Friday, July 28, 2006

Letterman's Top Ten Dumb Guy Ideas For Lowering Gas Prices
  • Really cheap self-service price if you drill the oil and refine it yourself


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Letterman's Top Ten Floyd Landis Excuses


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Hollywood biggie blasts Lohan in writing


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A master street magician!


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Us Weekly - What Will Hollywood Star Kids Look Like in 2026


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Another discussion starter: The Top 50 Movie Endings of All Time
  • The top three make sense. Some of their other choices are just filler, while two of the all-time greatest endings (Angel Heart and Se7en) are not listed at all. Some other great endings might have made the list, like Waterhole #3, The Devil's Advocate, Body Heat, The Crying Game, and Sophie's Choice.


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Colbert Report: Condoleeza Rice loses a spelling bee


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"Ambassador Bolton (aka Colonel Mustard) is bringing the whole world together -- in their opposition to him."
  • Colbert says he should not only be confirmed, but should be made Secretary-General


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Colbert's Better Know a District ... District of Columbia


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Jon Stewart is shocked - shocked - to discover that Lance Bass is gay.


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The Daily Show: "In 2001, our own Steve Carell got an exclusive interview with the now-gay Lance Bass."


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Kazaa agrees to pay $100 million to the record industry


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"Microsoft plans to automatically push Internet Explorer 7 to Windows XP users when the browser update is ready later this year. IE 7 will be delivered in the fourth quarter as a 'high priority' update via Automatic Updates in Windows XP." (It will, however, ask you to decide whether you want to do the upgrade.)


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Pam Anderson roast gets so nasty that Pammy walks out!


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The top ten earners in sports
  • Tiger Woods's annual earnings are estimated at nearly $100 million. That'll almost buy a dozen Titleists.
  • The weirdest entry in the top 20: Michael Finley of the Spurs, an average NBA player.


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Say waht you want about Denise Richards, the girl knows what to do with a hose.


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So, Is Halle Berry Pregnant?
  • Damn, you would think so. She and I have been having sex several times a day for the last year.


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Having a bad day? Would it help to see Victoria Silvstedt masturbating in public?


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Harry Potter will wave his wand on stage in nude role


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Office Space in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.


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Mel Gibson arrested for DUI
  • He was driving drunk and speeding on the Pacific Coast Highway! .... er .. allegedly.


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This week's wide release movies. Update.

Percent of positive reviews:

  • Miami Vice 51%
  • Ant Bully 60%
  • John Tucker Must Die 22%
  • Scoop 41%. Beware of that 41% for Scoop. Many reviewers automatically give Woody Allen a pass on criticism. The more candid critics said: "Poop," "feeble," "slapped together," "the direction is lazy and the script throughly witless," and "Allen's latest exercise in laziness." The New York Daily News wrote: "To see Allen, now 70, trying to reclaim the persona he's been handing off is like watching Willie Mays fall down trying to hit a curve ball during his last season."


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From our "the yolks on you" department. What will your egg say, Timmy?
  • Beats me, Dad. I still haven't figured out what my Mary will say. But if I don't leave, I'll be sorry.


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Horse head pillow
  • It's a real product, but also a funny page, written with tongue deep within cheek. "Revenge is a dish best served stuffed! A custom severed horse head plush that is actually quite comfortable to sleep on, albeit a tad on the south side of morbid."


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This is a great outdoor advertising idea


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The Rangers pick up Carlos Lee. Hey, the Rangers may not win the World Series, but they put on a great offensive show, and it will get even better.


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Just in theory. If you were ot buy celebrity shit, whose doo-doo would be the most expensive? (This site actually sells celebrity DNA. Or at least claims to.)


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Mighty Optical Illusions


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Colbert wonders what is so bad about marrying one's cousin.


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Stephen's Sound Advice: Colbert advises what to do in a blackout.


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Colbert looks at the Middle East, says Democracy actually sucks, and calls for Saddam's return.


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Colbert Report: Superhero Stamps ... No Captain America???


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Jon Stewart discusses the president's joint press conference with the Iraqi PM


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