Friday, May 12, 2006

"Johnny Depp has the write stuff when it comes to signing autographs while Cameron Diaz is the worst"
  • Russell Crowe was voted as the most improved, as he has prmoised to start throwing lightweight cell phones at fans instead of those old klunky 1950's models. And some days, if you don't want a concussion from a vintage phone, he'll agree merely to nail your spleen to a coffee table.


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Jerry Lewis to return to Vegas act
  • "His old, 2 1/2-hour stage act featured a combination of singing, comedy, dancing and pratfalls."
  • I may be an old cynic, but I'm pretty sure he's felled his last prats. The man is 80 years old, has been ill for six years, and was recently the size of a Buick Riviera.
  • (His spokeswoman announced that he's dropped back to 176 pounds, but I'm still not expecting many prats to fall.)


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Could this headline occur anywhere but the UK? "Please don't floss with screwdrivers, dentists beg"


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The trailer for Little Man
  • "Shawn Wayans plays a man so anxious to become a father that he mistakes a short-statured, baby-faced thief on the run, played by Marlon Wayans, for an abandoned toddler. He and his wife, played by Kerry Washington, take the 'baby' into their home and care for him. The 'baby's' partner-in-crime in a jewelry store heist, played by Tracy Morgan, tries to break him out and recover a stolen diamond."


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The trailer from Gridiron Gang
  • "Gridiron Gang" tells the uplifting story of detention camp probation officer Sean Porter (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), who creates a high-school-level football team from a ragtag group of dangerous teenage inmates as a means to teach them self-respect and social responsibility. He is joined in this experiment by co-worker, Malcolm Moore (Xzibit).


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"Racy photos of a Florida teacher have been found on the web -- and they're raising an uproar."


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"HOLLYWOOD babe Halle Berry had to act out sex scenes by herself on the set of her new movie - because co-star Bruce Willis couldn't make the shoot."


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"Colbert's Tip/Wag focuses on the U.S. Mint"


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"Stephen Colbert asks Madeleine Albright how close we can get God and government."


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Colbert Report: West Wing
  • "President Barlett, if you can find them, you must pardon the A-Team."


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Colbert's word for the day "Fill 'er up"


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Jon Stewart talks to former neo-con Francis Fukuyama about his book 'America at the Crossroads.'


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The Daily Show's Jason Jones takes an in-depth look at the littlest division of the KISS Army


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Daily Show: Corddry - Bird Flu Pandemic
  • "Informative docudramas are a long and brutal ordeal that rip apart the fabric of society."


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eBay says New Zealand is not for sale
  • Before eBay pulled the plug, there were about two dozen bids and the bidding had gone as high as $3,000 Australian dollars. (I'm not kidding.)


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"DWARF DRACULA: KNEE-HIGH ANKLE BITER TERRORIZING SEATTLE!"


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USATODAY.com - What makes a film a phenom?
  • March of the Penguins, Dirty Dancing, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Porky's, Blair Witch ... they don't seem to have much in common


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Letterman: "Top Ten Reasons I Love Being Dave's Mom
(As presented by Dave's Mom)"


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The HomePage of Quahog's Mayor Adam West


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The Skeletor Show, Episode 1


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"Spring Break in New Dehli!" Par-TAY!


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A science experiment determines that Viagra keeps flowers from wilting.


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George Costanza had children? Woman ditches wheelchair, flees police on foot.


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Five clips from The Wind That Shakes the Barley.

A real popcorn flick:

  • Ireland 1920: workers from field and country unite to form volunteer guerrilla armies to face the ruthless "Black and Tan" squads that are being shipped from Britain to block Ireland's bid for independence. Driven by a deep sense of duty and a love for his country, Damien abandons his burgeoning career as a doctor and joins his brother, Teddy, in a dangerous and violent fight for freedom. As the freedom fighters' bold tactics bring the British to breaking point, both sides finally agree to a treaty to end the bloodshed. However, despite the apparent victory civil war erupts and families who fought side by side find themselves pitted against one another as sworn enemies, putting their loyalties to the ultimate test.


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From Silent Bob's Myspace Blog: "Weinstein Co. has upped the 'Clerks II' release date from August 18th to JULY 21st!"


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Here's that seven minute preview of X-Men 3, if you missed it last night.


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Use your iPod Video, Nano or Photo as a Yahoo! Maps directions viewer!


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Scientist/inventors finally do something useful, create hi-tech tailgate in time for NFL season.
  • It comes complete with a low temperate meat smoker, if you're not able to date Lindsay Lohan.


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You know what just beats the hell out of N.Y. Yankee Fantasy Camp? Czech Pornstar Camp!


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"Houston Rockets forward Juwan Howard was accused today of shoplifting a $2,000 pair of sunglasses from a Miami-area optical store."
  • Ironically, they are the new line of sunglasses from the Winona Ryder Collection.


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''Lost'': Secrets of the shocking finale. (Major spoilers)
  • 'Lost': EW goes behind the scenes of the season's most anticipated finale, as the castaways uncover new secrets about the island and prepare to battle the Others


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Chris Daughtry offered a gig as the new lead singer of Fuel


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Lots more pics of Vanessa Minnillo in that c-thru Dress


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Bar-B-Q Report (because every time you look around, Lohan is smoking some fresh meat): Lindsay Lohan is now wearing the same clothes permanently


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Denise Richards has already been dumped by Richie Sambora


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"We manage to go 30 years without a faux-SNL backstage show, then suddenly NBC gives us two at once!"


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The Daily Show: "The United Nations has named some spit-take worthy nations to their Human Rights Council."


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Get Sam Spade on the case ...Somebody is stealing all the horse poop from Middlefield, Ohio


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Hillary has lost her appeal to the activist left.
  • Interesting article from England. It says that Hillary is virtually a shoo-in for nomination because she controls the Democratic machine, but will have a long row to hoe for election, and an impossibly long row if she runs against John McCain, who cuts deeply into her liberal power base.
  • Of course, McCain is far from a shoo-in for nomination, and the article does not discuss the possibility of a Hillary run against a Republican machine politician like Jeb Bush.


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Hillary has lost her appeal to the activist left.
  • Interesting article from England. It says that Hillary is virtually a shoo-in for nomination because she controls the Democratic machine, but will have a long row to hoe for election, and an impossibly long row if she runs against John McCain, who cuts deeply into her liberal power base.
  • Of course, McCain is far from a shoo-in for nomination, and the article does not discuss the possibility of a Hillary run against a Republican machine politician like Jeb Bush.


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"President Bush's job-approval rating has fallen to its lowest mark of his presidency (29%), according to a new Harris Interactive poll."
  • The President has not yet dropped below 30 in the Gallup Polls, however. Four Presidents have made the twenties at Gallup.
  • The all-time worst Gallup number belongs to Harry Truman (23%).
  • Nixon holds the record for a President elected twice - he was at 24% before he resigned.
  • One-termer Carter hit 28%, and one-termer Bush the Elder 29%.
  • No other President ever dropped below 35%, so the current President Bush's 31% already holds the record for a President serving two full terms - assuming he makes it! Reagan previously held the record at 35%. (Neither Truman nor Nixon served two full terms.)


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Sportsbook.com takes wagers on presidential approval ratings, impeachment, and other political arcana


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