Wednesday, May 03, 2006

PRESIDENT DEMANDS THAT AMERICA'S SLAVE CLASS SING NATIONAL ANTHEM IN JESUS' LANGUAGE INSTEAD OF MUMBO-JUMBO MEXICANESE (WhiteHouse.org)


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WWN: 7 WAYS TO ANNOY CO-WORKERS - WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE!


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Maine university denies dorm for girl, 14
  • Robert Dana, dean of students at the University of Maine, said residence halls don't have enough supervision for a 14-year-old and that dorm staff members are trained to help older teenagers.
  • Does that explanation make any sense to anyone in light of the fact that her parents were aware of the situation and wanted her to live on campus?


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Man arrested after thieves steal safe filled with child porn


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"The Homosexual and You" - a Pat Robertson production


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The Smoking Gun: "Graphic police report details Florida couple's parking lot romp"


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Star salaries coming down in Hollywood


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The official poster for Snakes on a Plane


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The A.V. Club interviews the supremely eccentric Crispin Glover


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Janeane Garofalo is under criticism for touting a controversial Scientology-linked project.


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Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me (The full-length album is online!)


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Plagiarism scandal widens - girl now said to have plagiarized significantly from Salman Rishdie'
  • Does this mean she gets a partial fatwa?


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The tender, lilting unicorn-fucking song
  • Awesome! I was singing along!


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Cousin Eddie to play Spain's King Carlos IV (last paragraph)
  • Yeah, I can see that. He has that regal bearing.


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An uninterrupted seven minute clip from Poseidon


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CNN.com - For late-night hosts, it's open season on Bush
  • During the first three months of the year, Bush has been the punch line of 307 monologue jokes by Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien. That compares to 197 jokes during the same period last year.
  • "Did you know former President James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other at the same time?" Leno said. "That was Garfield. When President Bush heard about it, he said, 'We had a talking cat for president?"'


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SATAN's TESTIMONY ROCKS ENRON TRIAL Lord of Darkness Becomes Surprise Witness For Prosecution
  • “If Satan’s testimony brings down Ken Lay, don’t be surprised if the prosecution calls him as a witness at Tom DeLay’s trial.”
  • "Elsewhere, magician David Blaine said that for his next trick he would attempt to last seven days as White House press spokesman."


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Rolling Stone Celebrates 1,000 Issues


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Tiger says good-bye to his beloved dad


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COLBERT: Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who recently lost 110 pounds, discusses his book, Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork.


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Colbert Report: Keep a Healthy Appetite
  • "Without our hefty heroes, there would be no songs about fat-bottomed girls or lovely lady lumps."


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Colbert Report: Magic! ... "David Blaine is proving once and for all that mankind is capable of watching anything."


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Stephen Colbert's audition tape forpresidential press secretary


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Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright talks to Jon Stewart about her new book "The Mighty & the Almighty."


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Daily Show: It's odd to see the Supreme Court use the term "Stupendous Bazongas" in a ruling.


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Mac or Bonds: Who Roided It Up Better?


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Sony Pictures - official site for Casino Royale, including an English version of the trailer


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The Big E3 List: 2006 Edition - Every official game at the show, all in one handy guide


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Ah-nuld wants two NFL teams in L.A.


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Astros show Rocket the money


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"Electronic Road Signs and Me"


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The Daily Show looks at Iraq


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USATODAY talks to Teri Hatcher about her new book


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LETTERMAN: Top Ten Signs Gas Is Really Expensive
  • Batman is patrolling the streets on a Schwinn
  • Anna Nicole Smith married the night manager of a Texaco


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A funny clip from Conan: "Bush takes a piss while addressing the nation."


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Hold on to your hats, men. The Clippers have won a playoff series!


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JoBlo looks at Richard Kelly's follow-up to DONNIE DARKO, entitled SOUTHLAND TALES


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Mexicans Ruining Market for Cool Personal Robots, Say Experts


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Angelina Jolie's interview on Dateline 4/30/06


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URL says it all: RateMyTurban.com


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"Here's a news story detailing the history of the moustache tattoo. Good for a few laughs, as opposed to the tattoos themselves."


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I don't even know what a Kaya PF4 is, but I want one anyway!


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SCIENTISTS have found a chemical in wallaby milk which is 100 times more effective against bacteria, such as E coli, than the strongest forms of penicillin.


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There is now a featurette available about the making of World Trade Center - An Oliver Stone Film


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Saturn shown as it would be seen by human eyes near the planet


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Teri Hastcher says her nipples and toes are suck-worthy
  • Much like her performances


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Keith Richards has been released from a New Zealand hospital after injuring himself when he fell out of a palm tree
  • At first, doctors wanted to hold the patient because he seemed to be confused and disoriented after the fall. Then they realized he was Keith Richards.


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Poll Result: which irritating celebrity would you least like to travel with>
  • Paris Hilton just edged out Tom Cruise
  • My vote would be based on reality. The most boring flight I ever had was a long overseas trip next to Bob Woodward. Compared to that, a few hours Paris Hilton would have been spiritually rewarding, or at least good for some laughs.


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A man has been living on a tree for the last 50 years after quarreling with his wife.
  • He now refuses to come down, having developed a sense of spiritual kinship with nature, and he prefers the company of the tree's poisonous snakes to that of his wife.
  • ... the man's name - Bill Clinton


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Western Australia - home of the sex train.
  • I'll bet the woman running it has a really nice caboose.


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Gallup's latest midterm election update shows the Democratic party continuing to hold a strong lead over Republicans among registered voters
  • For the first time since 1992, a majority of registered voters say that most members of Congress do not deserve re-election. While most registered voters think their own member of Congress deserves re-election, the percentage saying this is the lowest Gallup has measured since 1994.


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Urban Legends Reference Pages: "Casey Sheehan's grave is as yet unmarked with a standard headstone."


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