Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Britney Spears Would Go Nude for the Right Film Role
  • Like playing the Hindenburg?


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Clinton Soft Drink Ban: President Bush Responds to Communist Plot to Deny America's Youth the FREEDOM to be Diabetes-Ravaged Lardasses (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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Guess: real or spoof? Donald Trump now has his own brand of vodka


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"Halliburton's reputation as a disaster and conflict industry innovator will be cemented by the SurvivaBall, a one-size-fits-all solution to global warming."


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Trivia: which actor holds the record for the most consecutive $100+ million movies.


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You just know the headline writer was having a good laugh over this one: Keith Richards' brain is OK
  • I'm not sure which doctor made that diagnosis, but that boy needs instant decertification.
  • Either that, or the surgeon was Jesus.


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The first clip from Snakes on a Plane, and an interview with Samuel L.


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BRITNEY SPEARS REPRODUCING AT UNSUSTAINABLE RATE, SCIENTISTS FEAR


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"Shock. Total shock. That was the reaction in the audience when 'American Idol' finalist Chris Daughtry was booted off in Wednesday's voting."


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Iowahawk has found the first draft of the Iranian president's letter to George Bush.


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Colbert Report: Cruel and Magically Unusual
  • "If Moussaoui loses, he spends the rest of his life in David Blaine's bubble."


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Colbert Report: Sigmund Freud, Superegomaniac ... "Self-examination is only good for prostates and breasts"


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Colbert Report: Movies Destroying America: Summer Blockbbuster Edition


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The Daily Show's Jason Jones profiles a man preventing Canadians from sneaking into the country by the bazillions.


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The Daily Show: "As reporters question Rumsfeld, you wonder if it's the fairness or the balance you're smelling."


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CLERKS II joins Cannes Film Festival 2006!


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Alabama McDonald's to Display Reagan Bust to Commemorate Visit
  • "a bronze bust of the former president, inside a case with a halogen light shining on it 24 hours a day."
  • The eternal flame-broil!
  • Oh, damn. That's Burger King.


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Lost in 'Lost'
  • " Devout online followers slide each episode under the microscope, seeking to answer questions that go far beyond if and when castaways will get off their mysterious island."
  • Big deal. In my day we used to do the same with Gilligan. Of the Skipper, The Professor and Gilligan, how many were gay?


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Dave Barry's Blog: T-SHIRT OF THE DAY SO FAR


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Daily Show: Scary Movie bloopers
  • Zarqawi put out a videotape to prove to jihadists that he's all that and a bag of hummus.


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Schools' prom gift: Beer mugs and champagne glasses


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Ratings of Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove Sinking to New Depths
  • Rove is about even with Saddam Husssein and Charles Manson


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Chokeback Mountain


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Engadget & Joystiq's live coverage of Sony's PlayStation 3 E3 event


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From Cheerleader Guy: Today is the anniversary of one of the greatest sports photos of all time.


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Scarlett Johansson Is Never Getting Naked Again, not even in the shower.


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This video is quite funny: Darth Vader calls the Emperor collect - to report the loss of the Death Star


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Connery chosen as Britain's sexiest pensioner
  • I guess he's the ONLY sexy pensioner in Britain, since an American finished second
  • (Second place winner Tony Hopkins is an American citizen and lives in Los Angeles.)
  • (The article says that third place winner Patrick Stewart is a sprightly lad of 64, but if that were true he would not even have been on the ballot. Men must be 65 to draw a pension in the UK. Stewart is 65, and will turn 66 in July)
  • Helen Mirren was voted the sexiest lady pensioner, which sounds reasonable, since the old gal is still doing nude scenes and still looks pretty doggoned good.


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I swear, this is a real headline at BBC News ... What would Jesus drive?
  • This is specifically covered in the bible.
  • God drives a Plymouth Fury. Psalms 2:5, "Then will He terrify them in His Fury."
  • Jesus drives an Accord. John 7:28, "You know me, and you know where I come from? But I have not come of my own Accord."
  • On the other hand, Jesus might change his mind if he test-drives the new Cadillac Moneychanger. He loves driving those Moneychangers.


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OK, I made one of these up. Can you guess which one?"Cuba, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, China and Russia won seats on the new UN Human Rights Council"


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Actual New York Daily News Headline: Team flushes competition in sewage contest


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In public's eyes, Tom's less of a Top Gun
  • You think President Bush has popularity problems? Cruise has dropped from a 58% favorable rating to 35% in just ten months.


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Letterman: Top Ten Surprises In ABC's Bird Flu Movie
  • Thanks to sponsorship deal, flu is cured by delicious taste of Dr. Pepper
  • Sad conclusion in which Charlie Brown puts a bullet in Woodstock
  • Sole survivors Michael Jackson and Rosie O'Donnell are forced to repopulate the earth


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Firms find dealing with Cruise a tough mission


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USC Prof Shown Topless On Personal Web Site.
  • The aforegoing link goes to the NBC story. Here are the three controversial pictures.


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JoBlo's Top 10 Unintentionally Gay Movie Moments


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2006 NATIONAL MAGAZINE AWARD WINNERS


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Headline of the day: "Found! King Tut's penis"


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