Sunday, December 10, 2006

Today's salute is from Other Crap's "What were they thinking of?" series:

Babs in the buff


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Blood Diamond as reviewed by the Shakespeare of film criticism, The Filthy Critic
Never does a hot woman look less hot than when she is spouting statistics off that annoying page of self-righteous horseshit that Harper's puts into every issue. She has no personality beyond spouting things that Ed Zwick really thinks he needs to tell us."

OOPS! I screwed the pooch on this one. I mentioned in an article below that Blood Diamond got "respectable reviews" (58% at Rotten Tomatoes). I wrote that when I thought it was an actioner. I didn't know it was a liberal sermon movie. 58% positive reviews would indicate a pretty decent thriller, but that level is about as low as liberal sermon movies ever go. A 58% for a liberal sermon movie is not much better than the 0% for Van Wilder 2. My bad on this one, and thanks to the unwashed one for clearing it up.


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St. Louis police say a woman shot her husband four to five times in the chest after he tried giving her a warm can of beer.


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NFL Scoreboard, December 10
The Colts, Cowboys, and Pats all got shellacked, losing by at least three TDs each. The Chargers, who crushed Denver, have clinched their division and are starting to look like the team to beat in the AFC.

Crazy stat of the day: Carolina's QB, Chris Weinke, threw 61 passes for 423 yards (helluva day for a back-up quarterback) - but was only able to produce one TD. Carolina amassed far more total yardage than the Giants but lost by 14. Those interceptions can kill ya.


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Kazakhstan has unveiled a new sci-fi architectural project - a giant transparent tent that will contain an indoor city.
The idea is to recreate summer, so that when the outside temperature is -30C, the residents of the Kazakh capital can play outdoor tennis, take boat rides or sip coffee on the pavement cafes.


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The worst Christmas specials and TV movies ever
Surviving Christmas. A contemporary stab at the worst Christmas movie of all time, this 2004 comedy starred Ben Affleck as a spoiled millionaire who hires a suburban Chicago clan to be his family at Christmas time. Ben forces the likes of Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) to wear a Santa hat - but sadly, he doesn't get whacked. So dreadful, Fox released it theatrically in October.


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When, why and how did history start making Jesus look like a Western European?
In all likelihood, what they were was olive-skinned, dark-featured Semitic Jews living in Israel. Yet depictions of them as such are exceedingly rare compared to the countless number of images that have proliferated through the millennia portraying them as Caucasians.

In addition to the points made by the article, there is also no solid justification for the typical portrayal of Christ's long, straight hair. It is more likely that he had short hair, since 1 Corinthians says, "If a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him." As for the texture, the only description of it in the bible compares it to wool, so it would not be unreasonable to picture it curly. Several forensic anthropologists and biblical scholars addressed this issue a few years ago and came up with a "most likely" scenario for Christ's appearance.

Why the difference between reality and evolved tradition? As Xenophanes wrote, five hundred years before Christ's time, "If cattle or horses had hands and could draw, then the horses would draw their gods like horses, and cattle like cattle."


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Weekend Box Office Results for December 8-10
Three straight weeks of uninspired new releases seem to have left moviegoers with the feeling that nothing good is playing, and the overall box was down 25% from the equivalent weekend last year.

Apocalypto won the race, but with a tepid $14 million

The biggest bomb was Blood Diamond, which received respectable reviews and stars a big name in DiCaprio, but was greeted with total indifference.

Last week's films have virtually disappeared from the list. Only Nativity Story clung to a spot in the top twelve, and even that at a lowly eighth.

Next week should provide some relief, with the opening of Charlotte's Web, Eragon, and Will Smith's latest, plus a sneak preview of We Are Marshall



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A video montage of every one of Ray Harryhausen's creatures, in chronological order


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Misfortune Cookies


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Twilight Zone - I Am the Night Color Me Black. The sun does not rise on the day an innocent man is to be hanged.


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"Bruno" attends a fashion show
Bruno is Borat's twin - another one of Sacha Baron Cohen's characters, in this case a gay Austrian designer. It's amazing how he can get people to say such outrageous stuff, and even contradict themselves repeatedly.


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Martin Scorsese's little-known holiday special, Raging Rudolph


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Ten TV news choppers cover a yard sale. Guess which city?
The everything-must-go "Tory Spelling Dazzling Studio City Estate Sale" quickly reached feverish proportions that, even by Hollywood standards, teetered on the surreal. Ten TV news helicopters hovered overhead, camera crew trucks blocked the road resulting in traffic jams resulting in angry neighbors resulting in a police response. The paparazzi prowled Dona Lisa Drive angling for a glimpse of the couple inside ... (much more chaos described in the story)


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Headline of the day: "Pope advocates religious symbols in public places"
Quick, polish up a Pulitzer, and give this reporter the Woodward and Bernstein award for daring to reveal even the most hidden secrets in this hard-hitting, no-holds-barred example of investigative journalism.


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Why do they call it a "station wagon"?


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My Way News - Overloaded Pants End Shoplifter's Escape
... teenager arrested for shoplifting had filled her pockets with so many items that her weighted-down pants dropped to her ankles as she tried to run out of the store


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