proven to be an enduring favorite.
  • It may be more interesting to look at Sunday and Monday, in which all the releases competed apples-to-apples.
  • The interesting thing about the Sunday-Monday period is that the two-way horserace has become a three-way, with Jim Carrey having overcome bad reviews to compete with the big boys. Dick and Jane is the surprise winner of the Sunday/Monday period.
  • Jennifer Aniston overcame her own bad notices to work into a respectable sixth on Sunday/Monday.
  • Wolf Creek was in seventh or eighth place on Sunday/Monday, about even with The Ringer. The Producers was tenth, with respectable revenues per screen.





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Character Actor Vincent Schiavelli Dies
  • One of my favorites. A mainstay of grade-B films whose unique look also made him a valuable asset in A-list projects like Amadeus and Cuckoo's Nest. Because of his appearance, he was one of those guys who would never get the lead in romantic comedies or action films, but who did a good job whenever he was given the opportunity - and that's about the best thing you can say about anyone.


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The five finalists have been chosen for the new motto for New Jersey
  • "Come to New Jersey: It's not as bad as it smells." was not one of the finalists.
  • I'm still holding out for, "New Jersey: no fuckin' motto. You got a problem wit' dat?"


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Is Florida's anti-spam crusader the state's biggest spammer?
  • Florida's attorney general has spearheaded an aggressive campaign against unsolicited e-mails, or spam. Only one problem - he may be the state's biggest spammer. Man, he's going to have some trouble forcing himself into a perp walk.
  • His incredibly weaselly explanation? Even though his e-mails are unsolicited and ask for money (the definition of spam by any and every reasonable standard. Go to Google and type in "define: spam") - they are truthful! Under Florida law, it isn't spam unless it's deceptive. (Which means the friggin' law doesn't actually have anything at all to do with spam! You'd think they might have looked up the definition of spam before writing the anti-spam law! But, no-o-o-o-!)
  • It appears to me that the Florida anti-spam law is deceptive (since it doesn't actually have anything to do with spam) - and therefore, given their alleged definition that spam is deceptive mass e-mail - the Florida law against spam - (follow me now) - if e-mailed to the citizens of Florida, would be spam!
  • Quick, call Mudd's robots!


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TIME picks 2005's Best Movies
  • An obscure list, to say the least


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Tony Parker and Eva Longoria stopped by police - and act like total assholes!


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2005: another year of celebs behaving madly


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On Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and throughout the holidays, Chinese restaurants do some of their briskest business of the year.


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The Vikings are now out of the playoff picture.
  • That loss also officially clinched a playoff berth for the Giants
  • The Bears have won the NFC North.
  • The only division still unsettled involves Tampa and Carolina and in fact, neither of those teams is sure of making the post-season, although one of the two must make it, and both may.
  • The remaining NFC battle involves the wild card: Three of these four teams will make the playoffs, but one will go home early: Redskins, Cowboys, Bucs, Carolina. If the season ended today, Dallas would draw the short straw.
  • In the AFC, if the Steelers win OR the Chiefs lose, the Steelers are in, the Chiefs out. Where it gets really crazy is the Steelers lose, and Chiefs win. Get this - if the Steelers and Chiefs tie at 10-6, the playoff team will be determined by the result of the Broncos-Chargers game, even though that game is meaningless to the two teams playing!!! (Complicated. It has to do with tie-breakers, and the fact that the Chargers can still go 10-6, even though they can't make the playoffs.)


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Jim Carrey hides in the crowd to disrupt the 'Today Show'


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The man who created the 'Mother of All Bombs' dies at 67
  • Wait a minute. Kevin Costner is still alive, and he just turned 50.


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