Monday, April 16, 2007

Our hearts are with the students and parents at Virginia Tech. If you want to follow the story, here's the home page of CNN.com


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Quote of the day: "the full power, weight and majesty of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania will be brought to bear against you."
MADNESS?? THIS IS ... HARRISBURG!! QUAKERS!!! TONIGHT WE DINE ... ON OATS!!


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Unnecessary Censorship: April 14th, 2007


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"King beats off Italian panty challenge"


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"We ask starving Fat Guys if they will give up their lunch for a lap dance from Heather Vandeven, Penthouse Pet of the Year."


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Britney's doing a Sienna in her hot pants!


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Weird coincidences ... 'Wizard of Id' cartoonist Brant Parker dies eight days after the strip's co-creator, Johnny Hart


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Don't stare at the apes, zoo tells visitors
"Visitors are now confronted with signs telling them that making prolonged eye contact with the apes leaves them sad and withdrawn"


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"A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers"


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Colorado court swats down mosquito lawsuit
"Three prisoners serving potential life sentences in Colorado say their lives have been threatened - by mosquitoes."


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Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova caught topless by paparazzi


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Cheesehead Republican presidential hopeful Tommy Thompson told Jewish activists Monday that making money is "part of the Jewish tradition"
I think you all remember the Haggadah's wise words, "Why is this night different from all other nights? The ATM is broken!"


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Blogger TerrenceM said...

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Wal-Mart passes Exxon/Mobil in total sales
The annual revenues for each company total about $350 billion. How high is that? About the same as the GDP of Sweden, which has the world's 20th largest economy!

To put it another way, the total annual GDP of the entire world is 44 trillion dollars - Wal-Mart is nearly 1% of the world's economy. (About 3% of America's economy, give or take.)


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Vintage Busty Nudes 1960 - 1984


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Lindsay Lohan falling out of her blouse? Who could have dreamed?


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BRITNEY SPEARS TIPPED FOR FUTURE QUEEN OF ENGLAND
"Troubled pop star BRITNEY SPEARS is being tipped as a future Queen of England following PRINCE WILLIAM's split from girlfriend KATE MIDDLETON."

Would she be allowed to park a trailer at Buckingham Palace?


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Protestors in India burn Richard Gere effigies
I has no idea that Indians were so astute about films! Boy, they hated Dr T and the Women. Maybe it was the ill-advised McDonald's burger tie-ins. Even I found the Sacred Burgers from Sacred Cows a bit offensive, albeit deliciously holy!

Just curious. Do they also have Sacred Gerbils? In that case, I understand why Gere is a problem for them.

(The protest is actually about Gere smooching up an Indian actress innocently but publicly at a charity event.)


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Don Ho - I'll Remember You (a slide show tribute)


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Headline of the day: "Japanese Company Offers Free Repairs on Toilets That Could Catch Fire"
Talk about a bunch of flaming assholes!

They can afford to give the repairs for free. They made so much money on this that they're flush right now.

Frankly, I consider this unfair competition to the companies who sell flaming toilets and charge for the correction.

They did advertise it properly as inflammable, but I just knew that someday it would cause a problem that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing. Consumers, you just have to study your SAT vocab words.

Of course, Johnny Knoxville knew what it meant and bought it anyway!

I thought about taking the company's generous repair offer, but I decided to keep a hint of danger in my commode. I drink X-treme Mountain Dew, and I'm into x-treme skydiving. In fact those who know me know that I like everything x-treme, including my shits. In fact, I'm thinking of taking up smoking just so I can toss my lit butts in the kindling john.


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LARRY BIRKHEAD, HOWARD K. STERN TO STAR IN "MY TWO DADS" RE-MAKE
Stories being considered for season one include Anna Nicole's mother Virgie Arthur moving in next door in order to be closer to her granddaughter, much to the dads' chagrin; Seidlin helping Birkhead to get his GED without the other Dad finding out; and Stern considering whether to abandon his daughter after Courtney Love offers to make him her personal attorney.


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ANGELINA JOLIE TO ADOPT SANJAYA


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CO-HOSTS VOTED OFF "DANCING WITH THE STARS"


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'Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America' takes prize for oddest book title
"Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan" finished a distant second.

Ah, Daghestan in Springtime! Sure, you'll come to see the spoon boxes, but you'll stay for the tattooed mountain women!





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Can regular guy date a porn star?
"Can a normal, regular guy date a porn queen? I decided to take one for the team and get to the bottom of this question. The Exxxotica convention was recently held in Miami Beach, and what better venue to find out what the starlets think? So I asked the opinions of three well known stars. And the resounding answer was yes, a regular guy "does" have a chance.

Especially if he repairs household appliances or delivers pizza.


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MovieJuice looks at Perfect Stranger
"Bruce and Halle spend countless screen minutes IM flirting while the actors narrate each other's IM's: Scintillating moviemaking that will have you on the edge of your seat - with your nauseous head buried between your legs. If you find something either sexy or thrilling in this movie, IM me. And we'll narrate about it."


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Napoleon Dynamite's "Top Ten Signs You're Not the Most Popular Kid in High School"


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Today in The Guest House, Tuna looks at Francois Ozon's 5x2
With some full frontal nudity from Valerie Bruni-Tedeschi (sister of supermodel Carla Bruni)


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Edward Norton is the Hulk (!!??)


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Pop Culture Palace is updated with the top songs of 1963, #15-#11
Highlight: The Beatles kick off their first Ed Sullivan appearance with All My Loving


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