Friday, March 02, 2007

Stolen Normal Rockwell painting found at Steven Spielberg's house
My theory - Larry King stole it and planted it there


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Can one be rich and environmentally sensitive?
"Considering that it is practically impossible to dissuade people from pursuing prosperity, about all one can hope for to minimize the use of resources given a certain level of consumption. To have fuel efficient palaces and high-milage private planes. To be filthy rich in an environmentally acceptable sort of way."

"When I was just out of my teens I lived a very environmentally friendly life, sleeping on church benches; rarely laundering my clothes; eating minimally. Walking everywhere. This kind of life is called poverty and is characterized by the fact that you can't afford or consume anything."


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"We're going to take the fastest production car in the world up to its top speed"
(Bugatti Veyron at top speed - 253 MPH, pumping 1001 horsepower out of 16 cylinders). The Bugatti's sticker price is a hefty $1.5 million, but they might give you a good trade-in on your Yugo.


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Flying through the Swiss Alps in a Fighter Jet. Impressive.


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"Denver Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer appears to be heading to Tampa Bay."


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The Sweet Sixteen of the "Would you do her?" Tournament
Now playing: No. 1 Erin Andrews vs. No. 16 Andrea Kremer, with Andrews a heavy favorite


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Will ABC give the Geico Cavemen their own sitcom?


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Keeley Hazell Topless in Hollywood
The woman has some curves!


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The usual daily salute to Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts
Man, they are making a comeback! It feels like 1999 again.


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Tips for men: Beware of the Fat Girl Angle Shot!


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Camera click causes Daly to injur himself, withdraw


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The database of Hip-Hop Honeys


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Schwarzenegger is HAMLET. From one of the underrated genre parodies: The Last Action Hero.


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Top 25 Crimes of the Century


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Tommy Lasorda is too cheap to pay for a hooker


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"The New Horizons spacecraft began sending a limited number of photographs of Jupiter and some of its moons "


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Swiss Army Accidentally Invades Liechtenstein
And they meant business. Of course, they didn't have bayonets drawn, since they don't have regular bayonets, but they did have their corkscrews fully extended, and some of the front line combatants were getting ready to switch to full alert with the cute little scissors, or as they call it in the Swiss Army, "code red."


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This week's celebrity meltdown: Mary-Kate Olsen!
It looks like she's been taking personal appearance tips from Margot Kidder. All she needs is a shopping cart.


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Jeremy Piven Flips His Wig


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"American Idol viewers squashed the dreams of four more aspiring singers Thursday night, but Antonella Barba was not one of them."
Considering that she stinks and some good singers were eliminated, you have to say that the pictures aren't hurting her at all. The judges obviously didn't agree, but c'est la vie


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"Government review finds Jose Padilla competent to face terror rap"


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The hottie bandits have been arrested
The bank robbers are 19-year-old girls


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List of countries by beer consumption per capita
The USA is a poor 13th. Germany, Ireland, Belgium, Denmark and Australia are all top contenders, but none of them is #1.

I'm having a hard time believing that Denmark is only #8. One of the weirdest experiences in Europe is to take an early morning flight out of Copenhagen and to see people drinking beer before the flight - at 6 AM! Now that is dedication to beer! But the country which finishes #1 drinks almost twice as much as Denmark per capita. Can you guess which country before clicking on the link?


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How long is too long for a movie?
Depends. Sergio Leone's Once Upon a Time in America is too short at four hours, but Deuce Biglow: European Gigolo could have stopped at the opening credits. The Cinemark cartoon before that one showed Front Row Joe sitting in the balcony, looking at his watch.


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Today marks a very special edition of Uncle Scoopy's Guest House
Today is the venerable Tuna's 100,000th Anniversary.

That means he has now completed the totally incomprehensible number of 100,000 collages, all of which are housed in our members' section.

As you all undoubtedly know, the 100,000th is traditionally known as the Ytterbium Anniversary, named after the most chronically underrated of the rare earths, and so Tuna earns an anniversary card postmarked in Ytterby and signed by many locals with heartfelt messages in their native Ytterbian dialect. Unfortunately, we have no idea what those messages mean, and the website Ytterby.com is no help. While offering a quaint postcard picture of their apparently deserted town during its one annual snow-free day (I presume they migrate farther north to get in their daily ration of cross-country skiing), the domain offers no words beyond the admonition that "this site is not yet active."

But remember, kids, the National Safety Council reminds you that playing with Ytterbium can irritate the skin and eyes, so always wear your gloves and goggles when you lace your snowballs with it, or any of the rare earth elements.

In order to help us and the quaint denizens of Ytterby celebrate this solemn occasion of near-religious significance, Tuna has selected one of his favorite films. Here is his advance look (yes, including the pictures)at the Cinderella Liberty DVD (Available March 6, 2007), starring Marsha Mason.


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