Thursday, January 25, 2007

Here's the latest batch of Paris Hilton videos
These are all different from the ones linked previously


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The Ten Worst Rap Album Covers Ever


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Robocop, Ph.D?
Whatever happened to Peter Weller? He still acts now and then, but Buckaroo Banzai is now working full-time toward a Ph.D in Italian Renaissance art history from UCLA. "This is no vanity degree; Weller teaches courses, writes papers, and is doggedly climbing the academic ladder" like any non-celebrity.


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Fun Facts About The End of the World.
Whether it's two billion years from now, when the Sun will no longer provide enough heat to support life on earth, or two hours from now in a nuclear holocaust, life on earth will inevitably come to an end. All religious traditions grapple [wiki] with this fact. Here's what they've come up with so far.


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A video consisting of nothing but nipple-slips!


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Just to prove that just about anything can be found on the internet: American hood ornaments from 1933-1966
OK, hood ornaments are an obscure and nerdy topic, but the guy does a nice job on the presentation. Here's a reduced size sample:


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A salute to the bizarre baobab tree


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Rumors of Cat Mafia Sweep Berlin
I know it sounds like a headline from The Onion, but it's a real article about catnapping.

I have to say that if I were going to be a fur-trading catnapper, I think I'd choose Rome rather than Berlin. You can probably nab all the kitties you like without ever touching anyone's pets. The city may even give you a medal.


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Tyra Banks is stunned by "meanness" over "fat" photos
Here is the photo she's referring to. She really doesn't look bad at all.


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Get A Job
"Out-of-print and hard to find, Brad Caslor's 1985 film "Get A Job" follows the tribulations of a cartoon character, Bob Dog, as he hunts for a job. Technically, it's an "educational film" dealing with self-motivation, preparing a resume, contacting people by phone and mail, getting ready for an interview and the interview itself. More than that it's a brilliant homage to Bob Clampett, Tex Avery and other cartoon animators of the 1940's"


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Mr Beaver tries to teach children about a beaver's point of view, but human females misunderstand the beaver-cam (from Epic Movie)


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Red Sox resolve contract issues with J.D. Drew


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Celebs naked in public
Warning: male and female


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State of the Union Gets Baghdad Makeover
The State of the Union, Middle Eastern version, as spun by the 102nd Information Massaging Battalion. "It was the responsibility of the Fibbin' 102nd to take Tuesday's SOTU address and repackage it in a form the Iraqis could understand and relate to."


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ESPN.com - Jason Schmidt could drive Dodgers to top


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Scientific American.com: The 20 Hottest Gadgets From the 2007 Consumer Electronics Show


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John Hodgman solves six mysteries of the universe
"Do nonhuman animals have culture?
Yes. Anyone who has read Watership Down knows that animals have religion, art, literature, and Owsla - the four pillars of culture as defined by most experts. But it's not just rabbits who are writing novels. Did you know that Absalom, Absalom! was written by snakes?"


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Here's Optimus Prime from the new Transformers movie


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University of Calgary professor Piers Steel has determined that procrastination has been on the rise in society
And he's thinking maybe soon he'll publish that study. Maybe next year.


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'Playboy' refuses Kelly Osbourne
When Hef was asked asked if he'd give Kelly a centerfold, the randy octogenarian replied "I can't see it happening - we don't airbrush to that extent."


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Van Halen Reuniting with David Lee Roth For Summer Tour
Why did they mend their fences? Follow the money. Simoleans. Sponduliks. Clams. Big Bens. G-notes. Marigold. The long green. Philadelphia Peppermint. Poon Lubricant. Republican Soul. Pocket cabbage. The Fabulous Moolah. The School of Fort Knocks. The Queen's Pajamas.


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K-Fed-Ex Commercial Upsets Restaurant Workers
"The idea is to have Federline living out a menagerie of rap cliches before he's snapped back into reality - that being his life at a fast food restaurant with his screaming boss. The National Restaurant Association complains that the ad denigrates restaurant workers."

It shows their job requires so little skill that even K-Fed can do it!


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"How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone."
So, who do you suppose has written this latest Hollywood tell-all about his sexual adventures and misadventures? Who is the legendary Hollywood Casanova? Clooney? Beatty?

Well, let's just say he loved a lot more than Joanie!

I'm going to pass on this one. I can only afford one Happy Days tell-all, and I'm waiting for Pottsie's book.

