Sunday, April 01, 2007

Family Guy: Peter is inspired to make his own chick-flick: Steel Vaginas


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The world's most polluted city.
Some of the industrial cities in Asia make Mexico City seem like a sanitorium


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A real interview with Fake Steve Jobs
You can find Fake Steve's blog here.


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Area bowlers busted for illegal steroids
"A state record number of 300 games at the DonDee Lanes over the past few years has apparently grabbed the attention of bowling's governing body, the United States Bowling Congress (USBC). The attention it got though was not the kind the DonDee was hoping for. A small task force from the USBC showed up on one of the alley's many league nights recently and demanded that a number of bowlers take a drug test using the usually reliable urine sample. 'It was embarrassing," said one bowler from the Big Ballers team who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. "One minute you're drinking a beer and knocking down pins, and the next minute, you're peeing in a cup with a guy in a $500 dollar suit standing six inches away.'"

Y'know, I hate April First.


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"Kamikaze goose destroys Skoda"


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Anna Nicole action figure up on eBay


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FilmJerk.com's Early Report for April 1
" ... features the most detailed listings on the Internet of all films scheduled to be released in the upcoming six weeks, including actual and estimated screen counts, running times and ratings. This week's report covers 81 known new movies opening in theatres between Wednesday 4/4/06 and Friday 5/11/07, plus dozens more titles expanding their runs during this timeframe."


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Bonds belts two home runs in final tuneup game
"The homers gave the 42-year-old slugger seven homers in 18 spring games. "He seems locked in and confident," Giants general manager Brian Sabean said. "That's usually a dangerous combo. I think he really feels good about his physical shape and how far he's come from last year."


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MovieJuice looks at Blades of Glory


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The best of The Simpsons' Openings


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This site has one theme: Pictures of Drunk Athletes


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Grow-your-own Viagra craze hits Britain's garden centres
It's an April 1st article, so ...


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Top Ten Things I Can Say Now That I'm Miss USA, Presented by Miss USA 2007, Rachel Smith.
"I saved 15% on my tiara insurance by switching to Geico"

"Miss New York taught me how to hotwire a Honda Civic"

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the congratulatory presidential phone call came from Clinton, not Bush"


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Letterman's Top Ten Signs You're Addicted to American Idol
"At confession, you say, 'Forgive me, dawg, for I have sinned'"

Each week, you vote one of your kids out of the house

After sex you say to your wife in a British accent, 'Awful. Just pathetic'

Got Adam Sandler to guest host your talk show so you could stay home and vote for Sanjaya


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David Letterman's Top Ten Features of the Million Dollar Laptop
Goes perfectly with your $600,000 desk chair

If you hit Control-F5, a kid shows up at your door with a meatball sub

Pop-ups tell you every time Paris Hilton is having sex on the Internet


Instead of 'You got mail,' computer says 'You got screwed'


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Late Night Political Jokes Update
"Did you see Karl Rove at the correspondents' dinner last night? ... That's like the Republican version of Spring Break. Their wet t-shirt is old guys in tuxedos sweating profusely." -- Jay Leno

"Did you watch American Idol last night? Sanjaya is still on. How is this happening? No matter how horrible he does, he gets voted back. He's like the George Bush of American Idol." -- Jay Leno


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Meet the Robinsons, as reviewed by the king of all critics, Filthy


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The President Bush Collector's Plates


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Bill Maher's New Rules from last night


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Bible Man battles his arch-enemy - The Atheist


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"Dick Cheney - sexiest man alive"


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Weekend Box Office Results for March 30 - April 1, 2007
No great surprises. Don't be deceived by all the negatives on the chart below, or by the fact that it the week was 18% below last year. It was actually a solid (if unspectacular) weekend. It beat 18 of the first 19 weekends of last year - every one except the one it actually happened to line up with. Why the odd circumstances? Because last year was inflated by a monster opening for Ice Age - $70 million, which lifted the entire weekend to $136 million. But that number was a total fluke. The weekend before it was $98 million, and the weekend after it was $105. In fact, among last year's first 19 weekends, only one was above $110 million, and that was the stratospheric $136 we are comparing against!

To look at it another way, this weekend was actually 15% above 2005!



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The Vampire Squid is one of the weirdest creatures in the sea. According to National Geographic this is the only time it has ever been filmed in motion.


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Some think Amelia Earhart's mystery may yet be solved.


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The Greek critics hated 300. The Greek people love it.
The opening weekend's total sale was 325,000 tickets - far, far more than the previous record held by Pirates of the Caribbean.

Greece has only 11 million people - and a million of them have already seen the movie.


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Snoop Dogg Says: "Fuck Bill O'Reilly!"


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KissYouTube
Very handy site. This shows you a secret which allows you to download any YouTube video to your computer (In .flv format). Simply add "kiss" to the URL before the "you." In this example, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1H7omJW4TI becomes http://www.kissyoutube.com/watch?v=K1H7omJW4TI for the download link. After you do that, just follow instructions.


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If you are into voyeur sites, you may want to bookmark The Free Private Voyeur


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Most people are ugly in extreme HD. Natalie Portman would be an exception.


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2007 list of April Fools' Day Jokes on Websites


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NASA announces first mime in space
"There's an enormous opportunity here for cutting costs," said mission director Beja Keflavik. "Tatitov won't need a radio--he communicates brilliantly without words. And during his spacewalk, he'll be pulling himself along an invisible tether, which means we won't have to spring for an umbilicus or rocket pack."


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I love women's water polo
... but I still can't figure out how those horses hold their breath so long


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Vintage nudism-ploitation film


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"After like, a serious amount of research and nausea, we have concluded that Paris did in fact get breast implants"


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Plain or nuts? Full-frontal ChocoChrist exhibition scrapped over outrage.
"A Manhattan art gallery has cancelled its Easter-season exhibit of a life-size chocolate sculpture of a naked Jesus after an outcry by Catholics."


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The exhibit may be gone, but the song lives on: The skid row Sinatra, Tom Waits, sings "Chocolate Jesus"


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"91 percent of American adults surveyed believe in God ... and nearly half reject the theory of evolution."
Even 41% of Catholics reject evolution, despite the basic Vatican position, which is "However the universe and mankind came to be, that was God's plan. God gave you a brain so you could figure it out."


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After-lives of celebrated organs... or how Napoleon lost his penis


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Tom Brady is the father of Anna Nicole's baby!


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That's PROFESSOR Kumar, dude


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You think your hobby sucks? Try collecting vacuums.


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Wrestling nostalgia: Mr Fuji and The Magnificent Muraco in "Fuji Vice"


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