Monday, October 02, 2006

The promo video for America's hottest video game, World of ColbertCraft


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Genius scientists discover that people are not sexually aroused by "Best Bits of Mr Bean."


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Gay governor Jim McGreevey fails to present his top ten chapter titles on David Letterman


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Paris Hilton Flashes Her Ass


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K-Fed's bodyguard smacks photographer - a female photographer


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Damn! I guess Da Bears are for real
  • They have allowed only 29 points in four games, best in the NFL, and they've scored 119, second best in the NFL. Look at it another way. The Colts are 4-0 because they arguably have the league's strongest offense. The Ravens are 4-0 because they have arguably the league's best defense. The Bears have been as strong on offense as the undefeated-because-of-offense Colts, and as strong on defense as the undefeated-because-of-defense Ravens. That's impressive.


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Answering a reader question: "Why didn't Joe DiMaggio get into the Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility? He retired in 1951, but wasn't elected until 1955, even though there was no five-year waiting period in 1952."


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Speaking of Fahrenheit 451 and irony ... Protest group demands that Wal-Mart stop selling the Bible because of its obscene content.
  • In fact, they make a very good case!


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Here's one to use up your irony quota for the day: Texas yokels want to burn Fahrenheit 451. (OK, they obviously didn't understand the book but, hey, I'm impressed they could read it at all!)


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The Dutch have voted themselves Europe's third most loutish, bad-mannered nation behind Russia and France
  • Groundskeeper Willie has filed a formal protest because the voting was restricted only to people with independent nations


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"Britney Spears loves stripping off, and only feels really happy when she’s naked."
  • Ya know, there was a time when that would have been kind of a turn-on.


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"Jessica Biel is a Man, Baby!"
  • I know she's a fitness buff, but I think maybe she's a bit too serious about it. Those are some mighty heavy muscles.


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Elvis fucked Marilyn Monroe


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A transcript of Congressman Foley's IM chat with a teen boy


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Waco song swept up in immigration fireworks
  • There's a new underground country hit, "So Long, Texas - Hello, Mexico!," about a cowboy who moves to Mexico to demand free government health care and that all documents be printed in English just for him.  There's a growing debate over whether it's funny or racist.
  • Why can't it be both? No reason why racists can't be funny. To assume racists have no sense of humor would be racist, wouldn't it? Just as one example, there were the wacky racists.
  • Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here's the song.
 


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George Michael has been arrested and cautioned after being found once again slumped over the wheel of his car in London
  • OK, "arrested" I can see, but "cautioned"? Is that kind of barbaric cruelty permitted under international law? Man, those bobbies are tough. We need to get them involved in anti-terrorism. "Stop, Osama bin Laden. I caution you in the name of the crown."
  • Michael immediately responted to the stern cautioning with a solemn oath to change his life completely. He will never again be found slumped over the wheel of his car in London. He's moving to Guildford.


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Which dead celeb is your perfect love-match?
  • My soul-mate is Mata Hari


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SNL: Cubicle Fight - Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves


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Brian Williams shows up on SNL to anchor Weekend Update


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Owens mulls rehab for publicity addiction.
  • Ain't that the truth. Sportscenter seems to feature him in every show for years. Then, just when they're ready to stop talking about him, comes his might-or-might-not-be suicide attempt, and he's back in the headlines again. He's the Elizabeth Taylor of athletes.


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