Monday, August 14, 2006

ABC Dance Show to feature Springer, A.C. Slater, and tutti-frutti TV "personality" Tucker Carlson


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Sulu roasts Captain Kirk


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Betty White recalls the time she and William Shatner had sex. Two minutes before the Roast started.


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That "pointy-eared pussy" Nimoy explains why he's not going to attend "douchebag" Shatner's roast


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Seven dwarfs more famous than Supreme Court
  • Asked what planet Superman was from, 60 percent named the fictional planet Krypton, while only 37 percent knew that Mercury is the planet closest to the sun.
  • Respondents were far more familiar with the Three Stooges -- Larry, Curly and Moe -- than the three branches of the U.S. government -- judicial, executive and legislative. Seventy-four percent identified the former, 42 percent the latter.


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Swedish pirate party launches world's first commercial darknet


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First review of Pan's Labyrinth (Guillermo del Toro's ambitious new film.)


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Castro's birthday wish comes true.


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Here is the home page of Ursula Martinez. Before you mess with this page, be sure to catch her totally nude magic act (below).
  • "She sets fire to her tits, interrogates her parents, re-defines class, blurs fiction with reality, cures homosexuals, gives birth to penises, tells autobiographical stories, deconstructs performance and sings South London suburban flamenco - from high brow to low brow, from spectacle to confessional, from live art to light entertainment, Ursula Martinez produces solo and collaborative performance for theatre, site-specific, installation, cabaret, night club, film, television…… birthdays, weddings and Barmitzvahs!"


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British entertainer Ursula Martinez: "Hanky Panky" act. She does a trick with a hankerchief while stripping and pulling faces like Molly Shannon.


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"Orange you glad to be a Buc?"


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Who's a 99 this year? "Madden NFL 07: Rosters and Ratings. A full breakdown of every player in the NFL."


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Tip o' the day: If you plan to dump Carmen Electra, have a solid back-up plan


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Video: "Girl takes pic of herself every day for three years"


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Time-lapse pregnancy: a 9-month picture progression


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Cool! How to make a photoshop matte painting


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Kevin Smith discusses Aquaman 2


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Ranking the Bobby D's


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Color photos of London in the late 1940s.


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Latino Review has an exclusive script review of Vin Diesel's Hitman


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Squirrel cuts power to 10,000 citizens


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LOHAN SENDS LETTER TO STALKER OVER STALKING ABSENCES
  • Rumors have speculated that the stalker’s partying ways were what really caused him to miss several days of stalking. “You’ve been discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional,” wrote Lohan. “You’ve acted like a spoiled child whose lousy work ethic has cost me considerable damage.”


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CELEBRITIES GET PRE-ARREST MUG SHOTS
  • “Great mug shots don’t happen by accident,” said photographer Annie Leibovitz. “Mel Gibson signed up for my service months before his arrest, but Nick Nolte didn’t. The advantage is obvious.”


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SCREECH GOES ON ANTI-SEMITIC RAMPAGE
  • ... but fails to generate a response from Jewish community leaders. “We know about those remarks,” said Marvin Blau of the Jewish Defense Federation. “But it’s only that ‘Screech’ guy. If he didn’t say it to Mr. Belding, it’s not worth getting worked up about.”
  • Diamond’s wife complained that her husband wasn’t being properly condemned in the media for his behavior.


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The trailer for Sleeping Dogs Lie, which was written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait


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ComingSoon.net now has trailers, teasers and a clip from Day Watch (the sequel to Night Watch)


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The trailer for Saw 3


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This is kind of an interesting interpretation of Deadwood: 'Deadwood' brings modern message to Wild West


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The Phillies suck, but you sure can't blame this guy! Howard is an anomaly in two ways.
  • Almost all of the game's best hitters entered the majors while quite young. Howard didn't become a regular until mid-season last year, when he was already 25 1/2, and seven full years past his high school graduation. And he would not have gotten a chance even then, except that Jim Thome was injured and the Phils had no other choice! He was a fifth-round draft pick, and spent five full seasons in the minors, including three below the AA level.
  • Almost all of the great home run hitters pull the ball. Howard has hit most of his homers to the opposite field, which means that the 260 pounder is so damned strong that he even hits his mistakes out of the park. I can only think of one other power hitter who hit most of his homers to the opposite field, and that was Bo Jackson, but Bo never hit more than than 32 in a year. Howard already has 41 in mid-August, and hit another 11 in Spring training in just 85 at-bats.


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It's August 14th, and ... you're on notice ...


Today's notes:


  • Blue Ball, Pennsylvania. So tantalizingly close to Intercourse that it's frustrating.
  • Fozzie Bear. Using jovial front to disguise a godless killing machine. Wokka, wokka, splat.
  • Homosassa Springs. It's on double secret notice. Not only is it sapping America's manly essence, but it is also sheltering terrorist manatees for future Hudson River attacks. Do NOT drink from it. Look what happened to Liberace. He used to talk like James Earl Jones - then ... one little sip of Homosassa water.
  • Big-butt queen ants are growing in popularity. And it's going to get worse. "Andres Santamaria was given a $40,000 grant to develop an environmentally sustainable, export-oriented program for breeding the ants." Don't be fooled by their appearance. Sure they look delicious covered in creamy Belgian chocolate with just a dash of nougat, but they can kill you ... or worse. Look what happened to J-Lo after just one tempting bite of the elegantly-packaged "culonas."


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