Monday, January 01, 2007


It would be nice if our good wishes for the New Year would come true and cause this page to be blank. But in your heart, you know it's gonna be an "other crappy" year. More Lohan. More Paris Hilton. A dozen more Eric Roberts movies. 2007 - you're all mine! (Diabolical laughter)


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USC cheerleader forgets to wear her underwear to the Rose Bowl


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The law forbids a man to own ladies' underwear.


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"They videotaped a 2-year-old girl drinking shots of tequila and smoking cigarettes, because they thought it would be funny."


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"'The things people want to do with the Hamm's Bear is unbelievable,' says the Hamm's Bear, sitting in a booth at Grumpy's in northeast Minneapolis. 'Off the charts. It gets weirder every time.'"


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The Lions screw up even in victory
They played brilliantly against Dallas - thus costing themselves the #1 draft pick!


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Hostel II takes gruesome graphics a step over the line


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25% of Americans think Jesus is coming in 2007
They are the same ones who are mad at Gwyneth Paltrow for saying that the British are smarter than Americans.


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"The Devil made that rock look that old to turn you away from God"
The devil has a little workshop where he makes things appear much older than they are. He calls it JF Sebastian Industries. In fact, he spent several weeks on 22-year-old Abe Vigoda.


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What if they gave a state funeral and nobody came?
Poor ol' Gerry Ford. He was the Rodney Dangerfield of politics


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The ten lamest superheroes of all time
This isn't a humor piece about characters he's making up specifically for the article. It's about ten characters who really appeared in titles from major comic book publishers. Very interesting stuff written by a real expert.


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TIME Top Ten video games of 2006
"There is no possible way to say this enough times: great graphics don't make great games. Perfect Dark Zero looked like a Titian, but it was a snooze. Wii Sports, a sports anthology that includes golf, boxing, tennis, baseball and bowling, looks like Colecovision. The little guys on the screen don't even have arms. But it's hilarious, and it shows off the power of the motion-sensitive Wii controller to put you right in the game, sweating and yelling and trying crazy spins and lunges and angles."


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How did video cellphones get into Saddam's execution site?


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The History of Video Games, starting with Atari
This is a fascinating feature-length documentary - a real insider look


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Here is the trailer for that noted box office champion, Zyzzyx Road (see story below)
Do you think there will be one of those "Oscar screeners"?


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Zyzzyx Road was released on February 25th of 2006 in one theater in Dallas, where it played for six days and grossed 30 dollars.
"That would be an average of five dollars per day, although Box Office Mojo tells us that the film actually made the bulk of its money ( twenty bucks) on the opening weekend."


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You probably remember Shaft as one of the great male sex symbols of the seventies, but I'll bet you've forgotten the raw sexual energy of Jimmy Carter.


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1988 Commodore Amiga TV Ad, starring Tommy Lasorda, three astronauts, the Pointer Sisters, and "Tip" O'Neill


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Lucas says 4th Indiana Jones will shoot in 2007
Script is done; Harrison Ford to return as character; first one in 18 years


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SADDAM HUSSEIN EXECUTED: President's Official Statement (Satire from WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
"I confess to being very sad right now. Not because Saddam is dead, but because while I'm here in Crawford, my little chart - the one where I put a big black "X" through the faces of my enemies once they've been slaughtered - is all the way back at the Oval Office. And now I have to wait until next week to "X" that sucker out! With the death of Saddam, of course, will come eternal peace and happiness throughout the Middle East. Verdant oases will spring from parched patches of blood-spattered desert. Camels will poop roasted garlic hummus."


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Nudes created with nothing other than symbols found on a computer keyboard.
Pretty damned impressive and stylish. The sort of thing Andy Warhol would be doing if he had not entered The Big Sleep.


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Favre leaves a winner - but is he really leaving?
Tough call when he has that acting career beckoning him to Hollywood. I hear he's up for the lead in "There's Something MORE About Mary"


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BOB WOODWARD'S ULTIMATE SCOOP: GALLOWS INTERVIEW WITH SADDAM
"Wearing the black hood of the executioner to conceal his identity, a trick he learned during Watergate days from Deep Throat, Woodward extracted truly remarkable revelations from Saddam, even as Woodward placed the noose around the doomed man's neck."


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