Other Crap

Stan Lee's Oscar Campaign from Stan Lee - Video

2010-03-06T04:14:00.000-06:00

Avert Your Eyes! Dakota Fanning is Trying to be a Sex Symbol - the runaways - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T14:16:00.000-06:00

Avert Your Eyes! Dakota Fanning is Trying to be a Sex Symbol

"People who shouldn't sing "Cherry Bomb" while writhing around on the floor: The Queen Mum, Martha Stewart, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Mario Batali, and Dakota Fanning."

2010-03-05T13:47:00.001-06:00

Should Carla Bruni have worn a bra?

Ah, the French! Forever discussing the great philosophical issues.
Correct answer: she should not wear a bra or any other clothing. Next question ...

GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club « Borowitz Report

2010-03-05T13:42:00.000-06:00

GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club

"In other news, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin offered this appraisal of her standup comedy performance on The Tonight Show: 'I was like, I'm not going to quit my day job, but then I remembered I already did.'"

Mickey Rourke: 'I Had 14 Women In One Night' - Starpulse Entertainment News

2010-03-05T10:37:00.000-06:00

Mystery quote o' the day: "I Had 14 Women In One Night"

All that glitters may not be cash - The Boston Globe

2010-03-05T08:02:00.000-06:00

Scam alert: Before you try to get cash for your gold, read this.

If The 'Space Invaders' Movie is Faithful to the Game | Cracked.com

2010-03-05T07:49:00.000-06:00

If The Space Invaders Movie is Faithful to the Game | Cracked.com

6 Historic Acts of Revenge That Put 'Kill Bill' to Shame | Cracked.com

2010-03-05T07:48:00.000-06:00

6 Historic Acts of Revenge That Put Kill Bill to Shame | Cracked.com

Are Strip Clubs the Reason Bad Mainstream Rock is a Chart Staple? An Interview With Stripper Tweets - New York Music - Sound of the City

2010-03-05T07:45:00.000-06:00

Are Strip Clubs the Reason Bad Mainstream Rock is a Chart Staple?

The Hollywood Reporter | Heat Vision | Comics | Movie News:'Police Academy' remake on patrol at New Line

2010-03-05T07:43:00.000-06:00

Our long national nightmare is over: A Police Academy remake is on the way

How to understand late-period Steve Martin. - By Nathan Heller - Slate Magazine

2010-03-05T07:42:00.000-06:00

How to understand late-period Steve Martin.

The Associated Press: SEC charges market psychic alleging $6M scam

2010-03-05T06:47:00.000-06:00

SEC charges "America's prophet" with fraud

SEC official: "Morton's self-proclaimed psychic powers were nothing more than a scam."
Oh, that SEC - brilliantly calculating that a psychic is a fraud. Can you slip nothing past their vigilant gaze?
He's already swindled more than 100 investors. I guess the feds had to move slowly because, after all, he might have been a real psychic.
Shouldn't be too hard to convict the guy. If he were a real psychic he would now be snorkeling in the Maldives, having foreseen the feds at the door.
Wait a minute - I may have spoken too soon on that Maldives thing ... "Morton couldn't be located Thursday for comment, and there were no phone numbers publicly listed in the area where he is said to reside."

20 Films Scenes Recreated Using Toys

2010-03-05T06:31:00.000-06:00

20 Film Scenes Recreated Using Toys

Favre says he hasn't decided about playing again - NFL - CBSSports.com Football

2010-03-05T05:26:00.000-06:00

Favre promises an even more tearful retirement ... IF he retires (scratches fingers with the "moola" gesture).

I propose a national cry-off: Glenn Beck vs. Favre vs. that "Leave Britney Alone" dude.

2010-03-05T05:17:00.001-06:00

At last something to cheer us up during the global financial crisis: a yacht that doubles as an island

I already ordered all five because if one yacht is Scoopy Island, then five is Scoopy Archipelago, and a personal archipelago has always been my dream.

2010-03-05T05:15:00.001-06:00

Spicoli Hopes His Critics "Die Of Rectal Cancer"

Gosh, he seems like such a nice man. Truly a gentle spirit.

The 15 Hottest Actresses You Will Never See Naked on Film | Ranker - A World of Lists

2010-03-05T04:51:00.000-06:00

The 15 Hottest Actresses You Will NEVER See Naked on Film

Never say never. It all depends on their career trajectories. Ten years ago Angie Everhart was playing the wholersome card ala Alba and said she would never do a nude scene. Five years later she was doing cheesy grade-Z softcore sex scenes. And that wasn't even for megabucks. Throw multi millions at them and they may tend to reconsider. Of the ones listed here, you can bet that Christina Applegate will never do nudity for a tragic reason. Anything else is negotiable.

