Tuesday, March 06, 2007

9 Laws of Physics That Don't Apply in Hollywood


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The Top 10 Corporate Moments In Rock


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The first six episodes of Andy Richter's new show are available free at nbc.com


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FilmJerk.com - The Early Report for March 6, 2007
most detailed listings on the Internet of all films scheduled to be released in the upcoming six weeks, including actual and estimated screen counts, running times and ratings. This week's report covers 65 known new movies opening in theatres between Wednesday 3/7/06 and Friday 4/13/07, plus dozens more titles expanding their runs during this timeframe.


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Michael Eisner buys $385 million worth of baseball cards.
Actually, the deal isn't final, but he has made an offer to purchase Topps.


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A collection of Antonella Barba pix (Real ones, presumably.)


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Lord Voldemort has sparked a second storm by frolicking naked at 5am with FOUR young women in a hotel pool.
I want to BE that guy. He was replaced Winston Churchill as my favorite Brit. Oh, sure, Churchill had courage and eloquence, but he never frolicked in public with four naked chicks in the same night.

Two, tops.


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Kirsten Dunst Bikini Pics
Definitely not looking her best.


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Bono's $100 Million Red Campaign Reaps ... $18 Million
Oops


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The Definitive 200 albums that any serious collector must have


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"Pubic hair determines women's sexual character."
"Pubic hair affects women's sexuality, claims Japanese professor Asaki Geino. He classifies women into five types, the most likely of which to be unfaithful being the type whose hair resembles the mouth of a river."


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50 All-New Sex Positions


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Naughty Super Bowl Sparks Beefs To FCC

The Snickers commercial--in which two mechanics accidentally kiss as they jointly eat a candy bar--repulsed some football fans.

"Another purportedly offended viewer was concerned that the halftime show would have an unfortunate lasting effect on his son, who 'hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay ... Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.'"

C'mon, how could they expect that? No straight guy ever watched the halftime show before.


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Prior gets through 1 1/3 innings without season-ending injury
That's the good news. The bad news is that his ERA was above 20! He said he only threw one pitch well - and Jeremy Reed hit that one about 450 feet. That kind of pitching will make Cub fans long for the good old days of season-ending injuries.

The good news is that Kerry Wood also postponed his season-ending injury, and actually pitched well!


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Family Guy: Hugh Hefner Consoles Quagmire


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Family Guy: "Carl Sagan, Edited for Rednecks"


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Jim Carrey impersonates David Caruso


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Harry Belafonte sings The Banana Boat Song for the Muppets


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The Diceman cometh back


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Great TV Moments from The Onion


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How to make oneself appear downright dumb
An interesting follow-up to this would be. "How to make yourself appear to be a sleazebag." I'll kick it off:

Say "Are you calling me a liar?" This statement is just about 100% proof that the speaker IS a liar. If he were not, he would refute the point instad of resorting to an emotional outburst that tries to turn the issue back on the questioner. "But Senator, only 44% of your constituents support your position. That's hardly a majority, is it?"


  • "But I said a majority of registered voters, not a majority of constituents. 63% of registered voters support it" means "I told the truth."
  • On the other hand, "Are you calling me a liar?" means "I lied."

"I refuse to dignify that with an answer!" Virtually 100% proof that the speaker has something to hide. If he could give an honest, truthful answer without embarrassing himself, he would simply give it, not offer rhetoric. "Did you contribute to the American Nazi Party?"


  • "No, of course not" means "no."
  • "I refuse to dignify that with an answer" means "yes."

"I'm not sure that it is ... " or "I disagree with the whole premise , and ... (change subject)" This one must be in the official right-wing lesson plan. It's the official Bush-Cheney response to questions like "Mr. President and/or Vice-President, are you concerned about the polls that show more and more people in the world developing a negative opinion about America, and if so, what is your plan to deal with it?"


  • "I am concerned that we are not selling our message properly, and we have to work on that" means "I know, and I regret it, but sometimes the unpopular stance is the right one, and we have to explain our positions better."
  • "I'm not sure that's true" means "I know, and I don't give a shit."

"But this came from ... (list source)." This one comes from the equivalent left-wing lesson plan. It's sort of a wishy-washy version of Godwinism in that it doesn't usually mention Hitler personally, but employs the same technique. "But wasn't Al Gore's electricity consumption 191,000 kilowatt hours in 2006?"


  • "No, he only used 8 kwh, less than the average hamster, and even less than Daryl Hannah" means "no"
  • "This comes from a right wing blog (or scientist with an Exxon grant)" means "yes"


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When Mardi Gras meets Mickey Mouse - women gussy up their mams to look like Mickey and Minnie


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Spider-Man 3 HD Preview (Direct link. Right click to save.)
If curious, you have to watch this now, because they say it will be taken down at 21:00 EST Tuesday. Don't even think about it unless you have an excellent web connection, The size of the video file is about 300 meg!


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WTF? A Turkish parody of Star Trek


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MST3K ... A Date With Your Family


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Barack's father was capable of time-travel
Can you spot the problem with Barack's story below?

"It worried folks in the White House who said, "You know, we're battling Communism. How are we going to win hearts and minds all across the world? If right here in our own country, John, we're not observing the ideals set forth in our Constitution, we might be accused of being hypocrites." So the Kennedys decided,"We're going to do an air lift. We're going to go to Africa and start bringing young Africans over to this country and give them scholarships to study so they can learn what a wonderful country America is." This young man named Barack Obama got one of those tickets and came over to this country. In 1959, at the age of 23, he arrived at the University of Hawaii - the first African student there."

In case you missed it, Kennedy took office in 1961, whereupon he gave Barack's dad a scholarship and a time machine.

Actually, Obama's recollection is not so far from the mark. To make his claim correct, just cross out "The White House" and substitute "America." It was SENATOR John Kennedy who arranged for the Kennedy Foundation to finance the Mboya Airlift. Full story here. In fact, the State Department ended up getting into a pissing contest with Kennedy over who would pick up the tab, and the whole deal became a political football. (Hey, that's America.)

Once the Kennedy foundation got things moving, the State Department and the Ford Foundation jumped on the bandwagon, and many bright African students came to American universities. If I remember right, Kofi Annan came to America a couple of years after Barack's father, another beneficiary of similar foundation largesse.


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William Shatner "sings" Taxi on Dinah Shore's show!


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Eva Mendes posed nude in DT Magazine


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Companies to pull ads from Coulter's Web site
"At least three major companies want their ads pulled from Ann Coulter's Web site. Verizon, Sallie Mae and Georgia-based NetBank each said they didn't know their ads were on AnnCoulter.com until they received the complaints. A Sallie Mae spokesperson said the company was only testing an online advertising agency, and that their ads were not meant to show up on Coulter's site. The company said they planned to pull ads from other political and religious Web sites as well."

Also, curiously enough, the American Nazi party also pulled their ad, because they don't find Coulter offensive enough. Their spokesperson said: "Ja, she knocks der fancy lads, but der Jews und der retards und der Schwartzes get a free pass."


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Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream


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Groucho Marx and Frank Sinatra - together at last! The two superstars sing a short duet called "It's Only Money" in the movie "Double Dynamite" (1951)


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The other day we had an old Groucho singing Lydia the Tattooed Lady on the Dick Cavett Show. Now here's the original version from "At The Circus"


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Grayson - a Batman fan film - quite cool and professional


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