Friday, August 18, 2006

Calif. woman sues over mannequin attack


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Woman accused of heroin-soaked panties


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By the new dozen-planet definition, Earth's Moon Will Eventually Become a "Planet". Of course, it will take a while ... a few billion years.


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The Chosen One's parents are going through rough times
  • Meanwhile, Shiloh has been changing her baby formula into wine.
  • Did Mary and Joseph bicker all the time as well? If I remember correctly, they spent many years traipsing through Africa, just like Brangelina.
  • Did the first century reporters call them Moseph?


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Colbert covers California's 31st district


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Colbert discusses the number of planets ...

Part 2 of the Pluto debate


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Daily Show: Who is helping the Lebanese refugees? Here's a hint: their name rhymes with 'Lezbollah'"


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Jon Stewart interviews Matt Dillon


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JonBenet coverage: Corddry '06 versus Corddry '97


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Stewart calculates the algebra of cable news coverage.


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"Daily Show: Slow News Day: MTV's Bday
  • Morning show reporters break out their best 'Thriller' dance moves.


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Rapidshare: Film clips of every minute of Jennifer Connelly nudity


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Which studio got the better of the Bryan Singer deal?


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ZOO Magazine's 100 Sexiest Bodies - 2006


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Urban Legends Reference Pages: "The English language has at least one nine-letter word that remains a valid word as each of its letters is successively removed. "


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Breast implants save woman after Hezbollah attack


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Bathroom Habits Survey


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The history of Schwag


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The Prayer Antenna


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Concert Ticket Generator - prove to your wife you were really ... um ... "at the game." Yeah, at the game, that's the ticket. No, really, that's literally the ticket.


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Note to self: do NOT fly to St. Maarten


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Probe captures gas bursts from Mars's ice cap.
  • Earth-bound photographers photographed a similar phenomenon last winter at John Goodman's house


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Proposal would increase planets from 9 to 12 - and would make Pluto's moon a planet!


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Motherfuckin' celebrities at the premiere of Motherfuckin' Snakes on a Motherfuckin' Plane


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Letterman: "Top Ten Bill Clinton 60th Birthday Plans"
  • Same thing he does every day - bucket of KFC and a lap dance
  • Depends on what your definition of the word 'plans' is


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The Arkansas Constitution disqualifies atheists from holding office or testifying as witness! (This is not kidding around.)


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Colbert's Hiphopketball A Jazzebration


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Twilight Zone: The Midnight Sun. The Earth's orbit has been changed, drawing ever closer to the sun and promising imminent destruction.


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RIP: TRIX RABBIT 1958-2005
  • "On August 17, 2006 the famous Trix rabbit finally got the children's cereal he so craved, and was able to eat it without anyone stopping him. Within minutes, he went into toxic shock and died. Unbeknownst to him, many ingredients in the cereal were poisonous to rabbits."


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Democrats Shift Slightly to the Left, Lenin's Corpse Wins Connecticut Primary


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Tim Allen's Zoom did it - 0% positive reviews. Polish up some Razzies for the lad.


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This week's movies: Accepted - 2900 screens - 36% positive reviews


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This week's movies: You are not going to believe this. Snakes on a Plane - 3500 screens- 83% good reviews
  • The general consensus: a truly stupid movie, and therefore a must-see event.


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The latest on the Fantastic Four Sequel


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Bush Lowers Expectations on Iraq to Partial Fiasco
  • But he lashed out at critics who called the invasion of Iraq a total fiasco, saying, "If we continue to make progress at the rate we are going, we will have a moderate fiasco on our hands."


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Virgin Mary appears in melted chocolate (It looks like a falcon to me)


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John Mark Karr, the suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey slaying, once married a 12-year-old girl after getting her to lie about her age


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Chicago bans foie gras
  • Did you ever think there would be a day when Chicago would ban a type of meat. "Chicago, hog-butcher for the world, stormy, husky, brawling city of the big shoulders?"
  • I would expect this of certain sissy, PC cities which I could name, but Chi Town? "Here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities. Show me another city with lifted head singing, so proud to be alive and coarse."
  • I guess the Sandberg poem will require a re-write

    "They tell me you are a pansy and I believe them

    For I have heard them outlaw your food

    And I have seen you kow-tow to their whiny voices

    Submissive as a bested dog"


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Meet Johnny Gallagher, worst comedian/impressionist ever


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Randomly weird sentence of the day: "Utah's capital also has a strange interest in 'gerbils,' second only to Cincinnati."


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It's August 18th, and ... you're on notice:



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