Saturday, March 31, 2007

Daniel Craig Has A Monster Willy - says Dame Judi Dench
And she would know!

Seriously, Craig has done nude full-frontal nude scenes (in Love is the Devil, for example), and while he has nothing to be embarrassed about, he's not John Holmes either. Perhaps it was the first penis Dame Judi has ever seen.


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It's power against power in the NCAA final
There are no surprises here. If your bracket didn't include these two teams, you were just being sentimental. Florida is the defending champion. OSU was this year's regular season champion. The two teams met earlier this year and Florida won in an 86-60 laugher, but Greg Oden has come a long way since that effort (seven points, six rebounds)


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CBS News headline of the day: "Bello The Clown Broken Over Lost Bike"
You know that clowns ride those tiny little bikes? Well, Bello's was stolen, and it is apparently a treasured family heirloom.


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Attention Howard Stern: Drew Barrymore's lesbian fling


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US Diplomats offer some undiplomatic advice
Some warnings from the State Department:

"Reporting crime is an archaic, exhausting process in Mexico, and is widely perceived to be a waste of time."

"local drivers (In Tunisia) rarely use lanes designated for turns, often cut across multiple lanes of traffic, rarely look before changing lanes, do not yield the right of way when merging, commonly run through red lights without stopping, and generally drive oblivious to other vehicles on the road."


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Daily Box Office for Friday, March 30, 2007
The weekend may still be close because kiddie movies do better on Saturday, but Friday belonged completely to Blades of Glory.

The turtles took a precipitous fall from last week, dropping all the way to fifth, even falling below Shooter, which it beat last weekend 24-14. Shooter dropped a modest 48% from last Friday, while the turtles plummeted more than 70%, which is approaching Gigli territory


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Courtney Love Bikini Candids
I hate to say it, but she looks pretty damned good for a 42 year old woman who has used more drugs than Walgreens


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Moves to save the Brown Danube
I lived within a few hundred yards of the Danube twice: once in Vienna, once in Budapest. Upstream from Vienna, as near as Melk, it was still pretty clean in the early 90s and you might see people swimming and wading in it, but by the time the river reached Budapest, after trips through Vienna and Bratislava, it was heart-breaking to see it and smell it. I hope the Europeans figure this out, because it was a beautiful river, and could be again. I used to love the drive from Vienna to Linz in summertime. I had hoped to take a bike to Linz on the train and pedal it back to Vienna to enjoy at all close-up, but I left before I had a chance.


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Only in the world of moden art can vandalism improve the works!
When you get down to it, many works of modern art are essentially vandalism. Jackson Pollock comes to mind.


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More baby boomer nostalgia: the Association sings Cherish


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Baby boomer nostalgia: The Turtles sing Happy Together (12th November 1967)


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Top 25 Films Noir from the forties and fifties


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Andy Kaufman sings "I Trusted You" on The Midnight Special
Typical Kaufman theatrics from the days before people knew him well. He's as bad as possible for as long as possible. The real show is always provided by the audience. How will they react?


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26 Songs that are just as good as short stories


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The International House of Flammable Flags


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William Shatner Sings to George Lucas
"William Shatner, from Star Trek, sings 'You Had It Your Way' to Star Wars director George Lucas at the 2005 AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to George Lucas show. Later on, Shatner is joined by a group of dancing stormtroopers on stage."


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The fake trailer for Thanksgiving (in the middle of Grindhouse)
This version is rated R for T&A. The original version was about to get an NC-17, because that little censorship box wasn't there when the cheerleader opened her legs.


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Photoshop Contest - celebrities and their mini-mes
The one of Jack Black is actually a bit less stumpy the real Jack Black. And maybe a hair taller.


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Ten reasons you aren't rich


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Can a guy really float away in a deckchair if he has enough balloons?


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George Lange photos (including many famous faces) made into a video presentation


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Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time


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Durant is the first freshman ever to be named AP player of year


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The 9 Biggest Wusses in Rock Today
You think you have pussies in rock today? When I was a kid we had REAL pussies. Lobo made these guys look like Lee Marvin. Air Supply made these guys look like General Patton. And behind them we had Cristopher Cross, Terry Jacks, Dan Fogelberg, Sweet Baby James, America, Graham Nash, and Donovan! Oh, and don't forget Paul McCartney post-Beatles.

As Francois Villon wrote, "Mais ou sont les mauviettes d'antan?." (Where are the pussies of yesteryear?) And Francois knew a thing or two about pussies!


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Bill Maher - Unaired New Rules - the jokes that didn't work


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The trailer to Evan Almighty
(Steve Carrell in a sequel to Bruce Almighty)


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Fewest African Americans in MLB since '80s
I had no idea this was happening until I read the article. I'd like to see the complete stats for all races. My thinking is that the number of white players is also down, with both groups being replaced by Latin Americans and Asians, but even if that is true, the decline in the percentage of black players is not a tiny blip in the stats. In 1995, the percentage of black players in MLB was 19%. Today it is 9%. That's a sharp decline in only a dozen years.


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Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash sing "Girl From The North Country" in 1969


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Tired news: fan killed in European sports riot.

Fresher: BEFORE the event

Other crap's required level of April Freshness: it was women's volleyball!


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A real ABC News headline: "Elvis No Longer King of Dead Celebrities"


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Physicists and engineers, working tirelessly day and night, utilizing billions in government grants, prove that Rosie O'Donnell is an idiot.
Their next grant allows them to study whether Mr. Bean makes funny faces.


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Thirsty For 'The Real Thing'? - Kosher Coke Is Back
You don't have to be Jewish to prefer Passover Coke. Many people buy it by the carload and stockpile it because it's made with real sugar instead of corn syrup. (To comply with the special dietary laws for Passover.)


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"Best of the Stuff We Found on the Internets Awards"


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