Thursday, January 12, 2006

Aniston Wasn't Alerted to Pregnancy!
  • This could mean jail time for someone. If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, please check your local laws, which may require you to inform Jennifer Aniston


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Bill Clinton unveils deal to slash price of AIDS tests
  • No wait - it's just his volume discount.


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Kate Moss and Lindsay Lohan's Bogus Journey to a Strip Club
  • The Enquirer people are going to have to create a new tabloid just for Lindsay, or nobody else will make it above page five. This is only the 12th day of the year, and she's already into 2007's headlines!


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Kate Moss and Lindsay Lohan's Most Excellent Dark Room Adventure


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Eli Roth Talks Hostel 2!


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Peter Bergen talks to Jon Stewart about his book "The Osama bin Laden I Know."
  • The Osama I knew, I Osama I loved - the Osama with a song in his heart.


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The Daily Show: "By examining our reasons for being in the Middle East we are cupping Osama's balls."


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The Daily Show: "A look at what medical science promises, and what it can actually deliver."


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"SEN. BIDEN PRODUCING DANGEROUSLY HIGH LEVELS OF CARBON DIOXIDE ... Talkative Lawmaker Creating Environmental Threat, Scientists Fear"


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Body mistakenly taken out with funeral home trash


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The line-up for Survivor 12 - Panama


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Build your own motivational posters!
  • "Armed with a digital camera and that non-stop wit of yours, you now have the power to turn a simple photograph into an inspirational message that will burn forever in the hearts and minds of dozens. Print it, frame it! Make two -- we know you've got hundreds of digital images and photos to spare! But don't worry if you can't think of anything... remember, there's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to. Discussion and comments about this application here."


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Astute critic notes that there may be a subtle homosexual subtext in Brokeback Mountain
  • Actually, I like his reviews. Like The Filthy Critic he uses the same funny and disingenuously casual attitude to disguise some serious thoughts


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This is for real - Medical journal: removing ear wax with a Super Soaker


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Another real headline: "Penis is too much for Swedish sex exhibition"
  • The text of the article is (intentionally??) funny as well. "The director of the museum, Jan Sundström, didn't like the look of the man's penis. It ... was too much for the museum management to swallow."


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The trailer for The King
  • A troubled man (Gael Garcia Bernal), recently discharged from the Navy, returns to his childhood home in Corpus Christi, Texas to reunite with his father.


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The trailer for 'Just My Luck', a high-concept rom-com with Lindsay Lohan
  • In this comedy, Lindsay Lohan plays Ashley, a young professional just out of college. She also happens to be the luckiest woman in the world, who has lived a super-charmed life and has always taken her good luck for granted. When she kisses a handsome stranger (played by Chris Pine) at a costume party, Ashley accidentally swaps her good fortune for his horribly bad luck, and her charmed life turns into a living hell.


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This is a real headline: "Germany's cannibal back on trial for eating Internet volunteer"


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The Daily Show: Schwarzenegger's lip, the only part of him not hideously swollen, was injured in a car accident.


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The Daily Show: It's time to figure out what Senator Ted Kennedy's eye roll and headshake were all about!


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The Daily Show's Ed Helms "profiles a sleepy Texas town that changed its name to Dish and got free satellite TV."


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"Albert Brooks talks to Jon Stewart about performing in Pakistan for 'Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World.'"


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The preview video for the Colin Farrell sex tape


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"Thomas Edison's neighbor is upset that Edison doesn't share his electricity."


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Inadequate Body Armor Fatalities: President Bush Threatens to Shut Down New York Times for Revealing the Super-Duper-Classified Military Secret that Our Troops in Iraq are Sitting Ducks WHITEHOUSE.ORG


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Lots of new images from Basic Instinct 2


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