The Cast of Jersey Shore Show the World Exactly How Dumb They Are - Jersey Shore - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T02:21:00.000-06:00

Video: The Cast of Jersey Shore Shows the World Its Brilliance

Tom Hanks is Confused, Hilarious as News Analyst - TV - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T02:13:00.000-06:00

Tom Hanks is Confused, Hilarious as News Analyst

How to Make a Tim Burton Movie - Tim Burton - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T02:08:00.000-06:00

Jimmy Fallon's Takes on Sexual Harassment at the Workplace with his Own Vintage Film - Jimmy Fallon - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T02:05:00.000-06:00

Jimmy Fallon looks at sexual harassment in the workplace:

Jon Stewart and Friends Use Chatroulette on The Daily Show - Jon Stewart - Gawker.TV

2010-03-05T02:03:00.000-06:00

Jon Stewart and Friends Use Chatroulette on The Daily Show

"Tonight, Jon Stewart finally - and hilariously - jumped on the Chatroulette bandwagon. Stewart mocked the media's obsession with the Internet's newest fad, before trying it out himself—and running into Diane Sawyer, Keith Olbermann, Katie Couric, Brian Williams and more."

gaga has had tons of sex with strangers - What Would Tyler Durden Do

2010-03-05T01:50:00.000-06:00

More of Gaga with her butt hanging out

SeaWorld whale that killed Dawn Brancheau 'must be stoned to death' | Mail Online

2010-03-05T01:42:00.000-06:00

"Whale that killed its trainer at SeaWorld 'must be stoned to death', says American religious group"

"We're gonna need a bigger stone."
I support them. I believe that they should be allowed to stand on the edge of his pool and throw stones at him. That process will also help them understand a little more about Darwin, specifically how the concept of "survival of the fittest" operates in nature.

Cop Out - The Filthy Critic

2010-03-05T01:27:00.000-06:00

Cop Out, as excoriated by The Filthy Critic

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he liked it:

"I don't care how many orifices you have, Cop Out will fuck you in all of them. Your ass, mouth, nostrils, between your toes. You got pierced ears? Expect to find director Kevin Smith's dick in them before you get out of the theater. Doing that requires a shitload more accuracy and effort than he put into this monumentally lazy, bowel-voiding turd of a movie. Don't pay money to see it. Treat it as my first-grade teacher had the other students treat me when I wet my pants in class: put it in the corner, ignore it and denigrate it until it goes away in shame.
"Toward the end of the movie there is a shootout at a bad guy's house that is, apparently taking place at night. Or so it would seem from the outside. Yet, inside, the bad guy is terrorizing a woman while sunlight streams through a window behind him. That sort of gaffe is almost understandable, though, since Cop Out has no sense of time. A scene during the day suddenly turns to night, or vice versa, a couple of times without a dusk or dawn or any indication of the time of day. In a motel room scene where it looks like Bruce Willis is trying to escape the movie, he stands by the door for a long time. The latch behind him magically goes from closed to open back to closed. This isn't a fucking Ed Wood movie. This is a piece of shit Warner Brothers expects us to pay $10 a head to see. Yet nobody could fix shit like this? Or, rather, no editor, director or producer cared to? Fuck all of them."
I could go on and on about the shitty laziness and incompetence of Cop Out: the by-the-single-digit-numbers direction; the awkward pauses; the gaffes; and the labored, drawn-out dialog. Hopefully, though, you get the point. That is, this is one fucking shitty piece of crap that needs to be ignored and shamed until it goes away. I can only hope it puts the final nail in the crummy career of the fat-ass, under-talented and over-persistent hack Kevin Smith. He's a fucking blight."

I haven't seen it. For the record, it scores 19% on the Tomatometer and Roger Ebert gave it 1.5 stars. Ebert said:

"If you combine the enthusiasms of a geek with the toilet humor of a third grader, you'll be pretty close to defining the art of Kevin Smith. When the muse visits him, Smith gets inspired and makes fun movies. Alas, "Cop Out" is not one of those movies. "Cop Out" tells your standard idiotic story about buddy cops who screw up, get suspended by the captain and redeem themselves.
A lot of the dialogue is intended as funny, but man, is it lame. Many of the gags possibly looked good on paper, but watching Willis and Morgan struggle with them is like watching third graders do Noel Coward, if Noel Coward had been rewritten by Kevin Smith."

Scoop's note: Kevin did not write the film. You can blame him for other things, but if the writing sucks you have to blame two guys named Mark and Robb Cullen.