Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The gray-haired guy wins American Idol


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Photo Album: USS Oriskany (retired aircraft carrier) sunk to become an artificial reef.
  • Oriskany was scuttled in 210 feet of water in the Gulf of Mexico on 17 May


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National Review's top 50 conservative rock songs of all time


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Dreaming about the possibilities for Internet2


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Weekly World News discovers "Death's Actual Door"


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"MARY CHENEY, BLISSFULLY WELL-ADJUSTED SECOND DAUGHTER, takes your questions"


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Real Man of Genius: the Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Guy


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The six words that provide your absolute assurance of quality: Written and directed by Ben Affleck


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Jesse MacBeth's blog (Satire from Iowahawk) In case you missed the whole Jesse MacBeth thing, Here is a summary of the controversy.


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Re: Pat Robertson's one-ton leg lifts: "I know, I was thinking, 'Big surprise, Pat Robertson is a lying sack of shit.' Researching the story for myself, I found this image. Maybe he's not lying?"


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Checks, Balances & an FBI Raid on Congress
  • Get this - since the FBI is technically part of the executive branch, Congressmen claim that the system of "checks and balances" places them completely above the law, as long as they hide the evidence of their crimes in the Capitol!


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Per Pat Robertson's website, Robertson can leg-press 2000 pounds, thanks to an age-defying protein shake that Robertson personally developed.


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Deadspin - Roger Clemens update


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What do you get when you cross Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley? Penelope Cruz.


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Bruce Willis attacked by a rogue wave


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Finally! A porn movie where the Maytag guy just repairs the Maytag and leaves.
  • This comes as manna from heaven for those of us who have always wanted to enjoy the dialogue, acting and plotting of porn movies without all that pesky sex!


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Elizabeth Hurley shows off her Cannes


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William Shatner sells Commodore - "the wonder computer of the 1980s"


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Jeb Bush said he has discussed the NFL commissioner's job


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Letterman: "Top Ten Signs There's Trouble in the Clinton Marriage"


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Get Michael Rapaport on the phone. Got another role for him. Couple (one-half of which apparently has a small penis) busted after returning to the same adult store they previously shoplifted at.
  • (And they still had the stolen property in their car.)


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Cannes sex films question role of porn
  • "Directors at the Cannes film festival this year say they are using radical images of sex to challenge mainstream pornography and its widespread availability on the Internet."
  • "There are kids who have seen pornography from a very early age, before they are ever gonna have sex," said Larry Clark
  • Ironically, much of the porn which the kids have seen on the internet consists of scenes from Larry Clark's movies! It's Larry's attempt at vertical integration: provide the material to the kids, then criticize society for letting them watch it! But it gets better - his movies are essentially about underage kids having sex, so when kids see them on the internet, they copy what they see, and give Larry material for future movies!


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Cannes update: French audiences "boo" Sofia Coppola's "Antoinette"


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Dean Martin and Jimmy Stewart make the mistake of using two adjoining payphones


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Dean Martin and Orson Welles: Radio Sound Effects


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Letterman Flips Off a Viewer


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A killer reel of 1970s toy commercials


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Baltimore police update
  • Baltimore must be the only American city where firing all the police would actually make the crime rate decrease.
  • When you think about it, Baltimore's police procedures make sense as a form of vertical integration. Why wait for the criminals to create crimes for you to solve? Why not be proactive? Just have the police commit the crimes, skip the middle man, and pass the savings on to us. The police get to benefit two ways (1) by deliberately not solving the crimes, they get to keep the loot (2) they get a bigger budget to combat the crime wave. It's genius!


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Studio banks on Da Vinci prequel
  • They greenlighted a script for Dan Brown's other Robert Langdon book, Angels and Demons, creating another financial windfall for Dan, and thus encouraging other nutburgers to sue him, claiming they thought of the same bad ideas first.


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British Headline of the Day: Great tits challenge evolutionary theory
  • Don't get your hopes up. This is from the home page of Oxford University


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"Want to shoot a water balloon 140 MPH over 500ft? Then "The Douchenator" launcher is for you!"
  • I think this must have been invented by a guy I knew in college with the same name.


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KFC flags fly at half-mast: Boo Boo the Chicken Dies!
  • And she was delicious!
  • "The exotic chicken that was saved from drowning by mouth-to-beak resuscitation more than three months ago has died"
  • We never forget where we were when we heard about the death of the greats ... Boo Boo, FDR, JFK, Jim Varney.
  • The story does have a heart-warming conclusion: The chicken lived to lay three eggs before dying. "We incubated one of her eggs, and it hatched," Calhoun said. "The chick has black and white markings like Boo Boo's."
  • The End ?????


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A featurette and the trailer from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift


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"Geri Halliwell has named her baby daughter Bluebell Madonna."
  • "what really clinched it for me was my mother telling me that the bluebell is increasingly rare"
  • I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say Geri's mom has never been to Texas.


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This week's movies (3600 screens): X-Men: The Last Stand - 63% positive reviews.
  • This is the only significant new release for the week. The movie must be pretty good, because everyone was prepared to pan it because of the director change.


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This weekend's box office analysis from The Weekend Warrior
  • He thinks that the X-Men will come close to $100 million on the summer's long kick-off weekend, and that the total for the four days will be about $212 million for the top 12. That would be about 5% below last year.


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Bai Ling's nipple falls out for 55th consecutive public appearance, nears DiMaggio's record.


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Rebecca Romijn Likes her Sex Kinky and Public
  • If it's so fuckin' public, why haven't we actually seen any record of it?


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Despite mixed reviews, one scene in X-Men 3 is receiving unqualified praise. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are shown as young men with the help of remarkable CGI effects.


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"Katie's very unhappy and beginning to realize she may have made a major mistake being with Tom."
  • Took her a while, eh? One thinks she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed.


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"got a chance to see X-Men: The Last Stand on Tuesday evening and we can confirm that there is an extra clip after the ending credits. While the clip is fairly short, it is quite significant in what it reveals. So, do remember to stay in your seat until you've seen everything!"


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Since the movie opens Friday: The Top 25 X-Men of all time


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No whar but Texas ... A North Texas bridesmaid was struck by a stray bullet while preparing for the bouquet toss at her best friend's wedding reception.


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No doubt there are cultural differences from nation to nation. One thing though, will never change...the fat kid always gets picked on! (video)


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Sole Collector: for guys who REALLY take their athletic shoes seriously


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From Cheerleader Guy: "The only thing better than cheerleaders is cheerleaders in bikinis. Click the video to see the Redskins Cheerleaders making their swimsuit calendar."


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Voyager II detects solar system's edge


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Throwing his full support behind the recent initiative to make English the official language of the United States, President Bush has stated through an interpreter that he is prepared to learn the language himself.


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Superman's new power is FABULOUS!


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"Late Teamster leader Jimmy Hoffa appeared in a new video broadcast worldwide today in which he taunted the Federal Bureau of Investigation for failing to find him in their recent search for his remains."


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Pujols goes yard again. 23 HR, 57 RBI


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