Sunday, April 15, 2007

Coming soon: "In a world ruled by sea lions ... "


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The Most Beautiful Bridges In The World


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South Park - Parody of the movie 300


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FilmJerk.com's Early Report for April 15
" ... the most detailed listings on the Internet of all films scheduled to be released in the upcoming six weeks, including actual and estimated screen counts, running times and ratings. This week's report covers 90 known new movies opening in theatres between Wednesday 4/18/06 and Friday 5/25/07, plus dozens more titles expanding their runs during this timeframe."


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Grindhouse action figures
I guess they were expecting the film to catch on a lot better.

Wait! Action figures for a film that can't be watched by anyone younger than 17? Don't explain this to me. I just don't want to know.


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A young Simon Cowell as a game show contestant on Sale of the Century!


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Does "Hollywood Car Wash" eerily mirror the life of Katie Holmes?
"'Hollywood Car Wash' is Culwell's debut novel, about a young actress who finds herself thrust into the Hollywood industry machine, reshaped, renamed and dating a star with a big secret. Although Culwell doesn't specifically name Holmes as an inspiration, she does say that the book is "based on real events" and that "the main character is based on a person that is never, ever going to talk to me again."


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Another crazy Yankee game
As the Yanks struggle to tread water while the entire team is on the DL, Pettitte delivered a solid start, but Mariano Rivera gave up a walk-off three-run dinger to Oakland's #9 hitter. That clout raised Scutaro's batting average from .050 to a mighty .095


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Topless scenes for Zooey Deschanel?
"Actress Zooey Deschanel will do her first and possibly only nude scene when she plays tragic singer Janis Joplin later this year. The film 'Gospel According to Janis' has been delayed until November, but Deschanel revealed in an interview with Cinematical that she will strip for the camera to capture the singer's wild side. 'There's a famous series of photos of Janis wearing nothing but beads and we're recreating that for the movie. I've never taken off my clothes for a role before and I doubt I'll do it again, but to really become who Janis was I have to get into the mindset that says there's nothing to be ashamed about.'"

The story sounds completely credible to me, but the linked article cites as its source a page from cinematical.com which has been removed. Not sure if that means anything.


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Autistic man draws Rome from memory after a quick helicopter flight.
This is incredible. It's in perfect detail - all proportions correct, right number of windows on the buildings, whatever. Only a few tiny errors.


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Ah, Chicago baseball. The Cubs staff throws a two-hitter! The White Sox staff throws a one-hitter! Both lose!


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What Really Happened That Night at Duke - (Newsweek)
This is even scarier than I thought. Even before the DNA evidence scandal, two of the three defendants could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were elsewhere when the rape was supposed to have occurred! (Not just with witnesses. Seligmann had the records of cell phone calls, ATM withdrawals, taxi rides, etc.) Despite all that hard evidence, Nifong charged forward. By the way, all three kids volunteered for a polygraph, only to be turned down by police. Scary, Kafkaesque stuff.


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Ah, the memories. Rosanne Barr sings the Star Spangled Banner in 1990 for an adoring San Diego audience.


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The Three Stooges join the women haters club - and it works out OK until Larry falls in love:
The episode is performed in rhyming couplets with a rhythmic cadence, over background music. The Three Stooges - inventors of Hip-Hop!


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Jim Carrey as Rocky Balboa:


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Grindhouse Playing To 'Near Empty Theaters'
This source says it has dropped completely out of the top ten - maybe


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Kinky Friedman comes to the defense of Don Imus


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Mammoth storm slams the northeastern USA
Better check the advisories if you are traveling to or within this region. In colder areas, freezing temperatures tonight may create extreme icy conditions coupled with snow.


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Penn & Teller's "Gun Control is Bullshit"


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DON IMUS REPLACED BY MICHAEL RICHARDS
"I've learned that I should be more sensitive to African-Americans and the progress they have made in our society," said Imus. "I should have stuck to making fun of Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. Nobody cares about those jokes."

As for Michael Richards, he's preparing to launch his show next week. "I want my show to be like Adam Carolla's, except funny," he said of his vision.


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Anna Nicole was addicted to pain killers necessary to endure her monstrous breasts!
This is not a satire site or one of my exaggerations. That's the real story.

"SMITH was hooked on drugs 16 years before her death, according to her half-sister. Donna Hogan reveals the late Playboy model took drugs Xanax and Vicodin to overcome the crippling pain caused by two breast enhancements. In her new book, Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith, Hogan says drugs and alcohol were the only form of relief for her sister. She says, 'Due to the extent of the increase in size, the extra weight of her breasts caused her all sorts of pain from her back to her neck to headaches to the pain of that added mass pulling at the tissue and pectoral glands especially when she was not wearing any kind of support. She had to resort to medication.'"


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Headline of the day: "Global warming rally cut short by cold weather"


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If you use RapidShare, here are two HDTV clips of Dina Meyer's nudity in Starship Troopers: ( 1, 2 )


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Weekend Box Office Results for April 13-15, 2007
It was a mediocre weekend which finished about 9% below last year. The 2006 stats were buoyed by a strong $40 million opening for Scary Movie 4, which single-handedly took in almost as much as the sum of all six of this year's new movies.

This was the first week that the scattershot technique failed this year, but the failure is understandable when you consider that the seven new/expanded choices do not really offer that much choice. The newbies include three thrillers, a Viking fantasy, a specialty stoner film, and an independently distributed Euro-gearhead film. (The Hoax, the expansion, is a retro true-life crime pic.) There is nothing for mainstream comedy fans and nothing for families, and the absence of those genres leaves a gaping hole in the box-office coverage. I found no reason to go to a theater this week, and I suppose many other moviegoers felt the same way.

Grindhouse continued to perform below expectations. Those people who hoped that its legs would make up for its poor start will be disappointed to hear that it dropped far faster than expected. The ultimate humiliation occurred when it fell below The Reaping, a film it defeated last week. As I predicted, Grindhouse almost fell out of the top ten. It barely clung to tenth place over Redline, and appears headed for a final number below $30m.

Young Shia LaBeouf was the most positive story of the week, as his thriller soundly trounced Bruce Willis and Halle Berry head-to-head. Shia's Disturbia was the only new release to exceed expectations.

The third thriller, a Ray Liotta vehicle called Slow Burn, may have set some kind of record for the lowest box office ever for films in a thousand theaters or more. I'm not sure what that record is (I couldn't find it at Box Office Mojo), but there can't be too many such films below Slow Burn's $800,000.

The stoner movie finished 13th, but actually did quite well per theater.



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Gillian Anderson is one prickly interviewee


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Lenny Bruce on the Steve Allen Show


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A little nostalgia - the opening from the first year of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
It's not exactly the same as the one you remember. Several elements were changed after that season.


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The Turning is finally available on an all-region DVD
This is of interest to celebrity nudity fanatics because it represents the only time Gillian Anderson did a topless scene in her youth. (She was 23 at the time.) Tuna has the scoop and a picture in The Guest House.


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Gwyneth Paltrow - what an asshole!


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