All kidding aside, he has some good stories. You have to read the Liza Minnelli stuff. Chachi recalls Liza Minnelli asking him for a sperm sample so she could fertilize her egg and have a surrogate mother carry their baby. She said, "I really want your sperm. You're a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That's what I want my child to be." As The Comedy Wire pointed out, Liza had a husband, but he also wanted a young, good-looking Italian guy.


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ROTTEN TOMATOES: This week's movies
You know it's going to be a bad week. It's Thursday and only one of the four new wide releases has been reviewed - and that one (Smokin' Aces) scores 33% - and 0% from the top reviewers!


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The Weekend Warrior's analysis of the box office prospects for the upcoming weekend
Four more mediocre movies pretty much assure that another weekend will be tepid at best, maybe far worse. He thinks that Epic Movie and Smokin' Aces will finish 1-2, but pretty much by default.


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Bears Inspire A City Still Reeling From Great Chicago Fire
"As Brian Urlacher triumphantly hoisted the George Halas Trophy Sunday, it was a symbol of more than just the Bears' victory - it was a symbol of hope to the thousands of Chicagoans who are still struggling to resume normal lives after the fire that swept through a 2,000-acre swath of downtown, killed over 300 people, injured hundreds more, destroyed a third of Chicago's buildings, and left 100,000 residents homeless this past Oct. 8 through Oct. 10, 1871."


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CBS declares Aishwarya Rai to be "The World's Most Beautiful Woman"
A CBS spokesman denied vehemently that the network was making a shameless stab to demonstrate its cultural sophistication.

Cynicism aside, she is a beautiful woman ... one of a hundred thousand or so who could be awarded that title by someone or another.


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"Oldest Living Person" Curse strikes again
"A 114-year-old Connecticut woman, Emma Faust Tillman, is now believed to be the oldest living person. Tillman, listed by Guinness World Records' Web site as a former servant for famed actress Katharine Hepburn, was born Nov. 22, 1892."

Ms Tillman was unavailable to comment on her new status, as she was in Adelaide with her Aussie Rules Football team. Turns out playing Aussie Rules is the key to a long life.


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Colts plan to walk a straight, narrow line in Miami
A quick comparison of how legendary quarterbacks prepare on the day before the Super Bowl:

Peyton Manning - spends some hours practicing a new way to reach between the legs of his center, pores over aerial photos of the Bears' defense, then studies tapes of recent games

Joe Namath - spends some hours practicing a new way to reach between the legs of Thai hookers, pours a fifth of Jack Daniels, then studies tapes on the hotel porn channel.

Super Bowl rings to date: Namath one, Manning zero.


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Old and tired: PS3. The new hotness: Wii:
"Our channel checks yesterday of 150 retail stores, from boutiques to big-box retailers, showed that 87 stores had PS3 consoles in stock, while only five had Wiis in stock"


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What is the world's oldest living thing?
Scientists think it is some bacteria thought to be 250 million years old. They will be more certain after they have carbon-dated Cher.


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DIEBOLD VOTING MACHINE MASTER KEY COPIED FROM PHOTO AT COMPANY'S OWN ONLINE STORE!
This is terrifying, if true. It seems incredibly sloppy to post a photograph of the real master keys on line. Why not just photograph some random keys for a web page image? Nobody will know the difference. Does Diebold do everything in such a careless manner?

I have to be fair and say that I had many dealings with Diebold back in the 80s when we were adding ATMs to all the 7-Elevens, and I always found their people to be totally professional and completely buttoned up. We never had any significant problems with their ATMs.

By the way, the name of their company is pronounced "D-bold," so now you can be the only one among your friends to get it right. (Many people in the media mispronounce it as well.)


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Dakota Fanning: 'It's called acting'
"At a festival that features several films with sexual content, including full male nudity and a documentary about bestiality, a Southern Gothic tale that includes the rape of a young girl ... (played by 12-year-old Dakota Fanning) ... is causing the biggest stir. Even before the first screening of Hounddog at the Sundance Film Festival this week, a Christian film critic, citing Fanning's age, decried the movie as child abuse, and Roman Catholic activist Bill Donohue called for a federal investigation."

The feds investigate Dakota Fanning. My tax dollars at work.

It seems to me that the critics cited above have not seen the movie, and have therefore taken the position that one may not make a movie about the rape of children (unless the child is played by an adult).

I'm not sure if that is a defensible stance. Wouldn't the appropriateness of the film depend on how the rape is handled and whether the rape is portrayed as evil? As I understand it, this is not an exploitation movie, but a serious drama created by a female director with a powerful message. It contains absolutely no nudity of any kind. OK, I admit I have absolutely no intention of seeing the film, but I can't see any reason to call it child pornography.


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