Wednesday, June 28, 2006

This week in Unnecessary Censorship


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A handy checklist of links to (fully dressed) pics of hot female celebs


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Superman and Spider-Man, as imagined by some people who are very Italian and very mad.


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WORDCOUNT / - the 86,800 most common words in English
  • Although I was not suprised to see that "the," "of," and "and" finished 1-2-3, I did not expect "Brangelina" to finish fourth.


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Jeopardy nerd Ken Jennings now has a blog.


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"Blige, Brown, West, Foxx lead BET winners"


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Headline of the day goes to USA Today: "Hasselhoff sings and acts, and has been known to cry"


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Hey Colbert - threat alert! "A freedom-loving grizzly bear named Boo smashed a heavy steel door and barreled through two electric fences to escape a second time from a BC resort."


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"IN BID FOR AMNESTY, DeLAY BECOMES IRAQI INSURGENT ... Former Texas Lawmaker Changes Name to Hassan El-Medfaai"


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Colbert wrestles with Hardball host Chris Matthews - literally!


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Colbert Report: "Cold, Dead Fingers: They're trying to take away our guns!"


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Colbert Report: Conservative Rock Songs


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Colbert Report: Flagburning Amendment... One Vote Shy "Is there no one who loves our flag enough to burn one just to remind us how horrible it is?"


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Colbert Report: Movies Destroying America: Summer Edition 2006


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"Daily Show: Headlines - A Times to Kill. Some critics claim that when the government's in trouble they get all Nine-Eleventy up in this bitch."


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Daily Show: "Ed Helms investigates the double entendre behind the Pink Taco restaurant in Arizona."


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The Daily Show looks at the Freedom vs Security issue


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Jon Stewart interviews the venerable newshound Helen Thomas


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Weekly World News: "BUSH TO STAR ON FOX'S 24?
Rove Fears Role May Confuse Constituents"


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"Kate Beckinsale Gives Her Husband a Head ... " (Or not.)


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It seems Harper's Bazaar feels that Britney Spears naked and pregnant is a worthwhile cover subject.


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A classic from The Onion: Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years


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Separated at birth: Britney Spears and Ursula the Octopus: Britney Spears of the sea


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Some clips from Overdrive
  • "Two wealthy sisters (the Duff sisters), both heiresses to their family's cosmetics fortune, are given a wake-up call when a scandal and ensuing investigation strip them of their wealth."


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The trailer for The Backwoods
  • "Virginie Ledoyen and Paddy Considine play a young married couple at the end of the 1970s, who come to visit a friend (Oldman) who now lives in the Basque region because he has married a woman from there (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon). Their tranquil summer turns to horror when they discover a girl with horribly mutilated hands in the forest. They try to help her by taking her away from the home in which she is locked, but the local villagers, who have to protect the girl, start a pursuit in the forest they know much better than the visitors."


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"Watch Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher in the trailer for 'The Guardian.'"
    Costner and Kutcher together? Let me guess what it's about: a father and son with thick Hungarian-Jewish accents (Costner and Kutcher) are emotionally devastated when they find that they are both in love with the same woman, and she's dying of cancer. They weep like babies throughout the film, and speak philosophically of the nature of life.
  • Or maybe they're laconic and stoical heroes in the Coast Guard, each essentially playing himself.
  • Could go either way.


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"U.S. THREATENS TO LAUNCH ANN COULTER TOWARDS NORTH KOREA" ... Rabid Pundit Could Destroy Entire Korean Peninsula, U.N. Warns


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Next Generation - THE TEN GREATEST YEARS IN GAMING


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"The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday agreed to take up a case involving one of the thornier questions in patent law: What makes an invention 'obvious'--and therefore unworthy of a patent?"
  • This is one of the thorniest elements of intellectual property law, especially as it relates to the internet. People are alwasy claiming that they own the patent on something like the pop-up window, the .jpg, content delivered in a separate frame, and other such universal elements of web construction.
  • According to the linked article, somebody claims he owns the patent on the gas pedal!


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Now - play K-Fed on line - you're a bouncer and must keep K-Fed from your club. (wait about a minute for it to load)


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Straight Dope Staff Report: How much money do panhandlers make?


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The Rocket tosses six good innings, but the Astros fail to score him any runs.


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Thanks for the mammaries: "The average size of the American breast has grown from 34B to 36C, according to manufacturers."


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Could Mario Lopez defeat A.C. Slater


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South Park episode: Scott Tenorman Must Die


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Mellow 20th century classic: Duke Ellington & His Orchestra play Satin Doll
  • This is your only chance to hear this song outside of an elevator


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Hey, kids ... Let's color Billy Ray Cyrus


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25 craziest widely-reported deaths in the last 100 years


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Michael Jackson to reignite his career in Europe
  • He figured if they buy into Hasselhoff, anything is possible. He has been seen looking around Ireland, possibly scouting home sites.


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High-tech efforts aim to track wooden cow thieves
  • In Texas, our attitude depends entirely on disambiguation. If by wooden cow thieves, you mean, like bad actors stealing real cows, then we hang 'em.
  • If you mean wooden robots stealing real cows, we burn' em - and then we hang the evil scientists controlling them.
  • On the other hand, if you mean thieves who steal wooden cows, we honor them with statues and memorials. Austin even has the Tomb of the Unknown Wooden Cow Thief.


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