Saturday, May 13, 2006

"The second round of DNA test results in the Duke University rape investigation show 'no conclusive match'' to any lacrosse players", but a 100% match to ... (wait for it) ... the victim's boyfriend.


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"Pujols fastest in history to 19 homers"
  • In 37 games, he has 19 homers and 47 RBI, putting him on pace for 83 HR, 206 RBI


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Kansas Sheriff Defends Shooting Ostrich on the basis of large and delicious drumsticks.


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Rupert Murdoch will be holding a fund-raiser for Hillary Clinton. The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid.


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The "pitch tape" for American Pornstar, a proposed reality show - sort of an American Idol for pay cable. (Extremely unsafe for work. It is both explict and ungodly loud.) This is a segemnt from a movie called National Lampoon's Lost Reality.


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Daily Box Office - Bloody Friday, May 12, 2006
  • As I predicted last week, Poseidon is a disaster picture in more ways than one. It could not wrest the #1 spot from M:i:III on Friday, despite the fact that the latter is not performing any better than expected, and is itself a disappointment.
  • It gets worse. The Lindsay Lohan movie performed poorly as well. It barely took in more per screen than American Haunting despite the fact that the latter is in its second week, and was a bomb to begin with!
  • The week's third new release, Goal, actually did less per screen than An American Haunting, and was on fewer screens to boot.
  • It appears that this will be the second straight week in which the new releases have consisted of two bombs and an underperforming pseudo-blockbuster. The cumulative effect of all those negatives is a Friday in which the top 12 were 14% below Friday, May 13, 2005, despite the fact that that day was also 14% below Friday, May 14, 2004!
  • This wasn't the time for a bad weekend. The weak lead-in to the summer places a tremendous amount of pressure on The DaVinci Code. Tom Hanks will almost single-handedly have to take on the numbers established last year by the the final Star Wars movie, which amassed more than $100 million on its opening weekend. Barring some unforeseen circumstances, look for some deficits relative to last year in the next few weeks, possibly even until Superman Returns on June 30th.


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Some of Mike Veeck's wackier baseball promotions - funny ideas.
  • Mike is the son of the equally inventive baseball legend, Bill Veeck


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"An easy-to-install, gas-powered wheel turns any ordinary bicycle into a moped "


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Mad scientists in the movies.


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Major security glitch found in Diebold voting system
  • "Armed with a little basic knowledge of Diebold voting systems and a standard component available at any computer store, someone with a minute or two of access to a Diebold touch screen could load virtually any software into the machine and disable it, redistribute votes or alter its performance in myriad ways."


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Backward-moving pulse of light travels faster than light
  • I knew that the speed of light wasn't absolute because of the day when my dad (Danny "Suits" Sparrow) outran light. Of course he still lost the race because he got such a big lead that he stopped at Denny's for the Grand Slam breakfast. To his dying day he insisted that he would have won if he had eaten the regular breakfast instead.


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"When subjects were required to perform (math) calculations in their bathing suits, the women suddenly fared worse than their male counterparts. "


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Woman frightened by Kevin Costner's penis


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Muslims plan Da Vinci boycott because it questions one of Islam's most important prophets: Jesus Christ.


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"Within the last week, Karl Rove told President Bush that he will be indicted in the CIA leak case and will immediately resign his White House job when the special counsel publicly announces the charges against him."
  • My favorite part of the story? A spokesman in the White House press office said they would not comment on "wildly speculative rumors."
  • Does that mean they will comment on mildly speculative rumors?
  • Can there be rumors which are not speculative, or would those be "facts"? OED defines a rumor as "General talk, report, or hearsay, not based upon definite knowledge." They define speculative as, "Based upon conjecture in contrast to practical or positive knowledge." My conclusion is that all rumor is speculative.
  • As for "wildly" speculative versus "mildly," I want to know who gets to determine the six degrees of speculation? I recommend Kevin Bacon.


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The Pepsi/Mentos experiment performed inside a human being


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A new trailer for Miami Vice (which looks better than I expected)


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Nicole Richie's Top Ten Signs You're Visiting a Bad Porn Web Site


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The artist TURCIOS and his weird caricatures


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If your name is Fuchs, a good profession might be Specialty Lubricants


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Images from Beerfest, the new comedy from the Broken Lizards (Super Troopers)


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